Unfortunately, likely due in part to the sad state of sex education all over the world, there are myths about sex – and especially about orgasms experienced by women – that just won’t die. Fortunately, I’m here to help you debunk a few of the most virulent orgasm myths. Why? Because knowledge is power, my friend.

#1 Everyone should be able to orgasm from penetration alone

Let’s finally put an end to this nonsense. Orgasm from vaginal penetration without direct clitoral stimulation is estimated to elude some 75 percent of women, and it has nothing to do with how good the sex is. It’s about the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. The closer her clit is to her vagina, the more likely penetrative sex is to make her come. If your partner needs to rub her clitoris or use a vibrator to get off during sex, there’s nothing wrong with her or with you. It’s just anatomy.

#2 Squirting isn’t real

My stained bedsheets are here to tell you that squirting is, in fact, very real. But don’t expect it to look like it does in porn. What you see in those gushing videos is pure performance and often the product of water packets inserted into the vagina pre-shoot. Researchers still don’t quite understand or agree on what the fluid released during squirting is. Some insist it’s simply urine. Others consider it its own beast, saying it contains prostate hormones similar to those found in semen. Either way, it’s a thing. And while we’re on the subject, just because some women can squirt doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those you can’t.

#3 Masturbation ruins her orgasms with you

Masturbation does not mess up her chances of coming during sex with you. In fact, the opposite is true. Touching herself and exploring her body is the best way to learn what sort of stimulation gets her off. Then, when she shares her self-knowledge with you, you too can bring her to orgasm. The more orgasms a woman has, the better she’s going to know how to get there, the more she’s going to want them, and the more she understands herself. However, I do acknowledge that some vibrators are extremely powerful, and their efficiency can distract her from all the other wonderful ways there are to have an orgasm. If your partner is consistently masturbating the same way with the same toy, she should try switching it up to diversify her orgasms and stay in touch with a fuller range of turn-ons.

#4 Women can’t get blue balls

Blue balls, pink balls, or just an annoyingly throbbing clitoris. Whatever you want to call it, women can and do experience discomfort from unresolved sexual stimulation. So you guys don’t get ownership over the sometimes agonizing feeling of unfulfilled orgasm. Arousal sends blood to the genitals, which can then swell and ache no matter what they look like.

#5 She should have multiple orgasms when she has sex

Men typically require a refractory period after orgasm before they can come again. Some women, on the other hand, can stay at a heightened level of arousal after orgasm and experience a second (or third or fourth) in rapid succession. Research suggests, though, that only about 15 percent of women have experienced multiple orgasms. It’s totally awesome that some women are capable of having them. What’s not awesome is making your partner feel down if she isn’t, because statistically speaking, it’s just not in the cards.

#6 Everyone has orgasms

If she can’t or doesn’t orgasm, she is no less capable of a hot, healthy, full sex life. Some 10 to 15 percent of women experience anorgasmia, or the inability to come. Anorgasmia may be caused by medication such as antidepressants, a history of trauma, or, frustratingly, for reasons unknown. It’s a bummer, but having it doesn’t mean she won’t at some point have an orgasm or that she can’t enjoy sex. Some women can’t get off; some women can only get off with a vibrator. We all have our own individual quirks, preferences, and abilities in the bedroom, and that’s more than okay.

#7 Sex is over when you come

Hell no. Sex is over when all parties are satisfied and ready to call it quits. If you’ve finished, you should absolutely rub her clitoris or go down on her until she’s come too, because guess what? Her pleasure matters just as much as yours.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more hot tips on how to master the art of the female orgasm, check out my program on the subject – Her Secret Hot Spots. You’ll discover the 5 secret erogenous zones that will drive her wild every night!

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Lots of women have trouble orgasming — and a lot of women can orgasm just fine but take a damn long time to do it. Now, taking a while is nothing for a woman to be embarrassed about — she should take all the time she needs and know that there’s nothing wrong with her if it takes a while to get off — and it’s partly down to the way that women are built. It can take women around 20 minutes to reach peak arousal. For men, on average, it’s rather fast — touch, a thought, something visual can do the trick. Of course it is.

But if you want her to finish faster, whether it’s to sync up with you or because you’ve got things to do and people to see, there are plenty of ways to do it — techniques, products, and general ways to explore. It’s important that you play around with different tips and find what works for you and your partner. Then, the next time you want to give her an orgasm really quickly, but you’re worried it’s going to make you late for work, you’ll be in a great position to fire one out in a hurry.

Here are the different techniques you can use, because there are so many ways to approach it.

Try plenty of foreplay

If her problem is that she’s taking a long time to orgasm during penetration — which isn’t a problem, by the way, she should take all the damn time she needs — you can speed things along by spending more time on foreplay. It not only gets her aroused — it can improve your connection too. Sex play can be just as gratifying as the rest of sex, in fact it can increase anticipation and spontaneity so that arousal and orgasm are improved, while the bonding hormone oxytocin gets released through extended touch. Oxytocin increases your sense of connection and overall wellness.

Go for blended stimulation

One is good, two is better. Seriously though, most women need that clit stimulation, but the intensity of combining it with G-spot stimulation can really get things moving. The G-spot is located two inches inside the vagina, on the topside of the vaginal wall, and has a spongy texture. To find the G-spot, insert two fingers, palm-up, with a ‘come-here’ motion, and press up against the front wall of the vagina. The G-spot responds to direct pressure. Want to try it during sex? Try shallow thrusting or woman on top positions to get the G-spot, then you or your partner can give her clit a hand.

Use lube

Lube just makes everything better. Lube revolutionizes sex lives and opens up a world of erotic possibilities. And you can go for one with a warming or tingly sensation for extra stimulation. It’s not just if she needs it — lube is totally fun as an addition to any sex experience.

Learn about her body

Want to really get a handle on how to give her an orgasm in hurry? Learn about her body. Every woman is different, and factors like the size and position of her clitoris can have a large impact on how she orgasms. Research has found that women who have a clitoris that sits closer to their vaginal opening have a greater chance of achieving orgasm than women who have a larger distance between these two body parts. The ‘rule of thumb’ states that women with an ideal distance of about one inch (or a thumb’s distance) between their vaginal opening and their clitoris will have a better chance of achieving this form of orgasm.

But everyone is different and there’s no wrong way to be built. Just utilize techniques that work for her specific anatomy.

Try a toy

Vibrators work. For a lot of my patients, they were the first way that they experienced an orgasm — or the only way they still can. Vibrators kind of level the playing field for women in the bedroom. A lot of women really need the consistent stimulation on their clitoris to have the same experience as men have. Adding one in always speeds up the process.

Try a new technique

You may be trying the sex position that works best for you— and there are a lot of sex positions out there. Practice them with your partner — you might find your own secret to a super-fast orgasm.

If you have trouble giving your partner a quick and easy orgasm, know that you’re not alone. Invest some time in finding the right toy, technique, or more about her body and you’ll be speeding things up in no time.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S.- If “Sex Toys” is a subject that has caught your attention, please check out my program Lusty Vibrations for further info.

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In my last article I taught you all about deep spot or cervical orgasms… What they are, where they are, how to find the cervix, and how cervical orgasms feel.  So, if you didn’t read Part 1 first, I advise you to do that before reading this article on how to pleasure her cervix.  You can read Part 1 here.  It’s okay.  We’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back!

How Can You Pleasure It?

Now that you know where her cervix is, you can try to pleasure her there.

Start with lots, and lots of foreplay and other types of arousal.  It can take up to 30 minutes or longer for her to get aroused enough to want to have her cervix touched.  If she is not aroused, touching the cervix can be uncomfortable or even painful.

Use gentle, slow, steady, repetitive, soft stroking, movements against the cervix.  You can try slow circles around the cervix, back and forth movements, or even just holding soft, steady pressure there.  Going too fast or hard can shut down the cervix as well and feel painful.  You can use your fingers, a dildo, or the head of your penis.

Continue to stimulate the cervix in whatever manner feels best to her.  It can take from 30-60 of steady stimulation for an orgasm to slowly build up inside of her.  Because the cervix holds a lot of tension, emotional pain, trauma and even a history of sexual abuse, she may feel tenderness, discomfort or pain.  In that case, she may need to get some sexual healing done and de-amour that area before she feels pleasure.  It may also feel numb to her, and a lot of repressed emotions may come up.  She may cry, or become very emotional.  If she wants to continue, she can try to ride through those emotions, release the tension, open up and surrender to it.  In order to do this she needs to feel complete trust with you.

With the head of your penis, give her a cervical kiss.  This is slow, sensual stimulation as you rub her cervix in a rhythmic motion, like gentle massage, to push her over the edge.  You want to use deep strokes angled towards the anterior side of the vagina, that just kiss the back wall. Use very subtle movements, stokes or circles, or stay with motionless pressure to help her build up intensity.

She may no achieve orgasm the first time you try this.  Or, the second, third or fifth.  It can take several months for a new sexual pleasure to rewire the brain, so practise and give her lots of time to make those erotic connections.  She can, and will be come multi-orgasmic over time and heal that part of her body so she feel amazing pleasure.  She may also want to practise with a jade egg to future help heal and open her vagina, so he can experience more pleasure there.

Best Positions for Cervical Orgasms

Try these two advanced positions that aid in deeper penetration so you can stimulate the cervix.

Advanced doggie style is when she lays on her stomach, with her belly propped up on a few pillows, so her butt thrusts higher than the rest of her body.  In this position, you would squat on top of her and position your penis down to hit the deep frontal wall of her vagina.  Watch out though, because hitting the deep spot may make her gush with an explosion or vaginal lubrication.

With woman on top straddling her partner, deep penetration is possible and she can position herself in exactly the right spot, while also being able to control the depth, angle, speed and force of thrusting.  This is a great position for her to move her hips back and forth on top of you, undulating her spine, so your penis gently strokes her cervix.

Obstacles to Achieving Cervical Orgasms

There may be several obstacles to her reaching orgasm via cervical stimulation that I briefly mentioned above.

These include body armoring and past traumas that may make touching that area tender or painful.  In that case you can use “sexual healing” to de-armour that area, with love, compassionate and tenderness, while you gently touch the area and she can release built up tension over time.  This is not a fast process, and takes time and patience.

Another factor is trust.  She needs to be totally vulnerable and uninhibited as she opens fully to you.  So, if she doesn’t totally trust you, or if there is unresolved issues in the relationship, that can stop her from relaxing and opening up to you, and can also block her ability to orgasm.

She also has to be completely open to experiencing pleasure, and if she has any sexual issues, these can stop her as well.  She may also have to learn how to become more orgasmic, to get out of her head, and to relax during sex, and just let go.  Using breathing techniques, vocalizing, rhythmically thrusting her pelvis and visualizing the sexual energy building and moving through her can all aid in her journey.

Summary

Remember that learning new types of sexual pleasure is about the journey.  Be patient with each other, take your time and eventually she will become more orgasmic as she learns, trusts and begins to let go.

And, there is always so much more to discover and new things you can learn about having great sex and orgasms.  So, explore, have fun, turn on, and always continue learning.

If you want to learn more about these amazing types of orgasms you may want to take my course on Her Secret Hot Spots.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

For centuries, men have been told how complicated a woman’s body is, especially sexually. And while it’s true that chicks don’t have a point-and-shoot anatomy, new research shows they have just as much pleasure potential as men.

I got my hands on some recent groundbreaking studies that debunk the long-standing conventional wisdom about female desire and response. Then I took the research one step further by explaining how to use it to tap into a new dimension of bedroom bliss.

Conventional Believe – A woman has to feel the desire to get aroused
Reality – A woman doesn’t need to be in the mood to get excited

Maybe this rings a bell: You want some action but your partner is stuck in “whatever” mode. Hey, it happens. But before you blow her off because she’s not into it, consider this: new research proves that a woman’s body can be turned on even during those moments when her mind is turned off.

That’s because desire and arousal are two separate animals. Desire occurs in the mind, while arousal unfolds in the body. True, desire usually leads to arousal, but a woman’s body doesn’t need the desire to get to that warm, tingly place. In fact, researchers at the University of Amsterdam have discovered that a woman’s central motor system lights up instantly with physical stimulation before her mind even begins to process it.

Problem is, many women think sex will be a drag if they’re not registering any interest in their brains. What to do when you’re horned up and she isn’t: zone in on her physical hot buttons. Focus on her body and help her give in to the feel of your lips against her neck or the way your hand is brushing up against her back.

Another testament that she doesn’t necessarily need the desire to relish doing the deed? One recent study found that many women experience heightened arousal when anxious or stressed.

Conventional Believe – Women take forever to get turned on
Reality – Women don’t necessarily need a long preamble to get going

Somewhere along the way, it became commonly accepted knowledge that women required hours of foreplay to get primed for sex. Now, I’m all for tons of kissing and oral, but it’s not always necessary. A new study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine claims that both men and women begin showing signs of arousal within 30 seconds. What’s more, there was little difference in how long it took women and men to reach peak sexual arousal. Researchers at McGill University in Canada had young men and women watch porn. Meanwhile, in hidden areas, scientists controlled thermal imaging sensors to measure heat changes in their genitals. They found out that men reached peaked arousal in 11 minutes, while women clocked in at 12 minutes.

Of course, this flies in the face of old arguments that claim women reach the brink in about 20 minutes. So what gives? Turns out, participants in this study watched images through special goggles to minimize their field of vision so they were less likely to be interrupted by what was happening in the room. The lesson here: when you want to get her revved up stat, you have to nix all the distractions. Women are more likely to multitask, and they tend to get rattled by a ringing phone or by overthinking what they have to do the next morning. The problem? It takes them out of the moment. So whatever you do, power down the TV and carve out time strictly for you and her to get it on.

Conventional Believe – Dry down there? She’s not feelin’ it
Reality – Lubrication isn’t the only indicator of desire and arousal

Let’s play a little word association: I say male arousal and you say erection. Unfortunately, there’s no hard-and-fast equivalent for women. Vaginal lubrication often has been viewed as the biggest cue… until now. Research has found that there’s no direct correlation between arousal and the amount of blood flow and lubrication to the vagina. She may be aroused and not have lubrication at all. Often, this is hormonal: women are naturally wetter around ovulation and drier when their periods are about to arrive. Also, antihistamines found in cold medications, for example, can sap nasal passages and vaginal secretions.

So what are the physical cues worth clueing into? Scientists at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction asked women exactly how they knew they were turned on. Although lubrication was reported as one sign, many women also reported genital warmth and swelling and nipple hardness, as well as increased heart rate and muscle tightness in the stomach and legs.

Hot embraces,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Want more powerful tips of how to get a woman aroused anytime, anywhere… Then go ahead and check out my course Vagina Masterclass

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Sudden, desperate quickies against the kitchen counter can be insanely hot, but the best sex is rich and soulful. That kind of transcendent sex where you feel completely connected to your partner — that’s what you want to be aiming for if you want to enjoy simultaneous orgasms tonight and every night. These positions harness the bonding powers of science, neurochemistry, and things that just feel amazing to bring you closer as couple. So much closer that a well-timed climax is always on the table for you.

Sexy Spoons

Even though doggy style seems raw and animalistic, when you turn it on its side — spooning-style — it magically turns sweet and loving. Snuggle up with her (she’s the little spoon) and you can gently thrust inside her from behind, drawing it out for deliciously long, leisurely boning. The prolonged contact will leave you both so lust-laden that, after a while, every little stroke will feel amazing and completely in sync. Plus, with her legs squeezed together, it’ll really feel like you’re filling her up.

Mmm Missionary

You can connect on a deeper level during missionary with affectionate touches like holding hands, wrapping her legs around you, stroking her back, running your fingers through her hair or entwining your legs with hers. Share deep kisses, long hugs, and suck on her nipples — all release oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

Soulful Scissors

In a horrible phenomenon called The Coolidge Effect, being sexually satisfied by a partner will slowly kill your desire for them. Yes, it is woefully unfair, but you can hack your stupid biological programming by not being sexuality satisfied. Which sounds horrible, but actually works. What I am basically advising you here is to start practicing edging — get completely turned on, but back off a little right before you feel like you might orgasm so you’re always on the edge. A great position for this is to start in a spooning position, then lift her top leg back over yours and turn her torso so she’s on her back, facing you, with you still inside her. Try this edging stuff for a month (if you can!) and you’ll find yourselves spending way more time in bed because you won’t be able to get enough of each other.

Simultaneous orgasm is probably the best thing there is when it comes to super-connected sex, so I applaud you for seeking out ways to achieve it. However, unless you are able to last long enough, you won’t be able to achieve this one-of-a-kind experience. So to op up your chances of coming together, I recommend you improving your endurance first. For that, here are some tips of my own. You can also check out my program on how to last longer, click here now to see his Video on how to Last Longer.

Prolonged Passion

Instead of giving her an orgasm, then passing out for the night, make the rule that neither of you can come ’til morning. Throughout the night, whenever one of you happens to wake up, give the other one a sweet kiss or a sexy rub between their legs and you can occasionally thrust a few times in her/against her. Her desire, and your erection, will ebb and flow throughout the night, but you will spend the night in a dreamy state between sleep and desire. In the morning, you won’t be able to wait to make each other come.

Tantric Lotus

Try some ancient tantric techniques for connecting deeply with your partner. Sit facing each other with her legs draped over yours. Stare into each other’s eyes and synchronize your breathing. It may be super weird at first — your legs and your soul feel way too open — but keep at it. Maintain eye contact and start touching each other gently on non-erotic zones, moving on to more dangerous areas. Have her sit on your lap, straddling you, for some long sweet kisses, then slide her onto your penis for some truly soulful sex which can only end with a simultaneous orgasm, of course.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you do what your partner to climax every time you have sex, the Reverse Cowgirl is what you need.

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Think you can’t pull a Tom Hardy move in the bedroom? You can do anything, and I’ll show you how!

Nothing is more arousing for a woman than a confident man who knows how to handle himself in the bedroom. There is a biological reason for it, actually — women are wired to be attracted to men who can handle themselves in every situation, to „providers” and „protectors”. If you become passive during foreplay, you might turn her off as she really needs to see that you are 100% as involved as she is, or even more. Even if you let her be the boss (for some women, this is very thrilling!), you still need to cooperate, even if it’s just a subtle touch, a sexy smile or some dirty talking.

However, bedroom anxiety is real for men and it can lower their sexual performances (it’s not easy to have a steady erection if you are intimidated by your partner or the situation itself). Another issue is lasting long enough to ensure that your woman enjoys her time in the sack with you. But let’s not get all negative, because you can easily turn your weaknesses into strengths.

This is your strength

Don’t put yourself down yet — despite all of the above, you have a major advantage: you are willing to learn and explore the vast universe of female pleasure. And I’ll tell you what I mean by that.

Naturally confident men think highly of themselves (especially in the bedroom!) and while that is not a bad thing, it often affects their performances without them even knowing it. They think they have all the skills in the world and fail to efficiently communicate with their partners. When you think you know it all, why bother? Well, because your “signature move” can work wonders on one women and profoundly disappoint another (click here to read the article I wrote on the complexity of women arousal). Truth is, every woman is different and your ability to adapt to her many arousing facets is the true confidence that you can manifest between the sheets. Because no matter how attractive confidence is, it can not work alone — it means nothing if what you’re doing is not making her burst into millions of tingling sensations.

That being said, your willing to learn more about what turns her on will give you enough confidence and skills to make her fantasise about your steamy encounters all day every day. Start by educating yourself. Read as much as you can about female pleasure, foreplay techniques, creative sex positions and so on — my articles can provide you with loads of informations on the matter. And information is power, don’t you forget it!

Don’t try to read her mind

Intuition might work here and there, but to really build your confidence in the bedroom you have to obtain exact data about what she wants. It’s nothing wrong with asking a few questions — actually, it’s the best thing a man can do when it comes to pleasuring his woman. Let her know how much you want to see her be dominated by pleasure. Say, “I really want to drive you crazy with pleasure. What is your favourite place to be touched?” or “Do you like it when I do this? What about this?”. This not only gives you serious insight, but also shows that you are genuinely interested in her wants and needs, and that’s incredibly flattering and reassuring for a woman (let’s be honest, a lot of men neglect the chapter of mutual satisfaction — don’t be one of them!).

As you can see, encouraging your partner to voice her desires is far more efficient than to mimic a sexual confidence that doesn’t exist. You don’t have to pretend you know everything there is to know about female pleasure. Actually, pretend you know nothing and soon enough you’ll learn so much that confidence will become your middle name!

Exchange roles

The best way to learn a new technique is if she does it to you the way she wants you to do it to her. If you’re not especially confident in your cunnilingus technique (it’s not easy, I know!) ask her to show you her favourite tongue strokes and twists while she kisses you. Now that’s a hot hot kiss! You will both immediately get turned on and, as a bonus, you will learn more about how to use your tongue when you get down between her legs.

Go slower

It’s your natural reaction to speed through whatever you are doing when you get nervous, and that is especially true in the bedroom! The thing is, rushing will make you even more anxious, which will be less pleasurable for her. Women need more time to connect with their partners and get in the mood for sex, that’s why rushing things will make them uncomfortable and moody.

Just breathe. Remember you are there to have fun, let things happen and notice how you feel — every touch, every kiss, her breath on your neck. When you slow things down, you show her trust and confidence, two of the sexiest concepts in the bedroom.

Go even further and tease her with your patience. Kiss her inner thighs, suck her delicate finger, run your fingers through her hair gently, while making eye contact. Soon enough, she’ll get so hot that she’ll beg you for more!

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Sweetheart, now that you know how to use your sexual confidence as a tool, learn more about her hottest fantasies and deepen your knowledge by checking out my video program on the matter – Dripping Wet Secrets.

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