When the word “tantra” comes up in conversation, we are often moved to illusions of complex and complicated rituals with candles burning and incense alight, chanting and new-age music, deep breathing and strange words to address some sacred self and divine lover.

While all of these things can be incorporated into tantric sex, none of them are absolutely necessary. The most vital aspect to any couple’s tantric practice is the daily ritual, those habits and routines that allow us to go about our mundane lives with a sense of devotion and love that brings us back to the sacredness which is our relationship.

Your relationship with your lover is about more than just the bond between you; it is a reflection of your life as a whole. Your lover shows you a mirror of yourself, and you do the same for her. Giving each other this space to truly look into your own hearts and find what really matters not only brings you the individual happiness that comes from living a fulfilling and worthwhile life, but the bliss and ecstasy that can come from sharing this happiness with someone whom you love.

In most traditional cultures, getting a few moments to spend with your lover wasn’t nearly the ordeal we make it out to be today. Even if you spend twelve hours every day toiling away at a mind-numbing job, you can use daily tantric practices to bring you closer to your partner… and with time it may just bring you close enough to your own true heart that you suddenly find yourself doing exactly what you love instead!

Morning: Wake Up and Focus

Stretch and set an intention for the day. The morning is about getting up, awaking the body and getting together on the same page about the hours ahead. Watch the sunrise and greet the day. If you don’t wake up together, it is important to find a way to connect. You can try leaving notes for each other to check in at the next point in the day. If you can, try to spend some time actually looking each other in the eyes as you decide on the day’s intent. If not, the next best thing will do – webcams, telephones, even texting works if you must. Come up with a basic plan to achieve the day’s intention, and then head out into the world to do it!

Noon

At noon, you may still be a part for the day, but if you can stop to share a moment together before eating lunch, do it. Even an email will do. If you absolutely must, simply take some time alone in quietude around the noontime hour to remind yourself of the day’s intention and look forward to seeing your lover in the evening. Check in to see how you have progressed on the day’s intent. If you haven’t started one yet, expand your at-home action plan into a full-blown to-do list. Get it done!

Evening

When evening comes, it’s time to reunite after a long day apart. Watch the sunset and allow the day to fade away. This is a time to relax together, before turning on the TV or checking your email, before eating dinner or going out with the boys. Take a few moments with your lover to reconnect, look into each other’s eyes, breathe together, and talk about the day’s intention and how it has progressed so far. What things can you do together in the evening to bring the day’s full potential to fruition? Do them!

Night

As you head into the dark of night and prepare for bed, it is time to come together fully again for another slumber curled up together. Do you have evening prayers that you share? Do you tell your lover how much she means to you, how beautiful she is, how much you love her? Do you kiss and cuddle? I like to recount the very best part of my day, and if anything particularly difficult or challenging happened, the most troubling part of my day as well. I share comfort with my husband and let go of all the day’s stress, so we can enjoy our time together in bed, until morning comes and it’s time to set our intentions on another day ahead!

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#DAILY RITUALS

When new information comes out about sexuality I like to share it with my readers here on my website. After all, the more we know about sex, the better we will be at it. Unfortunately, there is very little research done on sexuality and even less on female sexuality and pleasure. So when I have good and juicy information to share, I can’t wait to do so! One of the least researched topics in female sexuality is female ejaculation and that’s why I’m especially excited to share a new study with you today.

Female ejaculation is a highly debated subject in the human sexuality world. Some claim all women can do it and if they haven’t it’s only because they haven’t had the right kind of stimulation. Others, especially women who have tried it and not succeeded, swear that they have tried it all and they just can’t do it. Unless more research is done on the topic we won’t ever know more about this mysterious bodily function.

Today, however, we know a little more than we did before about female ejaculation. Here’s what I found out…

The Basics

For those of you who aren’t yet familiar with the subject, female ejaculation is when a woman expels fluid out of her urethra (this is the same tube that urine comes out of and the same tube that men ejaculate and pee out of). The amount of fluid can range from a teaspoon to a cup. The consistency varies as well. Some ejaculate is thin, clear and watery, while others have ejaculate that is milky and sticky. They are still not sure how many women experience ejaculation. The estimates range from 10% to 40% of the female population.

So, what is this ejaculate made up of anyway?

A lot of debate has occurred regarding female ejaculate and what it’s made of. Some people think that a woman has actually lost control of her bladder and has peed, but others insist this isn’t the case. Even women who have experienced it worry that they have urinated. This is probably because female ejaculation occurs from stimulating the G spot, which is located just on the other side of the urethra, inside the woman’s body. Stimulating the G spot often makes a woman feel like she needs to pee, even if she has just gone to the bathroom. If she continues to receive stimulation to this area to the point of orgasm and ejaculation, she might worry that in the excitement and intensity of her orgasm she lost control over her bladder. However, a new study shows that this is not the case. a new study took a small sample of women who reported “ejaculating” when sexually stimulated.

First the researchers took a urine sample from the women. They then did an ultrasound of the bladder to make sure that it was completely empty before the women were told to either masturbate or have sex until the point of climax. Right before climaxing the researchers took another ultrasound scan and a sample of the fluid expelled. Then they took one final scan of the bladder after climax. What they found was that the women’s bladders completely filled up again during sexually stimulation and then that fluid was expelled during climax. Upon examining the makeup of the fluid they discovered that in 2 of the 7 women in the study the fluid was identical to the urine sample taken before. In other words, in that case the ejaculate was pee. In the other 5 women they found another element in the expelled ejaculate/urine. They found a prostate-specific antigen that is found in male ejaculate. They believe that this fluid was expelled from the Skene’s gland (sometimes referred to as the female prostate).

The scientists performing this study feel that every woman should be able to ejaculate in this way if stimulated correctly. Still, the study leaves us with many unanswered questions. First, it needs to be repeated with many more participants. Why do the women’s bladders fill up completely during sexual stimulation? Where is that fluid coming from and what is triggering its production?

As always, there is a lot more research that needs to be done about “squirting” in order to better understand the female sexual system and pleasure. Some people might now feel uncomfortable with squirting knowing that the fluid released is, in part or completely, urine. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is ejaculation related to sexual pleasure. The woman isn’t peeing on you, she is ejaculating! I suppose it depends on your perspective. Until we know more, fellas, keep exploring with your partners and have a blast!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about female ejaculation, Squirting Orgasms Shortcuts is for you CLICK HERE NOW!

I’ll teach you what spots to aim for during penetration, particularly if you want to send your lover over the edge and help her squirt.

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If you’re looking to add a little heat and a lot of intimacy to your sex life – and who isn’t – the ancient practice of Tantric sex might be the answer. Some people think that Tantric sex is cultish or that it’s about making love for hours on end. But it’s actually a simple and accessible way for people to raise their lovemaking energy, make a spiritual connection with their partner, and break down boundaries. Plus, it can give the both of you truly incredible orgasms. What’s not to like? Here’s my step-by-step guide to sex that doesn’t involve pretzel poses or bedroom marathons, but it does ensure a stronger, closer erotic bond.

Step 1: Ask her to join you

Instead of trying to squeeze in a quickie, take the time to ask your partner to embark on this sexual experience with you. Asking each other’s permission before you begin ensures that you’re not taking each other for granted and establishes respect for both your partner and the act. Try saying something like, “I’m really looking forward to making love with you, and feeling closer and more connected.” Feel a little silly? Go ahead and giggle – even Tantric sex can be playful.

Step 2: Set the scene

Take the time to create a sensual setting and mood. You want everything in the room to be pleasing to the eye. Try draping richly colored cloths around your bedroom, lighting incense or candles, and placing items to which you two have an emotional attachment – photos, gifts, an erotic book – around the room. Another mood enhancer? Draw a bath and sink into the tub together (and lather each other up). The point is to make your woman feel like a goddess and to set aside time that you normally wouldn’t so that it’s special.

Step 3: Reach out and touch each other

A full-body massage helps stimulate the seven energy centers, or chakras, throughout your body, so you’re aroused from head to toe. Start massaging your partner’s hands and wrists, then move up the arms and shoulders until you reach the chest. Next, starting from the feet and ankles, work your way up the legs and thighs until you reach the belly. This sequence helps awaken her sexual energy. When you’re done massaging her, have her do the same for you – this puts your energies in tune and helps create a sense of union, not to mention that it feels pretty darn good.

Step 4: Take a breath

Now that you’re relaxed, aroused, and connected, heighten these feelings with some synchronized breathing. Sit facing each other with your knees touching or with her straddling your lap. You can be clothed or naked, whatever feels best for you. Take a minute to gaze silently into each other’s eyes, and then breathe in and out in unison for at least five minutes. Doing this puts you in the same spiritual space and synchronizes your energy. It’s all a part of conscious lovemaking. From there, start alternating inhalations and exhalations. As you breathe in, she breathes out. You’ll create a circle of breath that is very sexually arousing, even though nothing has happened in your genitals.

Step 5: Reach your peak

While superintense orgasms aren’t the main goal of Tantric sex, a big playoff never hurts. Increase the buildup by thinking of sex as a buffet, rather than a three-course meal. In regular sex, you’ll have foreplay, then intercourse, then cuddle. In Tantric sex, you’ll have a little foreplay, then maybe a bit of intercourse, then you might stop to go back to massage, then foreplay again, then feed each other some fruit, then back to intercourse. You reach an energy high multiple times over the course of the journey, each one more intense than the last. By the time you’ve reached the point where you’re ready to release these energies and orgasm, the result can be an intensely magical – and pleasurable – experience.

If you are not single, and you are looking to add fiery soul to your lovemaking and you’ve always wanted to know more about Tantric sex, check out my program. You’ll find everything you need there.

Kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

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Yes, it’s a thing! We’ve got tips that will elevate your average bedroom sesh into a soul-stirring one.

Gone are the days when sex was an act of reproduction or pleasure. It’s broken free of its restrictive definition of ‘the penetration of a vagina by a penis’ and has evolved into something a lot more intense and complex. We’ve grown into mastering the art of connecting on a deeper level, where love and lust collide, making the bond between two souls much stronger. Confused? Fear not, we’ve got you covered.

So, how do you even begin to achieve this type of passion? Through a little something called tantric sex. Sexual intercourse is no longer an act of body-on-body pleasure or a prerequisite to building a family. It’s much more than that. It’s the most intimate way two bodies and souls can become one, and tantric sex is no different. All it does is make you slow down and relax enough to feel a sense of intense awareness and control. It teaches you to be present in yourself, as well as with your partner in every possible way.

Whether you have been together for six months or six years, never lose sight of the connection. Keep igniting that spark to ensure the intimate energy, that connects you as you are, grows with time. You need to bring down the walls and expand your horizons. Share your vulnerabilities. Let your biggest fears and your biggest insecurities ground you to Earth as one.

Tantric sex can help you achieve this. You might not see the results overnight, but in the long run, your efforts will pay off. If you’re new to tantric sex, what will help you is first to try my Tongue Twister program, which basically teaches you how to slowly “torture” your partner with tongue exercises that truly… burn.

STEP 1 Block out about three to four hours, and make sure any, and all kinds of distractions—work, kids, or family— are completely taken care of. You will need this time for the two of you.

STEP 2 Create a romantic, calm, and relaxing atmosphere. Dim the lights, or switch them off and use candles (bonus points if they’re scented!). Prep a playlist with slow instrumental music and play in the background. You will need: massage oils, towels, pillows, a few snacks and something to drink.

STEP 3 Step into the bath together. Let the warm water caress your skin and calm your body. Look into your partner’s eyes, watch the way her body moves and the way water flows through her hair. Encourage her to do the same to you. Outline her body with your fingertips, but keep in mind not to engage in sexual activities yet. Let a serene feeling settle in you, calming your nerves.

STEP 4 Once out of the bathroom, sit apart from each other (without facing each other). Both of you need to close your eyes and relax. Take slow but steady breaths. Focus on inhaling and exhaling until you feel your mind is at ease and completely free of other thoughts and disturbances. HINT: You won’t be able to master this overnight, but remember, practice makes perfect.

STEP 5 Sit cross-legged, facing each other (or in any other intimate position you prefer). Let your knees and hands touch. Share each other’s energy and emotions. Synchronise your breathing to match your boo’s and let your minds, souls, and bodies connect. HINT: This, too, takes time. So keep at it, until it comes easily to you both.

STEP 6 Have your partner lie down and give her a slow and sensual full-body massage. Keep your mind from wandering and focus on what’s happening now, both within yourself, as well as with your partner. End the massage with a long and intense genital massage. If you feel she’s about to climax, focus her attention elsewhere, prolonging her orgasm as much as possible. Focus on other parts of her body and allow that feeling to spread to the rest of her body. Be sure to communicate and ask her what she likes and what feels good. This is key. HINT: She may (or may not) orgasm, but remember the big O is not your goal here. Rather, it is to be aware of every touch.

STEP 7 After she recovers, ask her to give you the same massage. She should pay attention to your body language and sounds, understanding that your wants and desires may not be similar to what she enjoys. She should maintain intimate contact with you through her hands, kisses, or soft words of love. HINT: Again, your orgasm is not the goal; making you feel good and helping you maintain concentration is.

STEP 8 Once both of you recover from the massages, stay immobile in an intimate position. The recommended position in tantric sex is Yab Yum, believed to be more intimate. Your partner sits on your lap with her legs wrapped around you, and with your genitals connected. Stay still in this position taking in every part of your partner, breathing together and gazing into each other’s eyes until you feel a deep and undeniable connection filled with desire.

STEP 9 Slowly reposition yourself as you prefer without breaking the connection you’ve built throughout the previous steps. Then, make slow, long and passionate love the way you usually would.

STEP 10 Include tantric sex into your love life as much as possible to master the art of truly connecting through your mind, body, and soul as one.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. If you need more inspiration for what to do when it comes to massaging your partner’s genitals, check out my Tongue Twister program. It contains some tongue massages that you’ll most definitely want to have in your erotic repertoire. She’ll scream in delight!

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Lots of women have trouble orgasming — and a lot of women can orgasm just fine but take a damn long time to do it. Now, taking a while is nothing for a woman to be embarrassed about — she should take all the time she needs and know that there’s nothing wrong with her if it takes a while to get off — and it’s partly down to the way that women are built. It can take women around 20 minutes to reach peak arousal. For men, on average, it’s rather fast — touch, a thought, something visual can do the trick. Of course it is.

But if you want her to finish faster, whether it’s to sync up with you or because you’ve got things to do and people to see, there are plenty of ways to do it — techniques, products, and general ways to explore. It’s important that you play around with different tips and find what works for you and your partner. Then, the next time you want to give her an orgasm really quickly, but you’re worried it’s going to make you late for work, you’ll be in a great position to fire one out in a hurry.

Here are the different techniques you can use, because there are so many ways to approach it.

Try plenty of foreplay

If her problem is that she’s taking a long time to orgasm during penetration — which isn’t a problem, by the way, she should take all the damn time she needs — you can speed things along by spending more time on foreplay. It not only gets her aroused — it can improve your connection too. Sex play can be just as gratifying as the rest of sex, in fact it can increase anticipation and spontaneity so that arousal and orgasm are improved, while the bonding hormone oxytocin gets released through extended touch. Oxytocin increases your sense of connection and overall wellness.

Go for blended stimulation

One is good, two is better. Seriously though, most women need that clit stimulation, but the intensity of combining it with G-spot stimulation can really get things moving. The G-spot is located two inches inside the vagina, on the topside of the vaginal wall, and has a spongy texture. To find the G-spot, insert two fingers, palm-up, with a ‘come-here’ motion, and press up against the front wall of the vagina. The G-spot responds to direct pressure. Want to try it during sex? Try shallow thrusting or woman on top positions to get the G-spot, then you or your partner can give her clit a hand.

Use lube

Lube just makes everything better. Lube revolutionizes sex lives and opens up a world of erotic possibilities. And you can go for one with a warming or tingly sensation for extra stimulation. It’s not just if she needs it — lube is totally fun as an addition to any sex experience.

Learn about her body

Want to really get a handle on how to give her an orgasm in hurry? Learn about her body. Every woman is different, and factors like the size and position of her clitoris can have a large impact on how she orgasms. Research has found that women who have a clitoris that sits closer to their vaginal opening have a greater chance of achieving orgasm than women who have a larger distance between these two body parts. The ‘rule of thumb’ states that women with an ideal distance of about one inch (or a thumb’s distance) between their vaginal opening and their clitoris will have a better chance of achieving this form of orgasm.

But everyone is different and there’s no wrong way to be built. Just utilize techniques that work for her specific anatomy.

Try a toy

Vibrators work. For a lot of my patients, they were the first way that they experienced an orgasm — or the only way they still can. Vibrators kind of level the playing field for women in the bedroom. A lot of women really need the consistent stimulation on their clitoris to have the same experience as men have. Adding one in always speeds up the process.

Try a new technique

You may be trying the sex position that works best for you— and there are a lot of sex positions out there. Practice them with your partner — you might find your own secret to a super-fast orgasm.

If you have trouble giving your partner a quick and easy orgasm, know that you’re not alone. Invest some time in finding the right toy, technique, or more about her body and you’ll be speeding things up in no time.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S.- If “Sex Toys” is a subject that has caught your attention, please check out my program Lusty Vibrations for further info.

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While sex is all about getting intimate with your partner, you both have one goal in mind: to reach orgasm. At least that’s what I hope you both want. It would be terrible to hear you’re only concerned about your own pleasure and your partner’s orgasm comes second. Especially given the fact that women aren’t so lucky when it comes to the easiness of their climaxes. In fact, only 20% of women can have an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, the poor souls.

To make things easier for you, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You can up the odds of her orgasm – this is where the blended orgasm comes in. A blended orgasm is achieved via a combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation. However, it can also mean to blend multiple erogenous zones at the same time, thing the G-Spot, the A-Spot, nipples and even anal stimulation.

Given the fact that most women (70% of them, to be more exact) need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, the blended orgasm is your best bet on the path to mutual sexual bliss. Why? Because blended orgasms last longer and are more intense, thus giving you enough time to make sure your partner reaches the finish line as well.

To reach a blended orgasm it’s best to experiment with different options to see what works for her. Here are four different ways you can give her a blended orgasm:

1. Get handsy

Penetrative sex teamed with clitoral stimulation is one of the best ways to achieve a blended orgasm. One of the best positions to achieve this is doggy style, where you can go deep and also reach around to stimulate the clitoris. While you might think that doggy is the perfect way to spice up vanilla, missionary sessions, it’s actually much more orgasmic than you would have previously thought. But if you’re not reaching around and stimulating her clitoris, you can kiss the orgasm bye, bye. If you’re only focusing on G-Spot stimulation and going as deep as possible, you partner might feel disconnected and she might even feel pain around the cervix.

2. Go through the backdoor

Women can have anal orgasms through indirect stimulation of the erogenous zones inside of the vagina – both the G-Spot and the A-Spot. These erogenous zones share a wall with the rectum – and combining this with clitoral stimulation will have her toes curling. The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, and for many women the clitoris extends all the way down the anus, thus when you’re stimulating her anus, you’re also stimulating the clitoral legs. With all this stimulation going on, your chances of giving your partner an intense orgasm are good. But don’t hurry into it, though. Start by giving her a butt massage and using relaxing moves to enhance pleasure, such as going from light to firm, teasing, and pinching.

3. Go old fashioned

You should consider your hands and fingers your most important tools in the bedroom. It’s a common faulty belief among men that the penis is the ultimate tool in bed. I couldn’t disagree more. Your hands and fingers are much more reliable and versatile when it comes to giving women orgasms – especially blended orgasms. Fingers are the perfect way to combine sensations to make a blended orgasm. Warm her up using your fingers, tracing circles around her clitoris. Then insert your fingers into her while still stimulating the clitoris with your thumb or mouth. Curl the inserted fingers towards the belly button to hit her G-Spot. You’ve got yourself a winner.

4. Use toys

From couples’ toys, to anal beads and clitoral stimulators, the options are endless when it comes to spicing it up in the bedroom. Penis rings will add vibration – and they also help men to last longer, and you really do want this. If you last longer, you’re giving her time to fully enjoy herself and have an orgasm. See, you’re both winners in this case!

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips and tricks about how to achieve intense female orgasms, check out my program on the matter – Squirting Orgasms Shortcuts

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Eating food and having sex are undoubtedly two of the best things about being alive. As dining is already an integral part of dating, integrating food into your sex life is an easy peasy way to try new things in bed.

Some more extreme kinks involving food may seem pretty far out, but the connection between sex and food makes perfect sense. They’re both comforting activities often shared with those you love. Not to mention, sex is supposed to be messy.

For those of you who are intimidated, fear not: There are plenty of ways to incorporate food into your sex life that keep you within your comfort zone. Not convinced? I’ve rounded up some great foods to bring into the bedroom, along with beginner tips.

Sushi

Try out Nyotaimori, the art of eating sushi off a naked body, at home. Order your favorite rolls, and then take turns arranging them on each other’s bodies and then eating them. Traditionally, a barrier such as bamboo leaves is between the sushi and the body, but if you’re going to place it directly on your partner’s skin, you might want to make sure they’re clean first.

Cherries

Go old-school and preface your foreplay by challenging your partner to the classic kissing test: See who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with their tongue. Beyond that, cherries are a great addition to the bedroom. Run them over your partner’s body, or drizzle the juice over their erogenous zones and then lick it off.

Popsicles

I know: Popsicles look like penises. But since they’re made out of mostly frozen water and sugar, they’re not good to use for penetration, so don’t use them like this. Not only can the sugar in a popsicle throw off your partner’s pH balance and potentially cause yeast infections, but the popsicle itself might melt inside her orifices. That’s not so fun for a woman’s vagina, but it’s super fun (and delicious) for a mouth. Ask your lady to how off her blowjob skills by sucking and licking a popsicle as you watch, or sit across from each other and swap the icy treat back and forth between your mouths during a make out session. The frozen dessert is also an exciting way to introduce temperature play into your sex life; try running a popsicle over your partner’s nipples and then lick off the sweet residue.

Brie & crackers

If your taste buds prefer savory over sweet, brie can be used in the same manner as gooey chocolate syrup. Get messy by spreading the soft cheese over your lover’s nipples and licking it off while enjoying an entirely new flavor profile than the sugary treats traditionally used for food play. Not turned on by eating fancy French cheese off your partner’s body? Brie and crackers can also be served as the ultimate post-sex snack. A cheese plate in bed is pretty much the classiest and most delicious palate cleanser you can have after an oral sex marathon.

Grapes

As part of breakfast in bed, after Sunday morning sex, add grapes to your partner’s plate of well-deserved delicacies, and feed them to her Cleopatra-style. She’ll feel worship worthy for sure. Before you get to the post-sex snacks, grapes can be used for temperature play while getting it on. Frozen grapes are delicious even without the love making, so imagine how delightful the fruit can be when orgasms are involved. Place a bundle of grapes in the freezer over night. When you’re ready for some icy hot foreplay, pluck a frozen grape from its stem and run it over your woman’s nipples and other erogenous zones.

Whipped cream

If the infamous Varsity Blues whipped cream bikini scene didn’t convince you, whipped cream is a classic for a reason. It’s delicious and it has the perfect fluffy-yet-sticky consistency that helps it stay put on erogenous zones. Integrate the tasty treat into your foreplay by spraying it on your partner’s nipples and licking it off. You can also use it as the perfect segue way to oral sex by creating a line from your partner’s neck down to just barely above their genitals. Lick your way down, then proceed to eat her out. Be careful about getting the dessert inside the labia, as sugar can cause yeast infections.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more saucy ideas on how you can make your foreplay more creative, check out my program on sex toys  –  Lusty Vibrations.

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You’re all revved up and ready to have phone sex with your partner, and then the phone rings and all you can think of saying is, “I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes, and I wanna move from the bed, down to the, down to the to the floor.” Phone conversations are hard, particularly when you’re supposed to sound sexy.

It’s completely normal to get tongue-tied during phone sex, and you don’t have to face-palm yourself if you feel this way. We are conditioned from an early age to experience pleasure quickly and silently, due to most of us growing up in households where masturbation required stealth and speed. Identifying and articulating our sexual needs is a learned skill, and one that takes practice.

And having a list of phrases to say before you start isn’t dumb, it’s brilliant. One of the ways phone sex is easier than in-person dirty talk is that it gives you the flexibility to have a cheat sheet in front of you in case you get stuck. You can think of it as a Mad Libs exercise, but for sex. Phone sex is an exercise in improv, self awareness, and communication. It can definitely feel awkward until you start to get the hang of it.

So, the next time you don’t know what to say, try one of these tantalizing, roll-off-the-tongue phrases.

Moan

If you lose your train of thought, the best thing to do is talk about how hot your partner is making you feel, and then just let moaning fill the space. The easiest solution is to act like you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself while you catch your thoughts.

“What are you wearing?”

One common way to initiate phone sex is to just ask the person on the other line what they’re wearing, because it’s a simple but easily recognizable sign of sexual interest. Initiating phone sex doesn’t have to be super witty; you just need something that gets the point across.

“Tell me what you want to do to me”

The good thing about phone sex is that you always have a partner to help you along if you get lost. But, instead of just saying, “Okay, your turn,” ask them to describe what they would want to do to you. It buys you a few seconds before you have to say something again, and will likely inspire your next topic.

“When I imagine myself inside of you I want to come”

If you’re at a loss for words, simply name a body part, an action, and how it makes you feel. If that’s too complicated, you can swap different parts or reactions in the phrase, “Feeling your _____ all over me makes me want to _____”.

“As soon as I walk into your room I feel your hands pull down my pants”

Role play doesn’t have to involve some crazy fantastical plot line, and you can totally explore things as yourself. Phrase scenarios in present-tense so it feels like it’s actually happening in real time.

“I feel my skin burning. My dick is hard. I feel heat radiating from it. My body is craving your touch.”

If you do lose your train of thought, audibly take a deep breath or two. While you’re taking those two deep breaths, check in with your body and narrate something that’s happening.

“I feel you breathing faster as the pleasure is building”

Although much of phone sex involves noises, you should try to describe all of your senses — including sounds — in great detail. Explain the sensations you’re feeling, and your partner might be able to “feel” them, too.

“I run my hands over my abs, down my belly, and slip my right hand into my underwear”

Talking about how you’re masturbating is the easiest starting point for phone sex. And if you’re at a loss for words, you could always just say nothing and let your partner listen to the natural sounds of you masturbating.

“I can see your muscles shake as I tease your button, which is begging to be fingered”

Take your time, because the longer you have on the phone with your partner, the better phone sex will be. Teasing your partner by telling them that you’re “hovering” above or around their genitals will enhance the mental stimulation even further, and make them even more turned on.

“I’m going to bring you to the edge of orgasm until you’re so overcome with need that you beg me to let you come”

If there’s a kinky sex act that you’re dying to try, but are too nervous, phone sex is the perfect time to play out those fantasies. You can bring power play into edging, for example, and bring someone to the brink of an orgasm, then slow down or stop. You might also ask your partner to ask you for “permission” before they’re “allowed” to orgasm.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more saucy ideas on how you can make your sex games more creative, check out my program on sex toys  –  Lusty Vibrations.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Hey Lover!

Many women love hot, dirty, kinky, wanton, rip your clothes off, kind of sex.

There, now I’ve said it!

I’m sure you have heard of Fifty Shades of Grey. It is a series of books that have gone mainstream, and that have fired up women’s fantasies and libidos. Or, more accurately, the books have given women permission to explore their fantasies.

You see, women have always been sexual in nature. She likes hot, naughty sex as much as a guy does. But, until the last 5 years or so, women have felt unable to show it.

Why?

First, there was that whole history of women being sexually suppressed thing. Then, there was the virtually non-existent sex research in the area of female sexuality and pleasure until recently. And, finally, now that women have become, so-called liberated, they are still unfortunately slut-shamed when they own their sexuality and pleasure. Combine that with sexual abuse, and sometimes sex is not always a safe place for a woman to be.

This article is not about slut-shaming or sexual abuse. I just want you to realize a few reasons why women may not act as wanton in bed as you may want them to. They don’t feel safe to show how they really feel, because being a sexy, wanton little, sex kitten, makes them feel vulnerable.

So, how can you open her up and bring out her inner sex kitten?

Make Her Feel Safe

This is obvious, yet so many lovers carelessly throw away the gift of their sweetheart’s openness by being judgmental. Never judge, criticize, make fun of, sneer at, or put down someone’s openness about sex. This is truly a gift! If you have a lover who feels so safe with you that they will tell you their deepest desires. Cherish it. Don’t ever break their trust.

Communicate and Share Your Fantasies

Talk about your turn-ons, turn-offs and what makes you hot. Both men and women share many of the same fantasies. No doubt the two of you will have something in common that makes you hot. Create your own sexy bucket list together and explore some fun fantasies. Fantasies and role-playing allow her to not be herself, so it is easier to get into the role of a naughty school girl, sex slave or wanton secretary.

Talk Dirty

Dirty talk during sex is a sure fire way to get everything hotter. The way to do this is to start slow. Maybe at first you can tell her what you want her to do. “Take off your clothes and turn around so I can look at you.” “Ya, that’s good. You look so hot you are making me hard. Come on over here and feel it.” Use a deep voice and talk slow, making sure to be seductive. Tell her she is a naughty girl or a good girl, whichever she prefers. She may like to be called a slut, or a bad girl, but make sure you know this beforehand, as it could also offend her. Use dirty talk to praise her body, “Your ass is so sexy,” or, “You taste so good.” Or, simply describe what you are doing in a dirty way. “I love the feeling of being inside you. Oh, you are so tight and wet!”

Dominate Her in the Bedroom

Despite women becoming more assertive in the workplace, many women still love to be dominated in bed. Most women like to feel feminine, safe and taken care of by a strong, masculine man who is in control.

Be sure to talk about any type of BDSM play like bondage, humiliation, or spanking beforehand and if needed, give her a safe word like “RED”.

Here are some hot dominate ideas to try:

Push her up against the wall and hold her wrists. Press your body against her and kiss her passionately. Tell her what you are going to do to her in the bedroom as you push your knee in between her thighs and spread her legs.

Grind your pelvis against her and grope her breasts and ass. Rip open her blouse and bare her breasts. Pull up her skirt and pull her panties aside. Put your finger in her vulva and make sure she is good and wet, before fingering and rubbing her clitoris.
Hold her down in bed and enter her. Playfully bite her neck and earlobes. Pull her hair if she likes this.

You can also tie her wrists together, so you can have your hands free for other naughty things, or even gag her with a scarf, if this is something she would like to do.
Make love to her slow and seductive or have hot rough sex.

Spank Her

Spanking and light bondage are two of the top dominant and submissive types of play that couples enjoy exploring together. Of course, make sure she is into this first.

Bend her over your knee, or get her to bend over a table and stick her butt out for erotic punishment. Tie her hands or tell her not to move. Slowly and seductively, bare her ass, and softly rub it with the palm of your hand. Grope your fingers into the fleshy part of her butt and squeeze her cheeks to get the blood flowing and make her erotically charged.

Start smacking her lightly on the cheeks of her ass. Stay away from the spine and lower back. Smack her on the apple of her cheeks or sweet spot (just above the thighs where her butt flesh begins). Alternate smacks with rubbing and kneading. Open her thighs and spank her pussy lightly and the inside of her thighs.

Make sure to pay attention to her body language. If she is trying to pull away from your hand, you are smacking too hard. If she is pushing up towards you, you are doing it just right. Alternate soft smacks with harder smacks. If she is moaning that is a good sign.

So, there are a few ways to make sex naughty and turn her into a sex kitten. Be careful, however, she may become addicted!

P.S. Check out my Reverse Cowgirl Domination program to complement this info…

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…