One of the very first things you probably notice about a woman is her breasts. There are a lot of men out there that are downright obsessed with boobs, but even those that aren’t totally crazy about them admit that they are still an important part of their attraction to a woman. With all of the attention that men give a woman’s breasts, you would think that he would be all over them in the bedroom, but oddly, that’s not the case. Most men pay very little attention to women’s breasts during sex and not much more during foreplay. It’s hard to know why this happens, but one theory is that many men don’t really know what women like when it comes to breast play, so they just end up focusing on other areas instead. Unfortunately, if you do this, you’re missing out on a major pleasure center for women. The breasts are a wonderful and important erogenous zone and deserve A LOT of attention. With that in mind, here are nine things that you just HAVE to do to her breasts:

1. Know that every woman likes something different – Just like with anything, every woman likes something different when it comes to breast play and it’s your job to find out what your partner likes. Don’t assume she will like the same thing as the last woman you were with. Some women like rough play, biting and pulling on their nipples, while others might literally cringe at the thought of anything but a feather light touch. Then there are a million other things between those 2 extremes. Get to know what she likes. And just to throw you for another loop, what she likes might also depend on what point she is at her in menstrual cycle. Many women get sensitive and sore breasts and nipples before or during their period.

2. Start slow and soft – If you’re not totally sure what your partner likes when it comes to her breasts, it’s important to start slowly and softly. You can always increase the pressure, but it’s a big turn off to be too rough with a woman who’s not into that. Begin by tracing your fingers along the outer areas of her breasts. Lightly run your finger along the underside of her breasts and breathe warm hot breath over her nipples. Her breasts (not just nipples) are full of nerve endings and light touching will send heat waves right to her genitals.

3. Don’t go straight for the nipple – In fact, you want to avoid the nipple all together for a few minutes. Stroke, draw circles, kiss and lick the other parts of her breasts, but only breathe hot air over the nipples and don’t make any contact with them at all. They will be tingling with desire and she’ll be hyper aware of how they feel because she’ll be dying for you to touch them. No matter how much she seems to want you to touch her nipples, hold out for a few minutes and tease her. Believe me, it will be worth it. She’ll be soaking wet and going crazy by the time you run your tongue over them for the first time.

4. Find out what she likes by ASKING! – Most people have a really hard time talking about sex and what they like and don’t like in the bedroom. Even though it would greatly help their sexual relationship, most people don’t like the idea of talking about this aspect of sex with their partner because it embarrasses them! If you feel like that, don’t worry, you’re not alone. And even if you’re totally comfortable talking about sex, your partner might not be and that might make it difficult. So, here’s how you can talk about sex and find out what she likes and doesn’t like without making it awkward. Ask her simple questions in the moment. Things like “do you like that?” “do you want me to go softer/harder/faster/slower?” “show me where/how you like to be touched” will give you a lot of important information and if you ask them the right way, it’s more like dirty talk than interrogating her about her sexual preferences. Just be careful not to ask her too much about what she likes, or you might seem insecure in yourself and your skills. Make a point to check in with her about something you’re doing each time you’re intimate and that way you get a lot of information without asking too many questions.

Oops, sexy! We’re all out of time for today, so you’ll have to stay tuned for my next article to get the other 5 tips on the hottest breast play ever. Believe me, they’re worth it!

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about breast orgasms and pleasure CLICK HERE NOW!

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It’s generally assumed that a woman’s sex drive isn’t as strong as a man’s, and that men basically want to bang anything in a skirt. It has also been suggested that women aren’t as aggressive about sex as men. But that isn’t always the case. So what do you do if the roles are reversed? Or if she loves you, but just doesn’t feel like having sex as often as you? What do you do when you and your partner simply aren’t running the race at the same pace? While there is no hard and fast rule about why your sex drives may differ, here are a few reasons to consider.

The age gap

It’s a well-known fact that a man’s sexual peak is in his twenties while a woman’s is in her thirties – so depending on how old your partner is, you could be wanting very different things. From middle age, there is a natural decline in sexual desire and the frequency of sex for so many individuals. This period may also see a decreasing sex drive, but if you get adequate sleep and exercise, it can be improved.

Psychological factors

Sexual desire is just as much a head game as a physical one. If one of you is less sexually experienced than the other, it can affect interest in sex. In addition, conditions such as anxiety, depression and attachment disorders can impact sex drive. Other physical sexual difficulties can also lead to avoiding sex. For women, getting turned on can be a complicated thing. Issues relating to power and control, or even initiation or routine can negatively affect your sex drive. A genuine connection usually means better sex. So emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction go a long way to improve one’s sex drive.

Work vs Werk

Our work-life balance can also affect our sexual appetite. Sexual desires are heavily influenced by social, cultural, environmental and contextual factors. Traditional gender roles can heavily influence beliefs about sex. A common one is that men are entitled to sex and should aggressively initiate it, while women should be passive. This can make it difficult for women to communicate their needs equally and openly. And if either of you works long hours, this can lead to poor work-life balance. This can impact sexual intimacy and may also delay couples from seeking treatment earlier.

Let’s talk about it

Differing sex drives doesn’t have to be a huge problem in the relationship, but there’s more to solving the problem than just thinking you’ll eventually adjust. The loss of sexual intimacy is usually followed by a more general loss of intimacy. If your partner has a lower sex drive, it can be hard for her to talk about it. Women are often not able to share their concerns freely with their partner as they feel they will be misunderstood. But you also have to be aware of the fact that how frequent you have sex can and will vary. Factors like how long you’ve been together, the quality of your relationship and even your home environment can play a part. You need to communicate your concerns and desires in ways that enhance mutual understanding. Being aware of barriers that influence sexual desire, and discussing sexual preferences is a good start. It’s also important to remember that non-sexual acts of physical intimacy are just as important to maintain physical closeness between a couple.

Say what you want

Different sex drives don’t have to be the end of the world. Here’s how to talk about it.

Be respectful. Whether you’re the one who wants more sex or the one who’s being asked for it, remember it’s important to respect your partner’s wishes. That doesn’t mean giving in, but it does mean understanding that what they want is just as important as what you want.

Communicate. Talk about what your expectations are and understand what turns you and your partner on and off. It’s good to have an idea at least in theory so there’s something to discuss if anything comes up.

Don’t take it personally. Differing sexual desires are very common. Being rejected by your partner may not always be about you. Everything from sleep to stress can take its toll so it’s important to be understanding. Also remember it can be just as frustrating for your partner.

Do something different. It’s always exciting to mix things up a little to get that spark going. Book an impromptu staycation – this way, you won’t get stuck in roles you’ve inevitably fallen into.

Focus on what works. It’s also important to remember what works for the both of you. Try to reproduce and recreate those special moments – they’re bound to work again if they were that great!

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Interested in coordinating your libidos and have fiery intercourse? Click here to learn more. 

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I know very well which female body parts you guys most frequently like to explore, but there is more to your partner than a vagina, breast and butt. The largest amount of nerve endings may be packed into those areas, but a woman has pleasure sensors all over her body, and getting her in the mood may be as easy as stimulating some of these often-neglected, less-obvious spots. Incorporating touching these places into foreplay and sex, or just giving her some pleasure after a long day, will definitely earn you some brownie points. Here are the areas she most definitely dreams you showered with a little extra attention tonight.

1. The underside of her butt. The place where her thigh turns into her butt is for more than showing off under the hem of those denim booty shorts she thought were so hot circa 2007. It’s a nerve-rich area, too, and stimulating it can make for sexy foreplay. Instead of diving straight for her clitoris and give her oral, for example, you can trace one finger along it, or try light kisses or licks and then work your way to vulva territory.

2. The underboob. Cleavage is the star of many an outfit, and nipples are endlessly pinched, licked, and sucked, but the underboob goes all but unnoticed. It doesn’t have to be this way. A single finger here can feel amazing. You can also lick this area with a long stroke or in a circular motion. The skin here is super sensitive and receptive to stimulation, and what’s more, it’s so close to two tried-and-true classic erogenous zones — her nipples — that they may perk up, too.

3. The backs of her knees. Another overlooked and nerve-rich area, the backs of her knees might also benefit from some touching, kissing, or licking — or even stimulation from a vibrator if you’re feeling particularly adventurous. To up the stakes, drag a tiny pinwheel designed for sensation play, an ice cube, or a tickler from the back of her knee up her body to her more “traditional” erogenous zones. The slower you go, the more anticipation will build.

4. The inner elbows. I recommend light kisses and strokes on the thin skin here. This might feel divine to some, so-so to others, and ticklish to a few, but it’s worth finding out which camp you’re dealing with.

5. The labia. Yes, her labia are hard to miss, but they’re still often ignored. You wouldn’t think of labia as being overlooked, but so many people tend to go straight for the clitoris. Before you do that, though, try teasing the labia to increase excitement. Slowly slide your finger from top to bottom, without parting the lips, then keep going up and down, gradually increasing your pressure until you start to feel your finger slip inside. You can find this spicy technique, plus many more from the same family, in my newest program

6. The anus. More and more people are opening up to the joys of anal play, but I’d say it’s still a pretty overlooked spot. The key with anal play is to start slow: There are so many ways to enjoy this area other than penetrative sex. Check out the magical world of butt plugs (there’s a size and style for every body), experiment with fingers and mouths, and don’t forget the lube. A great way to start is to apply a tiny bit of pressure to the outside of her anus with one lubed-up finger, as you’re going down on her or fingering her.

7. The back of her neck. This is an especially sexy spot, and your partner doesn’t have to be undressed for you to access it. People pay a good amount of attention to the front and sides of the neck, but tend to forget about the back. Flip your partner over onto her belly, pull her hair up, and kiss along her hairline. Then, you can work your way down to the underside of her butt and the backs of her knees — you’re making up for all the times you forgot how good you can make her feel.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you want to learn how to master her Vagina, click here to watch my Vagina Masterclass

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FEMALE LIBIDOINCREASING FEMALE LIBIDO

How often should your partner want sex? There is no simple answer.

The question you’ve just read is only one of the many I get asked about sex. As a sex educator and author, pretty much every question I’ve been asked boils down to the same thing: ‘Am I normal?’ And the answer is often the same. ‘Yes, you’re normal. She’s normal. That’s normal, too.’

In fact, over the past 20 years, I’ve become convinced that the single biggest issue causing desire problems is that men get too focused on whether their partners want sex or not, and forget to pay attention to whether the sex that they’re having is good or not. So how can you shift your focus and maximise your sexual potential for both you and your partner? It’s actually a lot easier than you might think…

Why Sex is Not a Drive

The idea that we each have a set level of desire ranging from ‘nope’ to ‘gimme more’ is kind of basic. You might assume that apart from fluctuations depending on the newness of a relationship, your and your partner’s levels of interest in sex are fairly static.

But what if I told you that the science behind your sex drive can more accurately be described as a dual-control model of sexual response—and that it’s really not a ‘drive’ at all?

The dual-control model says that the sexual-response mechanism in your brain has two parts. First, there is an accelerator that responds to all of the sexually relevant things that are in your environment and sends a signal that says, ‘turn on!’ (this could be the smell of your partner or her touch, or even the feel of her underwear).

Second, there are sexual breaks which respond to all the very valid reasons not to want sex right now—from unwanted pregnancies to STIs, to relationship and trust issues, stress or body image worries. Difficulties with desire (or having a ‘low sex drive’), are rarely about getting too little stimulation to your accelerator. Instead, lack of desire is more often about too much ‘brake’. The good news? You can absolutely do something about it.

What Makes a Great Ride?

Once you have a sense of how sensitive your brakes and accelerator are, think about what hits them. Think of the great sex you’ve had in the past and also not-so-great sex. Consider what it was about those experiences that made it easy to want and enjoy sex. Then think about what slowed things down or got in the way. Yes, you and your partner have your own personal turn-offs, but there are other factors that affect your levels of desire and some that have little or no impact.

HORMONES: Sorry, but these probably aren’t the reason for her lack of interest in sex. Research shows that less than 10 percent of women who have difficulties with desire do so because of hormones.

MONOGAMY: Nope, it’s probably not that, either. Some monogamous couples don’t have great sex lives, and some monogamous couples do. The ones who do have two things in common: a strong friendship and making sex a priority.

STRESS: About 80 percent of us find that stress, depression, and anxiety can reduce our interest in sex. The rest of us find these issues can actually increase our interest in sex. Interestingly, this increased interest doesn’t tend to come with greater pleasure.

MOOD: Imagine she’s feeling flirty, and you start pushing all the right buttons that usually lead to sex. This could potentially spell F-U-N. But if she’s stressed and frustrated, and the same thing happens, she might want you to LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE. Same sensation + different mindset = totally different experience. Mood can really matter with sex.

SEXPECTATIONS: Some women find themselves avoiding even kissing their partners because they’re worried that a make-out session will only create an expectation of sex that they’ll then feel obligated to fulfil. If this is the case with your partner, remove sex as an option for a while so that you can enjoy simply touching—without her fearing she might disappoint you.

Removing her Brakes

So now you’ve identified what makes her slam her brakes, how do you stop them from interfering with her arousal? Pick something you can see is interfering with her desire—whether it’s her stress levels or the fact that you’re majorly getting on her nerves—and make a specific, concrete plan for dealing with it. While you’re coming up with your strategy, think through what the potential barriers could be. And then plan for what you’ll do if you encounter that barrier.

For example, if her worries about your expectations are interfering  with her sexual desire, remove them by taking sex entirely off the table. Make a rule that for a month you won’t touch each other below the waist, or even orgasm in front of each other (this is standard operating procedure for sex therapy). Instead, share touching—kissing, hugs, cuddles—without the risk of hitting your ‘What if this turns into sex I don’t want?’ brake.

Hitting her Sex Accelerator

Women, or anyone, with less sensitive accelerators and more sensitive brakes are likely to experience ‘responsive’ desire. This means that when you start kissing her neck in a sensuous way, or nibbling her earlobe just how she likes it, her body thinks, ‘Sex? That’s a good idea!’ This is not the same as ‘spontaneous’ desire, which seems to appear out of the blue, before anything apparently sexy is happening. Most of us will experience both spontaneous and responsive desire at different times in our lives. Unfortunately, many of us have been taught that spontaneous desire is the ‘best’ type—but responsive desire is just as normal and healthy. If any of this sounds like your partner, try shifting the focus away from trying to want sex, and pay attention to what kind of sensations she enjoys instead. You might find going slowly and building up to sex gradually can only be a good thing. The more you embrace pleasure and create contexts where pleasure can grow and expand, the more desire will emerge all on its own.

Hot embraces,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more juicy intel on how you can influence her libido and make her crave you 24/7, check out my program on the subject: Flesh on Flesh – Your step-by-step roadmap to jumpstarting her desire for sex.

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“… We were long distance, and now that we’re in the same city, I’d like it three times a day. She countered with once on weekdays and twice on weekends, but somehow it isn’t enough for me and I’m disappointed. Now she’s self-conscious that her sex drive is low and that we aren’t sexually compatible. What can I do?”

Never schedule sex

Sex should be fun and spontaneous, and your partner can’t promise that she is going to be in the mood when she’s just not. You could try sexting; you can have that foreplay all day, and then when you see each other, you’re excited and she’s excited and you can do all of the things you talked about. But don’t force your partner to compromise on what she wants or doesn’t want. Sometimes when women are trying to please a guy, they forget about themselves. You can try to meet her halfway, but don’t force her to do something she’s not into. It’s not worth it. You could ruin your entire relationship.

Find a compromise

You don’t sound sexually incompatible in the least! Sex twice a day on weekends is pretty close to three times a day. She’s made a generous compromise and you can meet her in the middle (masturbating more frequently is one idea). But having a ‘how many times a day’ rule isn’t the best approach to a healthy sex life. Rather try to allow it to happen with fewer expectations.

Know the cardinal relationship rule

A partnership should never depend on the other person changing for you, and she shouldn’t feel obliged to have sex three times a day in order to maintain your shared bond. (And if anybody needs to give, it’s you – you’ll have a harder time finding what you’re looking for.) If you are not able to reach an agreeable compromise, all the communication and love in the world won’t change that. So you may need to accept her point of view as well or else she’ll move on to another guy.

Distinguish between reality and fantasy

Sex three times a day sounds passionate, at least in theory, but it’s amusingly impractical. Ask yourself how often did you really have sex in your past relationships? It will help you figure out whether you have a high sex drive or if this is just your fantasy. Either way, have sex when you both want to. Women are socialised to see sex as a duty they perform for their partners, and who wants something that’s a job rather than fun? It’s important to remember that sex isn’t just about making you happy; it’s about making your partner happy, too.

Don’t take it personally

Differences in sexual desire within couples are very common. Although it is hard to have your advances rejected repeatedly without taking it personally, you need to remind yourself that a partner’s lack of interest in sex just may not be about you, your attractiveness, or your qualities as a human being. It may be a matter of a hormone deficiency or other physiological problems—or feelings the person has about herself. Although you undoubtedly want things to change, try to develop a little empathy. Chances are, given the choice, she would prefer to feel turned on easily. It’s no picnic to feel disinterested in something your partner thrives on. She may feel inadequate, for example. The situation hurts you, but don’t underestimate how painful it is for your partner. Even if she acts defensively, your partner probably spends lots of time wondering why things aren’t easier between you. Try to be understanding.

Do something different

It’s time to try a new approach. First, back off for a while. No matter how attracted you might be to your partner or how ready you might be to make love, for a certain period of time you should commit to not approaching her. Do not initiate sex for a while and see what happens. Don’t talk about the plan; just back off and wait. Sometimes the lower-sexed person simply needs more time to allow her batteries to recharge. When the tug of war has ended, she might feel more amorous. It’s worth a shot. Or do a 180: Wouldn’t it just blow your partner’s mind if you were to tell her that you have been doing some reading and that you now have a better understanding about her feelings and you’re sorry about all the fighting? Think about it: Your partner has been making you feel like a sex maniac and you’ve been making her feel like a celibate. You’re convinced that you’re right, and she is convinced of the opposite. And where has all of it gotten you? I can’t guarantee that telling your partner that you understand her feelings better will make that person want to jump into bed, but I can tell you that making your partner “wrong” won’t do it.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more hot tips on how to properly coordinate your libidoes, check out my video program on the subject – Flesh on Flesh.

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It’s one thing to feel frustrated sexually because, say, you don’t do it twice a day, like in your horniest dreams. It’s another when you just aren’t satisfied, to the point that you’re sneaking hand jobs during your lunch breaks and are so horny that looking at any person with a skirt turns you on. It’s even harder when you love your partner and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Not sure what to do or how to tell her you’re just not satisfied in the sack? I have come to your rescue via a list of ways to tell your partner you’re not getting what you want.

1. Ask your partner what’s going on.

Get clued in to how your partner is feeling. Rather than approach her with the request, “I need sex,” ask her how she’s feeling and see if maybe you can get to the bottom of why she doesn’t want to have sex. Low sex-drives can be tough but sometimes there’s more too it than that (stress, work, etc.) that could be the factor here.

2. Try to masturbate together.

If sex in the clinical definition of the term is the issue, try something else that’s sexy together. And if she doesn’t want to have sex, ask her if wants to at least try mutual masturbation so you can at least feel that connection with her again.

3. Initiate.

There’s a chance your partner might just not be the type to initiate, and if that’s the case, you should give it a go rather than getting worked up about it. If you are the higher sex drive person, it will be up to you to initiate most times. Don’t feel bad when you get rejected, just because you want sex doesn’t mean they do.

4. Know what actually turns your partner on.

Talk about it. Ask what turns your partner on, ask if they are feeling desired and wanted. Maybe telling your partner that she is sexy will do the trick.

5. Send a sext. 

Prime your partner earlier in the day. Flirt. Text. Be suggestive. Say exactly what you want to do to them. Not sure what to say? Maybe try consulting this list.

6. Don’t quietly barter for sex.

One: You are not property. Two: Sex isn’t a transaction! Avoid covert contracts. That is where you do something and expect something else in return, but you have not communicated the expectation. Covert contracts ALWAYS lead to disappointment. So even though you might think doing chores might get him laid, this simply never ends happily for all parties involved. Maybe you’re routinely giving her oral sex hoping she’ll feel obligated to return the favour. Just don’t do it. It’s not the way to go.

7. Put it on the calendar.

Is she working late hours? Does her professional schedule make it hard to get busy? Then pencil your carnal encounters in like they’re a doctor’s appointment. If it’s your schedules/exhaustion from daily life that gets in the way, try having ‘sex days.’ The anticipation of knowing what Tuesdays and Saturdays brings will make you both ready to rip each other’s clothes off at a moment’s notice.

8. Be really, really honest.

You’re in a trusting relationship (hopefully), so don’t skirt around the edges (you can still be nice though!). And 100% talk to her in an open and frank manner. Nothing else is going to work as well as having an in-depth conversation about it. Tell her how you feel, and ask how she feels. That still might not produce the results you really want, but it’s the best way to go about it. You need to understand her side of the situation, and she needs to understand yours. Don’t leave anything out.

9. Recognise your partner just might not have as high of a sex drive as you do.

Some people have low sex drives and some people just lose interest in someone sexually, while still really liking them as a person. See if there are other ways to see if some sparks can get ignited. It honestly shouldn’t be that hard if she is truly attracted to you, but just sufferers from low sex drive.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more juicy tips on how to recharge your lady’s libido, check out my program on the matter, Flesh on Flesh.

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Regardless if you’re partnered up or flying solo, there are always times when there’s nothing else we’d rather do than have a little fun in the bedroom. Not only does sexual intercourse and foreplay help to release stress, it also produces feel-good hormones that can instantly boost your mood and confidence. But when it comes to women (and men, actually!), while she might be fantasizing sex on a Tuesday morning, by that evening she could be totally put off and would much rather cuddle with Netflix than you.

This is because women’s sex drives are often complex and confusing for couples to navigate. There’s also all sorts of misconceptions and surprising truths about what entices women’s bodies for sex, making the connection between two people pretty difficult to describe. Why? It’s always changing, and oftentimes, there’s no rhyme or reason for a woman’s varying shifts in desire and lust. A woman’s desire for sex can change throughout her life and there is no ‘normal’ level to experience.

Now that you know that she can be hot and cold whenever she feels like it, consider these facts about sex drive:

When it comes to getting in the mood, it’s not about her genitals

When it comes to what makes a woman excited to get naked, it’s less about what’s going on between her legs and more about mental attraction. Women feel desire for sex in different capacities and it can be affected by a variety of outside influencers: stress, anxiety, sense of emotional safety with a partner, hormone balance – these are just a few factors that can affect whether or not she wants to get busy with someone.

Soy can lower female sex drive

From giving her an energy boost before working out to helping her get through that 3 p.m. afternoon crash at the office, what she fuels her body with is the driving force that connects her body to action. Women who have high-soy diets might experience a decreased desire to get jiggy with it. It has been reported that women who eat a lot of soy products usually have a low sex drive. Although soy products are high in nutritional value, they have phytohormones, which are known to change the endocrine system. This in turn lowers the female libido by seventy to eighty percent.

Women don’t like sex less than men — they just experience it differently

The running joke in nearly every television show or sitcom is women complaining about their partners initiating sex on the regular. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Some people are surprised to learn that there is no scientific evidence that supports the assumption that women simply have a lower sexual desire level than men. Our culture bases our understanding of sexual desire using male desire as a default, so anything that appears different from men’s sexual desire must be abnormal in some way. Every couple, every person is different.

Female sex drives might be more complex than we think

Because of how women’s bodies are built and the various chemicals they process, the act of getting it on is a different experience than it is for men. A female’s sex drive is more responsive, meaning that women don’t get ‘spontaneously’ turned on, but rather, they react to what their partner is doing in a given moment. Women respond to situations, initiation, or closeness with arousal. They may require more emotional intimacy, relaxation, relationship happiness, as well as sexual stimulation to build arousal. Cuddling and physical closeness has been found to have the same positive chemical response in women as sex, and may be the thing they desire at one moment or another. Testosterone was linked to desire in women if their cortisol levels (amount of stress) were low.

Another thing that might make a woman’s inclination toward intercourse more complicated is that what turns a woman on one day isn’t always the same thing that turns her on the next day (or sometimes, even the next hour). Women also tend to have more flexible sexual arousal patterns and orientation over time, meaning the things that get them hot change and can include different genders or sexual expressions. So while men have more spontaneous sexual feelings, women’s desire may be more complex, and highly linked to other factors that may need to be awakened to start a sexual connection.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more tips and tricks about how to fire up your partner’s libido, check out my program on the matter – Flesh on Flesh

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

It’s perfectly normal for a woman to experience dips in her libido. These are due to lack of sleep, fluctuating hormones, stressful situations, exhaustion and physical or emotional health. Many women feel too tired for sex or have times when their sex drive is low. Experiencing less interest in sex might also be due to boredom in the bedroom. Luckily, you can turn this around to your advantage with just a couple of really simple tricks. Check them out and restart her passion drive tonight!

1. Focus on pleasure, not penetration

Pleasure doesn’t always have to mean (or lead to) penetrative sex. There may be times when she doesn’t really feel like having sex – but it’s important to focus on the things that she finds pleasurable and her appetite might appear. These may be kissing, lying in bed naked together or even giving or receiving oral sex.

2. Keep it fresh

Couples in long-term relationships may find that they need to be a little more creative when it comes to how you have sex. Sex stagnates in long-term relationships. You end up doing the same routine month after month – around seven minutes, twice a week, in the same position. You have to work at sex with your partner to keep things fresh. I recommend doing something special once a week to take on the mindset you had when you were first dating. Try anything just as long as you’re both comfortable with it. Here’s one activity that can be a lot of fun: sucking your partners’ toes. Most people will cringe at it, but once you get past the initial idea it can be a highly sexual experience because your feet are an erogenous zone.

3. Don’t shy away from sex toys

Sex toys can add a whole new dimension to your relationship and are a great way to spice things up and add variety to the bedroom. My advice is to start small and work your way up. Slimmer vibrators are perfect for those new to sex toys and ones with rabbit ears provide dual stimulation of both the clitoris and the G-spot. For a slightly more experienced user, I recommend wand massagers – they are one of the fastest growing sex toy categories, rivalling traditional vibrators in popularity. They give powerful vibrations and many women report more intense orgasms using them.

4. Use sexual fantasies to your advantage

Sexual fantasies are really important. A lot of people feel that the only way they should experience desire is from their partner. If your partner thinks it’s somehow dishonest or disloyal if she’s relying on a fantasy or masturbating before she goes to bed to feel more aroused, make sure you tell her it’s completely ok. If this increases her desire and she enjoys it, she should do it. If she needs more prompting, I recommend reading some erotic literature to get you both in the mood. I’ve always been a huge fan of erotic books, and the stories are not only for entertainment, they can also give you some great ideas for what you and your other half can get up to.

5. Adjust her diet (and yours!)

Diet is incredibly important when it comes to maintaining your sex drive. Good fats (unsaturated fats), for example oily fish, nuts and seeds, are important for boosting libido because sex hormones (such as testosterone) are manufactured from these foods. Also, fats will also help to keep tissues like the vagina lubricated and soft. Also, oysters contain good amounts of zinc, which is important for the production of sex hormones, hence the old wives’ tale of using oysters as an aphrodisiac. Good quality protein is important as it contains L-arginine, an amino acid that’s needed by the body to make nitric oxide, a compound that helps blood circulation in those areas, which are important for a healthy sex life.

6. Don’t judge your partner

It’s important to let your partner know that there’s no right amount of sex that you should be having, whether you want it twice a day or once a month. Remind her that most of us are not having orgasmic sex all the time. It doesn’t matter how often you do it, but if you like it. After all very few individuals have consistently great sex. Most of us bumble through with a mix of outrageously grand sessions, ordinary shags and the odd highly embarrassing incident. Even couples who rate their sex life as fantastic admit only two to three sessions out of every 10 are sheet-grabbing material. Push yourselves when things are good, but be kind and forgiving when things aren’t.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more juicy tips on how to recharge your lady’s libido, check out my program on the matter, Flesh on Flesh.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“You can’t force sexual chemistry to exist where it doesn’t in the same way you can’t deny it when it does.”

If someone asked you if less sex meant less spark, and you thought, “Less sex? What on earth are you talking about?” then you’re probably one of two people. You’re either a) a lucky bastard in a brand spanking new, shiny relationship, or b) a sex robot sent from the future to woo mankind with your mechanical wiles. If you’re person A, then read this anyway – because it will happen eventually. And if you are person B, welcome! You probably don’t even need to read this, as you’re no doubt programmed for constant sexy times. But everyone else… read on. You might just learn a little something.

How often is often enough?

How many hairs are in Beyonce’s head? How many times has Charlie Sheen been unfaithful? How does Pharrell manage to stay forever young? This is one of those knots that’s not easy to untie. So let’s see how normal people get it done. Cate, 29, and Sean, 30, have been together for four years and they have sex… drum roll, please… twice a week. Then there’s Rachel, 39, and Ben, 42, who’ve also been together for four years and enter the mattress Olympics an average of twice a month. And behind door number three we have Emily, 36, and Joel, 38, also four years in and currently having sex an average of once a month.

So what’s the deal? Who’s normal and who’s not? Actually, how often a couple has sex can depend on a range of things, like age, gender, libido, life-stressors and more. Everyone’s different. But if you really want it in black and white, one of the best sources of info I have says that on average, 30 to 49 year olds have sex 86 times a year.

Quick note: There is one technique that will help you with this…. The “Playmate Switch” developed by Alex Allman a fellow friend and Sex Coach from New York, you can check his technique on his course “Passion & Attraction that Lasts” by clicking here,)

Why the nooky’s gone MIA

So if you’re not bumping nasties at least once or twice a week, should you be worried? There are so many reasons a couple’s sex life has diminished, and many of them are as simple as someone being tired or feeling stressed and worn out after an exhausting day in the office. If a couple if going through a transitional stage in their life that impacts on both their emotional and physical welfare, such as a career change, illness or grieving a loss, then it’s actually pretty normal for that couple not to have a rockin’ sexual appetite.

But what if it’s none of the above? What if you’ve gone from doing it eight times a weekend to just eight times a year, without even really noticing? “We stopped having sex every other night when we moved in together. We went from seeing each other three or four times a week to every single night. So I guess it just didn’t seem as urgent anymore”, says Ben.

Sound familiar? It should. Anyone who has been in a relationship before might be familiar with the sexual honeymoon phase and how, after time, it can become much less frequent. This is actually quite common in couples, and tends to happen over time.

Happy is as happy does

But what if, like Emily and Joel, you’re both perfectly happy having sex every couple of weeks? Luckily, a lack of sexy sessions doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, just as long as you’re both satisfied with the frequency. “I would probably never tell any of my mates this, but I don’t have a super high sex drive. I feel like maybe we should be having sex more, but at the moment we’re in a routine neither of us really seem to mind”, says Joel. Just make sure you’re not convincing yourself otherwise because you don’t want to face bigger problems in the relationship.

Our libidos can come and go, and some of us just go through a bit of a lull. It becomes a bad sign, though, if you find your disinterest in having sex with your partner sticks around. If your sex life is low because feelings about your relationship have changed, that’s a cause for concern.

So how do you know which it is? A good way of nutting this out is to gauge your libido with masturbation. Basically, if you can turn yourself on when she can’t, you might have a slight problem. But fear not, this article’s not over!

I’m bringing sexy back

Here’s my sage advice: think of it like going to the movies. When was the last time you turned around and realized, “Oh, I’m in a cinema! Since I’m here, I might as well check out a movie.” In a similar vein, sex ain’t just gonna happen, so make sure you’re buying tickets to your own show. Here are three juicy tips to make sure you do just that…

Dreamt of having sex in nothing but a tie? Do it: create a sex bucket list together and make room for experimentation.
Lock lips like you’re 14-year-olds behind the bike racks. If you’ve stopped kissing each other like you did when you first met, start doing it again. It’s amazing what a classic smooch can do.
Grab her ass at the shops: take on a more “spur of the moment” attitude – don’t schedule sex in!

Put some elbow in it

Don’t sweat it too much, but a whole shebang of studies show couples who have sex on average a couple of times a week tend to be happier in their relationships. So until sex robots are invented, put on Jason Derulo and get busy as much as you damn can.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. I applaud you for seeking out ways to spice thing up again, and if you are interested in an in-depth course in this particular topic, check out my video program – Flesh on Flesh. Here you’ll discover how to rub and caress your woman’s body in every way to get her swooning, soaking, and orgasming with delight!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…
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