“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex – ever. Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.” – Margaret Cho

As a red-blooded couple, you should be having scorching sex on a regular basis, right? Well, the reality is, not everyone is quite so lucky. The most common reason: couples don’t communicate with each other about their dissatisfaction in the sack. Embarrassment and a fear that something’s wrong with them keep most people from bringing up complaints. But you can’t solve the problem if you won’t even acknowledge it. The thing is, a sexual snag is usually easy to fix… first it has to be addressed. It doesn’t mean that you need to have lengthy, uncomfortable conversations either – there are other ways to impart your needs. I identify the five most common carnal crises couples face and offer my best advice on how to deal.

1. You’re not pleasing her… but you think you do. No matter how hard you try, you’re still not hitting her high notes – because you’re too fast, too slow or too far off the mark. You’re probably not bad in bed, it’s that she hasn’t let you know what you’re doing right or wrong. Men tend to stick with techniques that worked with other women, so unless she tells you otherwise, you’ll assume she likes it too. Clearly, telling you “Hey, sweetie, those moans of pleasure? Fake!” is not an option. But if she broaches the issue delicately and you help her too, you’ll have a constructive talk that will lead you both in the better direction. Or have her show you what feels good by taking your hands and bringing them to her hot spots, silently instructing on rhythm, pace and technique.
2. Her libido is higher than yours. The occasional “I’m not up for it” night happens. But some couples suffer from completely disparate sex drives. And when it’s the man who’s lacking in the lust department, it’s an even bigger issue. A large number of men have lower libidos than their girlfriends do but can’t admit it. Not being able to keep up can make some guys feel emasculated. Meanwhile, a woman with a higher libido is embarrassed by her sexuality or wonders why he’s not attracted to her. First step: rule out physical conditions. Certain medications and health issues can dampen your libido. If you’re healthy, you might just be overloaded. Men react to stress in two ways – they either become hyper-sexual because it’s the only thing that relieves their anxiety or they don’t feel like having sex at all. However, if it’s been like this from the very beginning, you need to figure out why you’re at different speeds. There is a whole variety of reasons why you might not be as amped as she is, from conservative parents to a bad sexual experience to simply the way you’re wired. For some people, achieving orgasm once a day is the norm; for others, once a week is enough. If you and your partner are just mismatched, you should try to accept the libidos biology dealt you. Then take matters into your own hands, and sometimes pleasure her manually when she’s in the mood and you’re not.
3. Technical difficulties. When your machinery malfunctions, the last thing you want to so is, gulp, talk about it. Erectile issues – from premature ejaculation to losing erection to not being able to come – are common. For men, sexual-performance issues are psychological or physiological. You might have a fear of intimacy or a troubled sexual past, but more often than not, stress, poor diet, or lack of exercise is to blame. Those kinds of temporary factors fade over time. However, if the problems are ongoing, consider seeing a sex therapist. In the meantime, the next time something arises –or rather, doesn’t – don’t freak. Instead, keep the momentum going. A lot of couples think that once the erection disappears, everything has to stop, but you can still pleasure her manually or orally. Showing her you’re capable of turning her on in other ways will make you feel better about the situation – plus, the less attention (read: pressure) you place on your penis, the more likely it is to spring back into action.
4. You’ve gotten into a rut. No, sex is never going to be like it was in the beginning. That’s because when couples first start dating, they can’t wait to try out every position and tongue trick in the book. A few years later, most long term couples have figured out which buttons to push to make their partners feel good, so they stick with what works. They may be having orgasms, but relying on the same moves can make most couples lazy about exploring. Try to revive that once-adventurous attitude. Excitement breeds excitement, so anything new will get you inspired. That might mean having sex in different rooms or adding a position into the rotation. Even though something like rock climbing or going camping might not seem like an aphrodisiac, it shakes up your usual routine, raises your endorphin levels and gets the relationship adrenaline running on high again.
5. Initiating sex falls on her. When you first start dating a woman, it seems like all you want to do is get in her panties. But once you’re in a committed relationship, you simply stop being as assertive, either because you’ve gotten bored with your sexual routine or because you don’t feel like you have to try as hard to get sex. Unfortunately, though, that might not work for your partner. Most women prefer when a man takes control during sex. That’s why it can be really annoying – and less satisfying – if she’s always the one initiating.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If sex is not as exciting as it used to be, it doesn’t mean it’s time to change relationship, it just means you should be paying more attention to some things.  I recommend you check out my program Flesh on Flesh. Discover how to rub and caress your woman’s body in every way to get her swooning, soaking, and orgasming with delight!

“My apartment is my stage, and my bedroom is my stage – they’re just not stages you’re allowed to see.” – Lady Gaga

Sure, you love those awesome massages she gives you, and you’re putty in her hands when she makes you your favorite mean. But what if I told the real way to your heart was through your, er, butt? Turns out, some experts are touting pegging as the new frontier of sexual experimentation – and the kinkiest way to improve your relationship. Yes, pegging can do what no number or boys’ nights and blowjobs can: make you into a happier, more sensitive partner.

Switching up

So what’s pegging, you ask? Let’s shine a spotlight on the sex act you probably wouldn’t ask your mum for advice: your partner using a dildo to penetrate your anus. Regardless of gender, the butt is packed with sensitive nerves. For you guys have prostate – or the male G-spot – and stimulating that can seriously rock your world.

It feels totally different to vaginal intercourse, just as G-spot sensations feel different from clitoral sensations. Orgasms involving prostate play are describes as bigger, more full-bodied. It’s a totally different experience. In other words, it’s going to feel great for you. But what does your partner get out of this? Well, this is where it gets really interesting. It’s a commonly noted side-benefit that men who have tried penetration as the receiver often become better lovers. Once they explore what it’s like to receive penetration, they often have a much better understanding of how you can be really turned on and excited, and still need to go slowly. They say it’s like learning how to give a great massage by feeling what it’s like to have one yourself. A lot of men and their partners say the result is guys more attuned to their partner’s arousal, desire and readiness.

Smash the taboos

No amount of pegging is going to turn you from a douchebag into Boyfriend of the Year, but I believe it can shift your perspective for the better. Many heterosexual men who try it discover that ideas about how men are supposed to act or enjoy sex are getting in their way. In other words, straight guys might find they don’t have to be the dominator to enjoy sex – and enjoying anal sex from the other, ahem, end doesn’t magically turn them gay. The pleasure of prostate massage and pegging can be a powerful motivator to help them redefine what it means to be a man. That can help them let go of macho ideals that often get in the way of happy relationships. If you can get to a place where you feel secure in your masculinity and don’t feel like you need to shun activities for fear of appearing feminine or gay, that opens up new possibilities.

Eric tried it and lived to tell the tale. “It was weird, scary and incredible”, he reveals. “I’ve never had such a massive and firm erection… And being able to walk around and know most couples hadn’t done it made us feel like sexual mavericks, which was invigorating.” Lila gave pegging a go when her boyfriend wanted to try anal sex. “I figured if I was going to have something up there, he should feel what it was like too,” she says. “He freaked out, but when we tried it with a strap-on he enjoyed it, and I felt really powerful. But I think we’ll just stick to fingers from now on – I found it really hard!”

Many couples found pegging increased their intimacy. Any time you discover new pleasures to experience with a partner, it can increase connection. Whether it’s a dildo or dance classes, try something different.

Have a fun week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Use lots of lube and take it slowly, just like you would do if you were doing anal with her. I recommend you check out my program Flesh on Flesh. Discover how to rub and caress your woman’s body in every way to get her swooning, soaking, and orgasming with delight!

“Nothing is either all masculine or all feminine except having sex.” – Marlo Thomas

I was sick recently – like, gross, don’t-touch-me, don’t-come-near-me, sick. My partner, bless his cotton socks, nursed me from a distance. He brought me tea and medicine but didn’t actually touch me for five days straight. Needless to say there was no rumpy-pumpy for the duration. Doing the squelchy was simply out of the question.

After a couple of days in bed by myself, I felt really despondent. It was this strange sadness I couldn’t explain… till I realized I hadn’t had physical contact with another human – not even my favorite human.

I waddled in to my partner and squeaked, “I feel weird, honey! You haven’t touched me in days and I feel like you don’t love me anymore!” He looked me up and down (I was a real saucy wench in that moment, with sickly green skin, dark bags under my eyes, and my baggiest pajamas on). And he said simply, “That’s how I feel when we don’t have sex.” That. Rocked. My. Universe. “So you need to have sexy times to know that I love you?” I asked. “But it’s the opposite for me. Before we have sex, I have to feel loved by you. Oh, this is huge! We uncovered something important here, babe.”

Real sexpertise 

That revelation changed everything. I have read in numerous books that couples in long term relationships have sex less frequently that when they first got together. And I know for a fact guys generally want sex more, which could really affect a relationship. But when I realized that our entire motives for love and sex could be that different, I felt really enlightened.

And so this phrase was born – men need to have sex to feel loved, women need to feel loved to have sex. Use it as you wish (and you’re welcome). Of course it’s not a revolutionary thought. Other sexologists have considered this evidence as well. After rummaging through a couple of books I found that backing this theory with evidence is simpler than I would have imagined. There are many reasons why women want love before sex and men want sex before love. For a start, you guys tend to see sex as more of a necessity and women see it as a nice bonus extra. Women want to talk and connect first – but for men sex is the main way to connect. It’s the language you guys use to express how you feel, and it’s also how you like to receive love from your partner.

Hormones have a lot to answer for as well. Women get a huge rush of oxytocin, which is known as the “cuddle hormone”, from sex, so they go looking for anything that bonds them with their partner. On the other hand, men produce 20 times as much testosterone as women do, which gives you constant pressure to have a sexual release. Sex offers you exactly that release, and you experience a rush of dopamine (AKA the “pleasure hormone”), which makes you feel relaxed and ready to love.

Done in 10 minutes 

So are we doomed to always confuse one another in the sack; women waiting for love and men waiting for sex? Not if you can speak up about it. One of the most frequent sexual concerns of couples in long term relationships is mismatched desire. It will cause tension, unless you talk about it. If you’ve been with your partner for a while you should be able to chat openly, and work out a balance that suits you both. Too intimidating? Here’s another interesting and helpful idea: have sex every single day. Me and my long time love take 10 minutes every day to get it on, and I reckon it’s the best way to ace that love-sex balance. You should also know that it isn’t hard for couples to have sex every day. It isn’t hard for couples to have good and great sex every day either. If you train it, it will come, they say. And this ensures that both you and your partner are happy and pleased with yourselves.

With the help of the magic sentence I mentioned earlier and the commitment for daily practice, you could have a real shot at solving the love-sex problem. Also, bear in mind that if your partner knows that you feel most loved directly after sex, she will most definitely want to be more, er, demonstrative with her love. As long as you also commit to making her feel loved before you can make love.

I would stay to talk about this longer, but I have something urgent to attend to. It should take about 10 minutes.

Have a great week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Try my technique for one month and monitor the results. You’ll see how fail-proof it actually really is. I recommend you check out my program Flesh on Flesh. Discover how to rub and caress your woman’s body in every way to get her swooning, soaking, and orgasming with delight!

“It has been a long week. I need one of those hugs that turn into sex.”

The decline and fall of the married (or committed sex life) is a myth. The truth is much hotter. Twenty-something dudes today have no idea how easy they have it when it comes to sex, with their hook-up culture and their fancy smartphones that sext. A former boyfriend of mine once walked five miles in a blizzard because I had called him up (on his house phone!) and asked if he wanted to listen to the new White Zombie CD. He didn’t even like White Zombie, but he hoped that might be code for “have sex”. It turns out he was right! Then we had to get married, because that’s how it worked back then. Just kidding, but we did end up being together for a fairly long period of time.

The young fellas today think decade-long monogamous sex lives are pretty, but they’re oh so wrong. Here are three reasons an elder guy outperforms some hipster who thinks an emoticon counts as seduction.

You’ve seen it all, and that’s a good thing

When guys are young, they’re surprisingly uptight about sex. It’s all about looking cool, trying to re-create the sex you’ve seen in movies. Nakedness is still an uncomfortably real experience. A more mature guy has probably seen everything a woman has to offer, physically: the good, the bad, the sexy and the scary. Stuff like being together when the going gets rough – for example when your partner/wife is giving birth or during a severe case of stomach flu can only bring you closer. And I mean that sexually as well. While these trials might seem like permanent mood-killers, the reality is they only loosen you up in the bedroom. Plus, you reach a point where a woman is no longer a vending machine for your very own, personal pleasures, and this makes you appreciate her body more than ever. And trust me, a woman appreciates this kind of, well, appreciation.

You want to be her trophy partner

It’s a rare man who can avoid the weight gain that comes with the stability of a tight relationship. Bt you don’t have to look into the void and completely lose control of your body. Even though there will be times when you see yourself as a bloated, out-of-shape man, there’s always the other option: busting your ass in the gym. Instead of being all about doughnuts, cheese fries, and whiskey, you can be all about crunches, plank positions, and the dreaded side-plank moves. We all love fatty food, but we love athletic sex even more – and you’ll be surprised to find yourself at a point where you can do things that you couldn’t do in your twenties. Rest assured, those planks will eventually come in handy during intercourse. In the best of ways.

You’ve finally learned that it’s quality, not quantity

Say what you will about how hard it is to have a decent sex life during the post-honeymoon years, when you know each other so well it’s hard to find excitement everywhere, like you used to when you first started going out together – but you can always lock the house you both leave in and escape for a week-end of lazying around and doing it when you feel like it, in between watching your favorite TV show. What I’m trying to say is that now, finally, you have enough time to fully appreciate intimacy. For instance, you rediscover the pleasure of a by-the-book foreplay routine, a thing which is practically non-existent in the sex lives of the twenty-somethings of today. So buckle up and be grateful you’ve got all this experience behind you. Sex is finally that much better than you’ve ever imagined it could be. Bonus points: women are much easier to turn on and more open to kinkiness and fantasies of all sorts.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Do you find yourself envying your younger self? Are you sure you’re remembering those times correctly? Take a minute to compare your sex life now as opposed to then. From a quality standpoint, of course. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about erotic massage CLICK HERE NOW!

“If you like having sex while listening to music – always choose a live album. That way you’ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.”

Too wiped to do it after a long day of doing, well, everything else? Here are seven easy ways to get in the mood.

Dress to impress… yourself

When you start your day by slipping on an outfit that makes you feel sexy, your brain realizes you’re prepping for what scientists call a “mating opportunity” and begins pumping the pleasure hormone dopamine into your bloodstream. The secret? It’s not just about attracting someone – real sexiness is the total confidence that can make you feel smarter, funnier and better in every area of your life. Strive to be a bit more like that and you’ll see that your sex life will change for the better as well.

Do your “choreplay”

That would be the dishes, the laundry… It may sound silly, but leaving household tasks undone can add to your stress load – and according to research from the University of Texas at Austin, chronic stress and anxiety can dampen your body’s arousal response by up to 30% even when you want to be turned on. If you are really stressed out and doing the dishes no longer cuts it for you, take an art class or book a last-minute weekend getaway. Why is getting out of town helping you? Because novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac. When you live in the moment, anything is possible – and that’s exciting, and sexy.

Switch on your senses

Your mouth is an easy to stimulate erogenous zone. I’d suggest gently teasing your lips with your fingers throughout the day, imagining your fingers are your partner’s lips. Also, after a hot shower, massage your body with that great smelling lotion your partner swears by. Or have her give you a relaxing neck rub. Brushing your skin with a soft brush every morning when you wake up might help as well. Natural health advocates believe that dry brushing reduces toxins and sloughs off dry skin, making you feel more refreshed and thus more ready and energized.

Take a lunchtime yoga class with your partner

In a Korean study, women who did yoga for 12 weeks reported easier arousal and better lubrication, on average, than those women who didn’t do exercise. Yoga can increase blood flow to both a woman’s and a man’s genitals, while cultivating mindfulness can help you be more in the moment during sex. Also, if you’re thinking about having sex tonight, wear a shirt to work. This way when you get back from your job and your partner is helping you unbutton it things will naturally turn into a striptease as she lingers over each button.

Find literary inspiration

Dipping into the latest bodice-ripper during a break on your commute home gets your brain and body ready for sex. For a red-hot library, log on to obooko.com, which lets you download as many free romance e-books as your um, heart desires. To amp it up, read it in your lunch hours, at the café where you eat your sandwich. Just knowing that you’re reading something risqué in public is sure to give you a teeny confidence boost. Plus, erotic novels will give you ideas. You are bound to respond to stories that fire up your imagination.

Chow down on libido boosters

Salmon, spinach and nuts all contain arginine, which increases blood flow, nutritionists say. Wine helps too: Italian researchers found that men and women who drank one to two glasses of red wine reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication than those who didn’t have any at all or had more than two glasses of wine or other alcoholic drinks. And nibble on chocolate for dessert: it stimulates the release of endorphins.

Get steamy in a hot shower

The heat will improve circulation and relax your muscles. It also brings blood to the skin’s surface, which will make it more receptive to touch. If you’re enjoying a hot shower together, how about not having sex right then and there and just… flirt! Honestly, when was the last time you really doted on your woman? Forever ago? Well, pretend she’s a new fling and chuckle at her jokes, suggestively touch her knees and make sexy comments. You’ll feel confident – the way you did when you first started dating.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Get closer! Snuggling prompts the release of the love hormone oxytocin. I recommend you check out my program Vagina Masterclass.

Any man who has studied up on pleasing a woman knows that everything leading up to sex is just as important… scratch that… MORE important than the main event. What you do and how she gets turned on will directly affect how much she enjoys sex and how powerful her orgasm is. There are tons of ways to get her turned on and worked up for sex, but one of my all time favorites is the erotic massage. Massage is something that feels amazing, if done right. It’s fantastic foreplay for women because it’s slow and sensual. You can’t rush through a massage, you have to take your time. This allows her to get extremely turned on until she is practically begging you to flip her over (or not ) and take it to the next level.

Erotic massage is not as simple as it sounds. Actually, regular massage isn’t always as simple as you think if you want to make it really amazing, but follow these instructions and your partner will be begging you to do this all the time.

The preparation:

• Your hands should be soft and your nails should be trimmed and filed (to make sure there are no rough edges). Moisturize your hands beforehand. If you feel rough, scratchy calluses on your inner arm when you run your hand over it, she will also feel that on the soft parts of her body.

• Pick a great massage oil. You have a few options here, but whatever you end up choosing needs to be amazing. Having a good massage oil is like have good lube: super important. One option is to use a water-based massage oil (without Nonoxynol-9 added). This lubricates and slides over the body well. You can also opt for an edible oil so that you can feel free to massage her with your mouth and tongue without switch oils, but make sure that your edible option is just as slick and smooth and doesn’t get tacky and sticky as you massage. When in a pinch you can also use lotion, but you will have to reapply a lot more with lotion than with a massage oil. Keeping her well oiled up so that your hands slide easily over her body is absolutely KEY to success.

• Heat your chosen massage oil by letting it sit in a bowl of warm water next to the bed. You don’t want to surprise her or make her tense up by squirting a bunch of cool oil onto her body. Every part of this massage needs to be well thought out.

• Set the mood. Dim the lights, or better yet, turn them off completely and light enough candles so that you can see each other. If possible, set the temperature in the room a little warmer than usual so that she won’t be cold when she is lying there naked at first. She’ll be heating up in no time, anyway! Burn some incense, a scented candle, or some scented oil. Sense of smell is just as important in this process. Make sure you pick a scent that she loves. Try lavender, which is known to be relaxing and sensual. Put on some light and quiet music in the background.

• Think of everything. Put something to drink by the bedside table. Make sure the sheets are soft and clean. Turn your cell phones off and take the home phone off the hook. You don’t want anything to distract her for the next hour. Make sure the bedroom is clean and uncluttered. Have everything you need on the bedside table within arms reach.  

I hate to leave you hanging here, but there just isn’t enough time to get into all that goes into an amazing erotic massage, so you will have to stay tuned! Believe me, good preparation for your erotic massage is very important. Just like amazing foreplay leads to great sex, amazing prep leads to an amazing erotic massage, leads to mind-blowing sex! In the upcoming post I’ll tell you all about the nitty gritty details of where and how to touch her.

Big kisses!
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Keep an eye out for the second part of this article coming very soon! I recommend you check my program Vagina Masterclass… 

Honey, if you haven’t already checked out the first part of this article then I suggest you click over to it immediately! Lots of guys think they can skip certain steps and take the easy way when it comes to pleasing a woman, but if you want to do it right then you’ll pay attention to the details and put in 100%. Believe me, you’ll be thankful that you when you’re reaping the benefits of the results.

Erotic massage is an amazing form of foreplay that will not only get your partner relaxed and feeling amazing, but it will slowly and sensually drive her wild with desire. Once you have everything prepared as I instructed in the first article, you’re ready to move on to the fun, “interactive” part.

The technique:

• She should be naked. Obviously, right? Well, you should be too. There will be a lot of skin to skin contact as the massage goes on. She should be facing down to begin with and cover her with a sheet, just like in a real massage situation. Believe it or not, this little gesture will also help to build up her desire. Remember, it’s all about the slow build up.
• Put some massage oil in your hands and rub them together to make sure it’s warm enough. Don’t be afraid to use a good amount of oil. You want your hands to slide easily over her body.
• Start on her shoulders, neck and arms. Be careful with the amount of pressure you use. Don’t use too much. She’s not a man and this isn’t a deep tissue sports massage, but on the other hand you want the massage to make an impact. Since everyone is different in their preferences, your best bet is to ask. Say something like, “is this amount of pressure okay?” “do you want me to go harder or softer?” Use your whole hand when massaging her to avoid tickling or putting uncomfortable pressure on a sore spot. Go slowly and rhythmically over her neck, shoulders and up and down her arms. Don’t break contact and don’t go too fast.
• Slowly lower the sheet down to just above her butt, maybe even revealing a little bit of it. Begin to make your strokes longer and deeper, don’t be afraid to allow other parts of your body make contact with hers as you work, but make sure that you don’t make it about you. In other words, it’s sexy if she feels your rock hard erection and your chest pressing up against her butt as your stroking her, but don’t turn it into a dry humping session. Give her a taste of that sensation and then move on. Apart from your hands massaging, your skin should be brushing against her suggestively, not pounding away.
• Before moving any lower, take some time with some of my favorite erogenous zones, the neck, ears, and back and kiss and lick your way around sensually. Run your hands along the sides of her breasts as you kiss and lick the back and side of her neck. Then slowly make your way down.
• Now you’re ready to continue to lower that pesky sheet. In fact, toss it off altogether. Make sure you still have plenty of oil on your hands and on her body. Begin to work your hands down lower and lower, slowly kneading her butt and slipping your fingers down ever so close to her vulva, but not quite there. This is teasing at it’s finest and it will drive her crazy. Slowly open her legs enough so that you can have access to massage her inner thighs. You can slowly sweep your hands up her thighs, just slightly making contact with her vulva each time, but not giving it too much attention. Believe me, that kind of teasing will get her 100 times hotter than going straight in for it.
• Now it’s time for the other side. Have her flip over, which will give you access to her stomach and breasts. Get some more oil heated up on your hands and begin up on her shoulders and the part of her chest just above her breasts. Make her wait a little bit for it, then make your way down to massage her breasts and nipples. Linger there for a little while and then move on.
• Don’t forget that you can massage with your mouth as well as your hands. Now that you have her facing up you can kiss her all over and lick her from her nipples all the way down to her inner thighs. Avoid the vulva though, you’re still building up that sexual tension. Repeat the same teasing thigh massage you did when she was facing down, only this time allow your hand to graze over her vulva and clit each time you massage upward.
• That last trick will definitely lead to something more. Let it. Begin slowly exploring her vulva and clitoris with each stroke. Maybe it’s time to get your mouth involved here, or maybe you’re ready to explode as well and want to get in on the action. Now it’s your choice where to take it next, but just because the massage is over doesn’t mean you should change up the vibe or the pace. Keep it slow and sensual until she shows you she wants otherwise.

Well, that was fun! I promise you, coming from a woman’s perspective, this sounds nothing short of amazing. Try it tonight guys! And let me know how it went in the comments section.

XOXO,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Should you like to learn more about Oral Sex, click here.

Touching your partner is about so much more than just sex. Massage feels amazing and it can put a stressed out and tuned out partner in the mood for something more. One of the best massages to master is the tantric massage.

To prepare you should make sure you have set the mood where you will be giving her the massage. The temperature should be comfortable to warm since she will be naked. Light a scented candle. Put on soft, relaxing music. Dim the lights or use more candles for lighting. These might seem like cliché things to do, but they are common because they are really relaxing and go a long way in setting the right mood.

Although with most kinds of massage you can use a variety of different kinds of lubrication, for tantric massage you should use oil. If you and your partner use condoms, make sure that the oil that you choose doesn’t interfere with and break down the latex in the condom.

In tantric massage and sex there is no rush. In fact going slow and enjoying the moment is an important part of the whole experience. So, naturally you’re not going to want to rush through any part of this massage, even the parts that seemingly focus on non-sexual body parts. The truth is that these parts are just as important and can be just as sensual and sexual.

Your partner should first being lying flat on her stomach on the bed. You can use a light sheet to cover the part of her body that you’re not massaging or she can be fully nude. It depends on how comfortable she feels. You want her to be fully relaxed and focused on the sensations she’s feeling in the moment. If she is concerned with other things going on at the moment, she won’t get the full experience of a tantric massage.

* Heat the massage oil by rubbing your hands together. Remember to continuously add more oil if necessary throughout the massage. Start by placing your hands firmly on her lower back. Slowly and firmly slide them up her back to her neck and then glide them over her shoulders and back down her back, over her butt cheeks and then sliding your hands between her butt crack. This should all be done in one continuous sensual movement, not necessarily pausing in one area more than any other.

* Put your hands parallel to one another and slide your hands firmly up her spine. Make your way once again up to her neck and then move down her shoulders, but this time continue the motion down each arm instead of back down to her butt. Repeat this several times.

* While your partner is still lying face down try lifting each side of her body to give her mini stretches. Start by using both hands to gently, but firmly lift one hip up toward her spine (think of a mini-twist). Then always repeat this action on the other side. You can also do this at your partner’s waist, chest and shoulders.

* Always check in with your partner about whether or not the amount of pressure is okay because many times one person might prefer more or less. Try using an extremely light touch to caress and stroke her body. Think of it as a featherlight touch. Run the tips of your fingers slowly over her body. Make small circles on her back, backside and down her arms. Slowly make the circles bigger and bigger. Do this for at least 5 minutes.

* Use the same sweeping and gliding technique now focusing on her legs and feet. Do one leg at a time starting at her calf and working your way up her thigh. Make sure your movements are slow, have just the amount of pressure that she likes, and are one continuous sensual movement. When you move on to her feet, give each one your full attention, paying attention to the heel, the arch and the toes. Rub between her toes and gently pull each one away from the body. Always remember when moving on to massage a new part of the body that you should be applying more oil each time.

* Have your partner finally flip over in order to massage her stomach and breasts. Remember that this requires a much lighter touch than you used on previous body parts. You will use the same motions you did with the other areas of her body. Place your hands gently on her stomach, over her belly button, and slowly slide your hands up her body, sweeping them over her breasts and nipples and then down to the belly again. Repeat this various times.

After this incredible tantric massage, who knows where you and your partner will take things, but one thing is for sure, she will be in heaven.

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

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