After the release of the book series 50 Shades of Grey and the movie release, many men and women who otherwise knew very little about BDSM had their interest peaked. Before this, BDSM was something that many people either knew absolutely nothing about or they had very low opinions about it (many times because they knew nothing about it!). Whether or not 50 Shades is an accurate or healthy portrayal of BDSM is another debate, but one thing is for sure, more couples are showing interest in introducing some kink into their sexual relationships. That’s where I come in. If you knew nothing about BDSM before, it’s time to learn a little before throwing yourself in head first. What might seem like a kinky free for all, is actually nothing of the sort. Couples and individuals who practice BDSM are often more sexually responsible than their non-kinky counterparts because they have to be. The rules have to be set and clear in order for people to trust in their partner and enjoy themselves. Here’s how to get started:

*Remember that* 50 Shades and other forms of erotica or pornography are fiction. Because they are fiction, the writer needs to make the story more interesting and exciting to the reader. Often times being responsible is not a sexy part of erotica, so it just gets left out, or assumed.

Communication and Trust

In true BDSM communication and trust are absolute essentials. For example, during play a couple might decide that the word “no” doesn’t actually mean no, but in order to agree on this safely, the couple will use a safe word (or another word that means stop or no that they can use if things are getting too intense). They will also have outlined what they are okay with and what they are not okay with before starting. For example, one person is okay with spanking, but not okay with whipping. If one person is not okay with something that the other person is okay with, it automatically is eliminated from the play.

Submissive doesn’t mean weak

Many people who know nothing of BDSM think that the submissive person in a dominant/submissive relationship is the weak person. That actually isn’t true at all. A submissive just gets off on giving up their control to a trusted partner for a period of time that is well mapped out by the couple. Some submissives could be the toughest, most no-nonsense people you know. That might even be why giving up the control is so sexy!

Take it slow

Start with a few things that interest you and don’t feel the need to jump into the deep end. Do your research about BDSM on reliable websites in order to learn how it really works. Experiment with your partner and then communicate about what you like and don’t like. If you’re both new to it then you will need to do a lot of communicating to make sure both of you are happy and comfortable with what is happening.

BDSM relationships are not what you might think

From the outside you might think that a BDSM relationship is not loving and movies like 50 Shades don’t help to portray those relationships accurately. The truth is that those relationships can be extremely loving but they don’t necessarily have to be either. Some people engage in a BDSM relationship that are not in love too.

There is a lot to learn

There is a lot to BDSM play and there is a lot of information out there on the internet. There are websites, books and programs from people who know their stuff and are eager to teach those who want to learn. Make sure you do your research and learn, not only what BDSM is all about, but also about how to safely do different acts and use certain toys and tools.

Start with… If you’re completely new to kink, try some of these toys:

* silk scarves – You can use these to slide over and tickle her body, then use them to tie her wrists together or her wrists and ankles to the bed posts.

* spanking paddle – There are many kinds of paddles out there. Choose something more modest in the beginning and give her light spankings and rub and massage the spot after each spank.

* blindfold – increase her arousal and sensation by using one of those silk scarves to blindfold her.

Have fun!
Fidan Paula

P.S. To learn also how to last longer in bed, click here to watch my Last Longer Tonight program. 

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One of the hottest fantasies that both men and women share is getting it on in a public place. Almost everyone has fantasized about sex in public at least once or twice, many have considered it in the heat of the moment, and other braver souls have accomplished it. What about you, my sexy reader? A lot of people are dying to fulfill this one. The excitement of exhibitionism and the naughty risk of being discovered only heightens the arousal and pleasure of sex! But when it comes down to exactly how to make this one come true, many are too scared to pull it off. Today I’m going to share with you the best places to get busy in public and how to pull it off without getting caught!

1. The Great Outdoors

There’s something about having sex with the earth under your bodies and the sky above you that is just an extra added turn on. It’s easy to find secluded spots while camping, hiking, or just passing by some woods in your car. You don’t even need to go too far to find a quiet and private place. The closeness of passersby will provide added excitement! Here are a few tips to make it happen:

– Know your partner. If you’re with a super girly girl who hates camping, sweating, and anything outdoorsy, this is not your outside sex location.

– Come prepared. The great outdoors offers a lot of options for hot sex positions, but you’re going to want to bring a blanket to put down if you expect her to be dropping her panties for you.

– Consider the weather. Rain? Sunshine? Freezing temperatures? Come prepared or if the weather is really harsh, plan your tryst for another day.

2. Out Shopping

Not to stereotype here, but most men hate shopping and most women love it. However, if the next time your partner wants you to come on a shopping trip with her you have the chance to get some action along the way, you might find yourself reconsidering your answer. Here’s how to make this hot fantasy come true.

– Location is key. You need a fitting room that’s not controlled by a store clerk, preferably one that has doors that go all the way down to the floor. Think: Department Store fitting room. Also, pick a department where there aren’t many people trying things on. You might even opt for the men’s fitting room, considering that men are less likely to try things on and it wouldn’t draw a lot of attention for you to have your partner there with you to “see how everything is fitting.” *wink*wink*

3. Public Bathroom

These days you can often find a “family bathroom” stall, which is essentially a large private bathroom that is for people with kids to use. It’s separate from the other bathrooms so you don’t have to worry about sneaking into the girls room or vice versa. These can be found in a ton of different places, like malls, movie theaters, airports, etc.

4. The Mile High Club

We’ve all dreamed about becoming members of this elite club, but airline staff, knowing this, aren’t too keen to make it easy on you. Here’s your best plan for making it happen:

– Do it on an overnight flight, and if at all possible, an international one. In the middle of the plane there is a set of bathrooms that isn’t close to any flight attendant station. At night when everyone else is sleeping is your chance to slip into those bathrooms. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the most ideal place to have sex. An airplane bathroom is tiny and probably not the cleanest place in the world. Nevertheless, if this is your fantasy you can make it work. Try standing doggy style with one of her legs propped up on the toilet seat.

5. Foreplay in Public

When you can’t have full on sex in public, there are still a lot of places and ways to get foreplay going before heading off to a more private place to finish the act. A skirt and a strategically placed jacket can give you easy access to her nether regions in any movie theater, bar, or restaurant. The same applies to you. She can slip her hand under a jacket and with one quick move, your pants are unzipped and she’s in.

Forbidden play is often the most exciting and enticing! Have fun!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. For an in-depth guide on how to become a Vagina Master, check out my Vagina Masterclass course. 

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Have you ever heard of a bucket list? Well, it’s a list of things you want to do before you die. It shouldn’t sound morbid, it’s actually a great way to make sure you realize some of your life’s dreams and goals. On your typical bucket list you might find things like: visit Antarctica, climb Mount Everest, reunite with my childhood best friend, make a million dollars before age 65, etc. Well, today we’re going to talk about a bucket list that is a little more racy than your typical one. It’s a sexual bucket list. Sexual things you want to do before you go.

A sexual bucket list is not only a fun challenge for you, it is also an amazing way to get ideas for how to improve your sexual relationship with your partner. If you feel like things have been in a rut lately, do new and different things is a great way to propel yourself right out of that funk. If you’re currently single, a sexual bucket list can take on a new meaning and include things that the relationship list might not have.

Keep in mind with this kind of list that the idea isn’t to complete it in one month. The list might take some time. You might add things along the way and take other things off without completing them. If you’re in a relationship you have to remember that all things on the list are subject to your partner’s approval. It’s a fun way to spice things up and keep things interesting in your relationship. A bucket list is meant to take time to complete, so enjoy it, don’t rush it!

Today I’m going to share a sample bucket list with you to get some ideas flowing. A fun way to share this with your partner is for each of you to separately make your own list and then get together to share what you’ve written. It’s a great way to learn about your partner’s secret fantasies or what she really loves to do. Another idea is to make a couple’s list together. Both ideas are great, but making them separately allows you to really be open about things you want to try.

Here is my sample list, some things will be on the tame side, others will be much more racy. Take from it what you like and leave what you don’t!

1. Have sex vacation weekend where you have sex at least 10 times in one weekend

2. Have sex in a jacuzzi

3. Have sex in a parking lot (car optional!)

4. Visit a swingers club (you don’t have to participate, you can just watch if you want!)

5. Have sex on a sex swing

6. Visit a strip club together and get a lap dance for both of you

7. Give her multiple orgasms

8. Devote an entire day to just pleasing her: think oral sex, erotic massages, drawing her a hot bath, cooking or ordering her favorite meals.

9. Have her devote an entire day to just pleasing you: you get to set the rules with this one!

10. Find her g-spot and try giving her a G spot orgasm

11. Have sex in a rain storm

12. Have a quickie in a bathroom

13. Have foreplay sex while blindfolded

14. Watch pornography together

15. Try anal sex

16. Have sex on a boat

17. Watch each other masturbate to completion

18. Have sex on the beach

19. Give her oral sex every day for a week

20. Have sex in a one hour motel

21. Have sex in the woods

22. Go shopping at a sex toy shop together

23. Practice role playing scenarios

24. Get a couples massage (while this isn’t sexual in nature, it can be a great way to relax and reconnect as a couple. When you get home from the massage you can ravage each other!)

25. Join the mile high club

26. Have phone sex

27. Have video chat sex

28. Make a “home video” (AKA sex tape!)

29. Experiment with bonage (tie eachother up)

30. Take a class on giving massages

31. Have sex in a public place

32. Have oral sex in a public place

33. Go skinny dipping with your partner

34. Have sex with food involved

35. Look at internet porn together

36. Read each other erotic stories aloud

37. Have sex in an elevator

38. Use a new sex toy

39. Have anal sex

40. Allow her to dominate you for a night

41. Dominate her for a night

42. Touch each other under the dinner table out at a restaurant

43. Spend an entire day naked together

44. Go lingerie shopping together

45. Use ice on each other’s bodies

46. Have sex in someone else’s bed

47. Have sex in your childhood bedroom

48. Have sex in your place of work or hers

49. Have sex when there are a lot of people around who could catch you

50. Realize a personal fantasy

Have fun adding to the list!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques on how to last longer CLICK HERE NOW!

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Have you ever heard the baseball analogy of sex? I’m sure you have. Depending on who you ask, 1st base is kissing, 2nd base is feeling up her breasts, 3rd base is usually a hand job and fingering, and a home run is, of course, penetrative intercourse. These were probably the terms that you used when you were kids to talk about something that was too embarrassing to discuss using the proper language. That’s fine, but what about now that we’re older? There are still some people out there that think about sex in these terms. Penetrative sex is the home run, the best, the only thing you’re really working toward. No matter how much you love it, what’s the problem with this? The problem is that sex is NOTHING like baseball. It shouldn’t be defined in such terms because it robs it of all the amazing things sexual intimacy can be. Penetrative sex isn’t the only home run, there are TONS of ways to get a home run.

It seems that at some point we get older and we start to think that penetrative sex is what grown ups do. All that foreplay and handjobs and fingering is for kids who haven’t had sex yet. Right?! WRONG! All of those things are what makes sex amazing. It doesn’t have to be “foreplay” necessarily either, it can be the main event. It’s time to expand the way you think about your sexuality, so today we’re going to discuss ways to have sex other than penetration (yes, it’s sex even if your penis doesn’t enter her vagina!).

1. The Long Lost Handjob/Fingering

More than any other act most people tend to associate handjobs and fingering with their pre-penetrative sex life. When they think of these two sexual acts, they think of themselves as kids, maybe getting naughty under a blanket in their parents’ basement. Well, forget about that association right now! When you give her manual stimulation remember that most women don’t cum from fingering alone, so you need to also be stimulating the clitoris. In fact, you should try focusing most of your effort on massaging the clit and then fingering her throughout that process, but the main focus here is on the clit. You can also use your mouth to kiss her passionately and deeply on the mouth and all over her neck, ears and shoulders (three amazing erogenous zones!). Let the focus be all on her this time. If she reaches out to return the favor, take her hand away and let her know she’ll have time to reciprocate after if she wants to. And don’t shy away from the handjob. It may have been a long time since you received one from anyone other than yourself. But a hand full of warm lube and a sexy women suckling on your neck while rubbing you sensually doesn’t sound half bad, does it?

2. OH – MY – GOD Oral

I’m sure many of you love using oral sex as a warm up for penetrative sex. Oral sex is great and feels SO amazing. But sometimes you should just stop all the other stuff and focus on giving her an amazing orgasm using oral sex and nothing else (well, maybe a little fingering in there couldn’t hurt!). Just like the fingering technique above, make this all about her. Think about it, wouldn’t you just love it if she surprised you with an amazing blow job and she didn’t want you to do anything in return? Treat her to that and maybe you’ll get that surprise blow job when you’re least expecting it!

3. Erotic Massage for Two

If you haven’t already, go invest in some massage supplies. This should include a nice massage oil and some massage balls and wands. Remember that being sexual and intimate with each other doesn’t even have to include orgasms all the time. An erotic massage is an incredible way to connect with your partner and make her feel really good. Give her this gift of pleasure without expecting anything in return and without expecting it to escalate into anything more than just a sexy massage. There should be no pressure. The added bonus here is that sometimes your massage session is going to turn into more than that, but it shouldn’t be expected or that ruins all the fun!

One of the big mistakes we make these days with our sexual relationships is being too rigid. We think every act needs to lead to and end with orgasm, when in fact our focus should be on pleasure and pleasure alone. Whether that pleasure includes orgasm or not isn’t important. Let’s take the pressure off for a bit and just enjoy each other!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to know how to give your woman indescribable pleasure in her vagina, clitoris, and GSpot? I’ll give you the answer through my latest program, Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

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Some think that we are at our most vulnerable when we’re in the nude. Others are never more comfortable when they’re in their most “natural state.” Either way, a lot of men wonder what their partners really think when they’re naked in front of them. We all know women tend to worry about how they look (clothed and naked), but men also have their concerns about these things. Want to know what’s inside her head? Check out this list of the top things women think about when they see you in the buff:

* First of all, it’s important to know that women don’t get turned on by the naked body like men do. Men tend to be much more visual than women. Women will get turned on more by what’s going on in her head and actual physical sensations than just the sight of your naked body. Don’t take it personally because it really has nothing to do with how attractive she finds you.

* Your scent – Even before you disrobe, your scent will leaving a lasting impression on you. If you smell great, it can be a fantastic aphrodisiac. If you smell bad, it can be a complete turn off. First check your breath. You don’t want to have bad breath because your mouth is about to be all over her body. Next think about your body odor. Underarm odor and that odor between your legs both will play a role in whether she’s turned on or turned off by you. A lot of guys will be tempted to douse themselves in their favorite cologne, but this isn’t your best move. Your natural scent has pheromones, which are one of the things that establishes her attraction to you. If your natural scent is masked by too much cologne, she won’t be able to assess this. It’s best to go with a scented body wash, deodorant, and if you really like it, a very light spritz of cologne. Remember that some people have extremely sensitive noses, so it might be a good idea to ask her if she likes your cologne before buying a new bottle.

* Your grooming habits – Not only will she expect you to be clean (obviously), but she is also likely checking out your man parts to see if you do any grooming. You don’t need to join her at the salon to get a Brazilian bikini wax, but trimming your hair down there is probably a good idea and considerate, especially if she’s giving you oral.

* Your undies – Just like you certainly pay attention to what she has on in the lingerie department, she also notices and appreciates your underwear. Ask her if she likes boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs and even bring her along the next time you need a few new pairs.

* Your hands – This is probably the last thing you imagined she was looking at, but think about it for a minute. Your hands are all over her and even inside her. She’s going to have a look and a feel to see if they’re clean, soft and in good shape. Try using hand lotion every day to make your hands a little softer for her. To exfoliate them you can even throw a spoonful of sugar into your hands the next time you’re soaping them up. A lot of women find a man’s hands powerful and sexy. They don’t have to be as soft as hers, but you should try to avoid hangnails, jagged fingernails that scratch, and callouses.

* Your penis – Of course she’s looking at your penis!!! She’s checking out how hard you are and how big you are. Don’t worry too much about this though. Not all women want a big penis, your size no matter what it is, needs to just be right for HER. If you don’t have an erection yet, just let her know that it’s not because of her. Some women might get upset thinking that they’re not turning you on if they can’t see the physical result. Once you’re there, looking is good, but feeling is even better. It might be a huge turn on for her to wrap her hand around your penis and feel just how much you want her.

* How she looks – Many women, as much as they do pay attention to certain details of your body, are more focused on how they look than how you look. She might be looking for clues that you find her sexy and attractive. She might be worrying about some of her insecurities. Try to set her mind at ease by telling her how sexy she is and complimenting your favorite things about her when you’re in bed together.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To learn how to last longer tonight CLICK HERE NOW!

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If you’ve learned anything from my articles you know that there are many different kinds of sex and ways to be sexual with your partner. Often times we focus on how to slow down, take your time and fully enjoy every sensation with your partner. While some of the best orgasms you’re likely to have can result from slow, sensual, in the moment sex, there is also something incredible about the quickie! The truth is that we don’t always have the time to make sweet, slow love… and this is where the quickie comes in.

The quickie can be HOT and satisfy your sexual needs in record time, but you also want to make sure your partner feels the same. There truly is an art to the quickie. You do it right and it’s magical, do it wrong and you’ll have a frustrated woman on your hands. Here are the dos and don’ts:

* DO – Make quickies the exception not the rule. Quickies should happen every once in awhile and be a fun extra thing you do with your partner, it shouldn’t be the kind of sex you have all the time.

* DO – Find a way to get her hot beforehand. Foreplay is still important here. You might be ready to have sex with just one sexy thought, but she definitely isn’t. Try warming her up with a naughty text message. When you’re with her and you’re ready to go, don’t reach right between her legs. Instead, come up behind her, sweep her hair to the side and begin kissing the back of her neck while you massage her shoulders. Press your body into hers. Whisper some sexy words in her ear and reach around and begin touching her body.

* DO – Use the element of surprise. It can be a big turn on to have sex in a place where you normally wouldn’t. It doesn’t have to be out of the house either. You could surprise her in the bathroom, in the laundry room, the kitchen… pretty much anywhere that isn’t a normal place you have sex. This adds an element of excitement to the quickie that allows you both to get off easier.

* DON’T – Don’t have a quickie in your bed right before going to sleep. Make the quickie something special and naughty. A quickie in bed is just really fast sex. Change up the time you have sex when you’re having a quickie. Try right when you come home from work, in the middle of the day on a weekend, on a break from work, or first thing in the morning.

* DO – Make it more than 2 minutes, but less than five. It needs to be quick, but not THAT quick.

* DO – Pick a position that she’s going to be comfortable in and that you are able to stimulate her clit. You want her to get off too!

* DON’T – Have a closed mind when it comes to a “quickie.” It doesn’t have to be just intercourse. A quickie can be any quick sexual activity. Why not toss her up on the kitchen counter, get on your knees and give her the best oral of her life? Or have a hot make out session in an elevator? When you’re done you can whisper that you’ll finish what you started later that night. If the quickie isn’t just focused on your pleasure then she will be much more open to it. Who knows? You might be the one getting surprise oral in the kitchen next time!

* DO – Realize that you and/or your partner might not have an orgasm. That’s okay. It’s a risk when it comes to the quickie, but the idea is that you’re intimate with each other and you connect. If your partner seems frustrated about not climaxing, you can always go down on her later that night when you have more time.

Quickies can be a fantastic way to connect with each other when you don’t have a lot of time on your hands. They can also be a fun way to spice things up. If you’re stuck in a routine of the same kind of sex all the time, a quickie at a different time and in a surprise location can really reignite that fire! Quickies can reduce stress and make you worry a lot less about your sexual performance. There’s less pressure! Finally, it’ll put a smile on your face and put you in a great mood to continue the rest of your day. Everyone will be wondering… what’s he grinning about?!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques to make her come CLICK HERE NOW!

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Sometimes it’s hard to know what to believe when it comes to reading about sex advice on the Internet. There is so much information out there, so how does one know what advice to follow and what advice to disregard?

One sure way to get the best advice is to go to a trusted website with an expert who knows his or her stuff. For example, when it comes to the information you find here on my website, you know you can trust it because of my extensive work teaching couples about sex for over 10 years. But what about all that other stuff you come across?

Today I’m bringing you 11 sex tips that are actually backed by scientific research. These tips have studies to back them up! Check out the list:

1. Getting sun can boost your libido, for both men and women! Research has shown that sun exposure increases your testosterone, which also increases your desire for sex. This is because sunlight boosts your vitamin D levels, which in turn boosts your testosterone levels. So, make sure you get out of the house and get fresh air with your partner. Don’t forget the sunscreen though, it’s still important to protect yourselves from harmful rays.

2. Let her smell your scent. Androstadienone is a compound naturally found in men’s sweat that has been shown to improve women’s mood and increase sexual desire. It is a well known pheromone that is even reproduced and included in some men’s cologne. My advice? Be careful not to douse yourself in too much cologne. Let some of your manly scent come through and let nature take its course. We are naturally designed to be attracted to certain people’s scents, but if yours is masked by artificial odors, she won’t be able to sense it.

3. Go for the 5 o’clock shadow. One study found that women found stubble more attractive than both a shaved face and a full beard. They believe that stubble was linked to sexual maturity. My advice? Let the stubble grow a little longer so it doesn’t poke and rub her face (and other parts!) raw.

4. Exercising your pelvic floor muscles for just 2 minutes every day can have various sexual benefits. A lot of men think doing Kegel exercises is just for women, but that’s definitely not the case. It can help improve erections, help you to last longer, get harder, control urinary incontinence and have better, stronger orgasms.

5. Kissing has numerous health and relationship benefits. A study found that kissing helps lower stress and cholesterol. When it comes to your relationship it increases intimacy. How often a couple kisses was correlated to their long term satisfaction in the relationship, and how often they had sex was not!

6. Scent is extremely important. We already talked about how your natural scent can increase her desire for you. It turns out that a woman won’t be attracted to you if you smell like a family member, which makes perfect sense, of course. Be careful what cologne you choose because she will associate that scent with family and you’ll be immediately out of the running.

7. Men are attracted to women wearing the color red more than other colors. So buy your partner a sexy, red dress or a hot, red bra and panty set and ask her to wear it on your next date.

8. Exercising together can increase arousal and sexual desire for each other. What happens in your body when you exercise mirrors what happens when you have sex, which can “trick” your body into associating exercise with that person with attraction and desire. Your heart rate quickens, you start to sweat and you experience shortness of breath, just like during sex!

9. Orgasms help with migraines. For those who suffer from migraines and bad headaches, research has shown that having an orgasm can greatly reduce or completely alleviate migraine pain. My advice? Don’t expect your partner to want sex if she’s having a bad headache. Try going down on her instead.

10. Minty fresh breath can extra benefits. Sucking on a peppermint candy while performing oral sex can create tingling sensations and heightened temperature sensitivity. Try a strong mint like Altoids for best results.

11. One study found that wearing socks during sex significantly increased the chance of an orgasm. Why? Feeling warm and comfortable is important to being relaxed enough to orgasm, especially for women. You don’t need to have your partner wear socks necessarily, but do make sure that she is cozy, comfortable and relaxed, no matter where you’re doing it or you might never get her there.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques about Breast Pleasure CLICK HERE NOW!

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In the busy hustle and bustle of everyday life your sex life can sometimes take a backseat to other priorities in your life. While it happens to every couple at times, it’s not something you want to let happen for too long or too often. Sex is important to a relationship, not just to satisfy your sexual needs, but to keep the relationship close and intimate. That’s it’s important to keep things fresh, new and interesting. There’s another thing that couples forget that they need in their sex life: FUN! Couples who laugh together report being more satisfied in their relationships in every way. So, why not combine fun and sex on a regular basis? Here are 5 fun and really sexy games you can play to ignite the passion in your sexual relationship:

1. Super fantasy bowl

In this game you both write down 3-5 of your secret fantasies on a individual pieces of paper, fold them up, and put them into a bowl together with your partner’s fantasies. The fantasies don’t have to be anything too outrageous, it could be anything from having sex on the beach, to having sex 5 times in one day, to more risque things like visiting a sex club. Take turns picking a fantasy out of the bowl and talking about it. Whoever’s fantasy it was has to describe how they see it happening to their partner and say why it turns them on. You don’t even need to think or talk about actually acting it out, just talk about it while lying next to each other in bed! Before you know it you’ll both be so turned on, you’ll forget all about the game!

2. “Would you rather” sex edition

Get in bed together and get ready to play another game that will really get the sexual juices flowing. Have you ever played the game “would you rather?” It consists of asking the other person if they would rather do one thing or the other. In this edition the questions have to be sexual in nature and sexy. It can actually be a great way to learn even more about what your partner’s secret sexual fantasies and desires are like.

3. Strip trivia with a twist

Break out the trivia questions in this fun sex game. Ask your partner a question from one of the cards and if she gets it wrong, then YOU get to remove a piece of her clothing. She can decide which piece, but you have to be the one to take it off. Then it’s your turn to to answer a question! This is a fun way to tease each other and get really turned on.

4. Sexy Dice

For those who have trouble with the creative side of sex games (for example, you’re not sure what fantasy to write or which “would you rather” question to ask) sexy dice are a great way to play a sex game and not have to stress about ideas. They can be purchased online or in any sex shop. Or, if you are feeling a little on the creative side, you can create your own set. Get two different colored dice and then you designate the meaning for each number. For the first die, each number should represent a part of the body (ie. nipples, lips, neck, etc). For the second die, each number will represent an action (ie. suck, lick whipped cream off, massage, etc).

5.  Actors in a porn movie

In this fun role playing game you will pretend to be actors in a porn movie and reenact scenes from porn. You can watch a porno together and actually reenact what you see on the screen, or you can get creative and make up your own “script” as you go along. Go all out and really overact while you’re doing it. At first you will be giggling about how silly it seems, but after a while you will start to get into your role and find that it’s not only fun, but it’s also really hot! For an extra naughty element, consider filming your own little porn (for your eyes only, of course!). If you decide to do this last part, it’s a good idea to discuss what you’ll do with the video after (ie. delete after one or 2 viewings or save it in a safe place).

Sex games can be a lot of fun and I have even more to share with you. Stay tuned for another post in a few weeks with 5 more exciting sex games!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to drive her crazy with your Oral Sex? Check out my program “Oral Rapture“.

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When it comes to you, my dear readers, I always want to make sure that you have the absolute best possible sex life. Usually that means sharing my expertise through my articles, special reports, eBooks and inviting you to watch my helpful videos. But sometimes you might need outside help with a very specific question and that might require special one-on-one help from a sex therapist. Some people shy away from the idea of going to a therapist, especially one that wants to talk about sex, which is a particularly sensitive subject. However, I think sex therapy is a wonderful thing and it’s definitely needed in certain situations. Sex therapists are people who are specially trained to deal with sexual issues, so you don’t have to be embarrassed to bring anything up with them. They’ve definitely heard it all! How do you know if you need to see a sex therapist? Here are 8 ways to tell…

1. A persistent problem

If you have a persistent sexual problem that just won’t go away and is causing you personal stress or putting stress on your relationship, it might be time to contact a sex therapist. Only you know if the problem is out of your control and is causing enough trouble in your life, but don’t be afraid to see a therapist. Just like you would take your car to the mechanic if you needed to have a tune up, you need to see a therapist if you have a sexual issue.

2. Painful sex

Sex shouldn’t be painful (except in those situations that someone is seeking out pain during BDSM!). If you’re experiencing some kind of pain during sex it might be because you or your partner (or both) have some kind of health problem. Your first step should be to see your doctor, but if your doctor isn’t able to figure out the cause of the pain then it’s time to call a sex therapist who may be able to help you connect with other specialists. They can also help you to find the best positions, sex acts and techniques for pain that can’t resolved (like chronic pain or issues from other diseases or health problems).

3. Orgasm issues

One thing to keep in mind is that it’s not a problem to not have an orgasm during sexual activity. It’s only a problem if you feel it’s a problem. There are many women and men who don’t have orgasms and have a perfectly satisfying sex lives. However, if you don’t have orgasms and it causes you distress then you can see a sex therapist about it and they can help.

4. Concerns about addiction

Some people might be concerned that they are addicted to sex or pornography and a sex therapist can help you assess if your behavior might be problematic. If it is, he or she can also help you put a treatment plan into effect.

5. Feeling ashamed about your sex life or fantasies

A sex therapist can help you to come to terms with any shame or embarrassment you feel about the things you find sexually exciting. Sex should be fun, not shameful.

6. Problems in your sexual relationship with your partner

Are you arguing about sex with your partner? Are one or both of you unsatisfied with your sexual relationship? Although it can be hard and a little scary to open up to each other and a stranger about your sex life, going to a sex therapist can make a huge difference in the overall satisfaction and well being of your relationship.

7. Lack of desire

If you or your partner are struggling with a lack of desire and it’s causing you distress, a sex therapist can help. Again, for some people they don’t mind not having a strong libido and that’s ok, but if it is an issue that bothers you then you can seek help in this way. Remember that desire will ebb and flow in a relationship and that’s completely normal too.

8. Challenging views about sex

Sometimes people have difficulty with sex because of how they grew up, what they learned about sex when they were young or because of religious beliefs. A sex therapist can help you work through any conflicting feelings, guilt or any unpleasantness you have regarding sex.

Going to a sex therapist is a great way to resolve any issues, uncertainty or questions you have about sex.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques for couples CLICK HERE NOW!

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Has your sex life been feeling a little boring these days? Not to worry, it happens to every couple in the world at some point in their relationship. Just because it might be a little dull right now, doesn’t mean it’s going to be boring forever. Even though it’s totally normal, no one likes going through a dry spell in their sexual relationship, so in order to end the slump sooner rather than later, try one of these 10 ways to reactivate your boring sex life…

1. Get drunk together

This might seem like a juvenile activity, but one thing a lot of couples lose after many years is their ability to just let loose and have fun together! Plus if you’ve been going through a dry spell, you need to take the pressure off and have a little something to drink can be a great way to do that. Stay home one night and plan a fun night of drinking and playing together. Often with drinking your arousal is heightened, but your reactions will be slowed down, so don’t be surprised if you don’t even end up having sex that night. That’s not necessarily the point. The idea is to laugh and have some fun together, grope each other on the couch and reconnect! If you definitely want to have sex, be sure not to drink TOO much. You know your limits and make sure you don’t go overboard. If you don’t drink you can still have fun and laugh together. Pick an alcohol-free, FUN activity and have a blast together.

2. Go technology free

You might be wondering what technology has to do with your sex life. Most people spend so much time on their phones and computers these days that they barely interact with each other. Then if you consider the amount of time you spend in front of the TV, playing video games or doing other types of screen time, you might start to wonder how much uninterrupted time you really spend with your partner. This takes its toll on your relationship. You need to talk and connect in order to have a good sex life. So, make a rule that you will turn off all screens and technology at a certain time every day. You could decide that between 6pm and 8pm there is absolutely no email-checking, phone use or screen time of any kind. Disconnect from technology and connect with each other. Or you could even pick a time and agree that the ban goes until the next morning.

3. Go dancing

This goes back to the idea of having fun together. If you like to dance, go to a club and get super close to each other and swing, sway and grind to the music. If you don’t have any dancing experience, consider taking lessons together and practicing at home. Dancing is not that different from sex in certain ways. You have the closeness and the intimacy. In no time you will start feeling the sparks start to fly even if you can’t dance that well! Just being close and feeling each other’s bodies will remind you not to neglect your sexy partner.

4. Put a ban on intercourse for a month

If you think I’ve really lost my mind this time, just wait and hear me out! If you and your partner decide to ban intercourse for one whole month you will make it the single most desired thing in your lives. We humans always want what we can’t have. Tell me I can’t have chocolate? You bet I’m craving it like mad before too long. Even if you want to have intercourse after a couple of days, DON’T give in. Doing the whole month will be worth it. You can be sexual together in other ways, but just NO vaginal intercourse. This will force you to explore other ways to please each other and your sexual relationship will get much better as a result.

5. See other people

Before you jump to conclusions, I’m not talking about dating other people or hooking up with them, I’m talking about your friends. Yea, remember them? Long term couples, especially those that have children, see their friends very rarely, but having other relationships is really important to your mental health and well being. It will help you be happier and that will make you happier in your relationship as a result. And happier couples usually have more sex!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques to become a Vagina Master CLICK HERE NOW!

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