You probably don’t need many more reasons to have more sex other than the fact that it feels amazing, brings you closer to your partner and… did I mention it feels really good? Well, even if you didn’t need another reason to have more sex, now you have another really important reason. Having sex is actually good for your health. Maybe your partner needs a little convincing to get busy more often? This list is your key to talking her into it, just make sure she knows it’s as good as going to the gym and much more fun! Here are the 9 ways that sex improves your health:

1. It burns calories – Sure, it won’t burn as many calories as running a 5K, but 30 minutes of sex can burn between 85 and 200 calories. If you have sex every day, that can add up. It means on the days you have sex you can have that extra naughty treat for dessert and not feel guilty about it. Remember, it’s all about how active you are in bed. If you just lie back and let your partner do all the work, you’ll burn less calories.

2. Sex increases your testosterone levels – Does having sex make you feel extra manly? Well, that might be because it actually raises your testosterone levels. Testosterone helps to strengthen bones and muscles, so having a higher level can help you build up your strength even more. It also helps maintain high energy levels, a healthy libido, your fertility, and improve your mood.

3. Decreases your risk of cancer – Various studies have found that men who ejaculate on a regular basis are more than 30% less likely to develop prostate cancer. If this isn’t a great reason to have sex, I don’t know what is. Ejaculating can flush out the prostate, which could help to decrease the likelihood of developing this dangerous cancer.

4. Sex is good for your heart – Men are especially at risk for heart disease, so knowing that sex can help you have a healthier heart should be a good enough reason to have more sex starting right now. One study showed that men who have sex more than three times a week reduced their risk of heart attack and stroke by 50%. Having sex is also believed to lower blood pressure, which is another great benefit to your heart health.

5. It’s a stress reliever – Stress can have a hugely negative impact on your health, so doing anything that helps you to relieve stress should be a top priority. Luckily, having sex helps to relieve stress. Sex lowers your blood pressure and study participants were found to have smaller increases in blood pressure in stressful situations after having sex than those who had not had sex.

6. It boosts immunity – No one likes being sick, so it’s an extra bonus that sex also helps boost your immune system. Having sex regularly (once or twice per week) increases levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

7. Sex is a great pain reliever – Instead of going to your medicine cabinet next time you have a bad headache or your partner is complaining of menstrual cramps, try climbing into bed together instead. Oxytocin, serotonin and other endorphins released during sex have the amazing effect of actually decreasing pain. It works especially well for arthritis pain, headaches and menstrual pain, but try it out with your particular type of pain and let us know if it works for you.

8. Sex helps you sleep better – Sleep is extremely important to your health. Getting a good night’s sleep is connected to lower stress levels, lower blood pressure, and maintaining a healthy weight. Sex helps you sleep better because both oxytocin and serotonin are released during sex and orgasm, which in combination promote deep sleep.

9. Having sex keeps your reproductive system functioning – Just like you need to take care of your whole body by exercising and eating healthy, you need to take care of your sexual health as well, and that means “working out” your penis by having sex. Having sex or masturbating can help keep erectile dysfunction or other sexual health problems at bay later in life.

Just like having sex is good for you health, being healthy in other areas of your life, like eating a healthy diet, exercising at least 3 times a week and always making sure you get a good night’s sleep, is essential for having good sex. Being more healthy overall will help you to have better sex, just like having sex will make you healthy. Doing just one or the other isn’t enough.

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about how to master her Vagina CLICK HERE NOW!

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“You can’t force sexual chemistry to exist where it doesn’t in the same way you can’t deny it when it does.”

If someone asked you if less sex meant less spark, and you thought, “Less sex? What on earth are you talking about?” then you’re probably one of two people. You’re either a) a lucky bastard in a brand spanking new, shiny relationship, or b) a sex robot sent from the future to woo mankind with your mechanical wiles. If you’re person A, then read this anyway – because it will happen eventually. And if you are person B, welcome! You probably don’t even need to read this, as you’re no doubt programmed for constant sexy times. But everyone else… read on. You might just learn a little something.

How often is often enough?

How many hairs are in Beyonce’s head? How many times has Charlie Sheen been unfaithful? How does Pharrell manage to stay forever young? This is one of those knots that’s not easy to untie. So let’s see how normal people get it done. Cate, 29, and Sean, 30, have been together for four years and they have sex… drum roll, please… twice a week. Then there’s Rachel, 39, and Ben, 42, who’ve also been together for four years and enter the mattress Olympics an average of twice a month. And behind door number three we have Emily, 36, and Joel, 38, also four years in and currently having sex an average of once a month.

So what’s the deal? Who’s normal and who’s not? Actually, how often a couple has sex can depend on a range of things, like age, gender, libido, life-stressors and more. Everyone’s different. But if you really want it in black and white, one of the best sources of info I have says that on average, 30 to 49 year olds have sex 86 times a year.

Why the nooky’s gone MIA

So if you’re not bumping nasties at least once or twice a week, should you be worried? There are so many reasons a couple’s sex life has diminished, and many of them are as simple as someone being tired or feeling stressed and worn out after an exhausting day in the office. If a couple if going through a transitional stage in their life that impacts on both their emotional and physical welfare, such as a career change, illness or grieving a loss, then it’s actually pretty normal for that couple not to have a rockin’ sexual appetite.

But what if it’s none of the above? What if you’ve gone from doing it eight times a weekend to just eight times a year, without even really noticing? “We stopped having sex every other night when we moved in together. We went from seeing each other three or four times a week to every single night. So I guess it just didn’t seem as urgent anymore”, says Ben.

Sound familiar? It should. Anyone who has been in a relationship before might be familiar with the sexual honeymoon phase and how, after time, it can become much less frequent. This is actually quite common in couples, and tends to happen over time.

Happy is as happy does

But what if, like Emily and Joel, you’re both perfectly happy having sex every couple of weeks? Luckily, a lack of sexy sessions doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, just as long as you’re both satisfied with the frequency. “I would probably never tell any of my mates this, but I don’t have a super high sex drive. I feel like maybe we should be having sex more, but at the moment we’re in a routine neither of us really seem to mind”, says Joel. Just make sure you’re not convincing yourself otherwise because you don’t want to face bigger problems in the relationship.

Our libidos can come and go, and some of us just go through a bit of a lull. It becomes a bad sign, though, if you find your disinterest in having sex with your partner sticks around. If your sex life is low because feelings about your relationship have changed, that’s a cause for concern.

So how do you know which it is? A good way of nutting this out is to gauge your libido with masturbation. Basically, if you can turn yourself on when she can’t, you might have a slight problem. But fear not, this article’s not over!

I’m bringing sexy back

Here’s my sage advice: think of it like going to the movies. When was the last time you turned around and realized, “Oh, I’m in a cinema! Since I’m here, I might as well check out a movie.” In a similar vein, sex ain’t just gonna happen, so make sure you’re buying tickets to your own show. Here are three juicy tips to make sure you do just that…

 Dreamt of having sex in nothing but a tie? Do it: create a sex bucket list together and make room for experimentation.
Lock lips like you’re 14-year-olds behind the bike racks. If you’ve stopped kissing each other like you did when you first met, start doing it again. It’s amazing what a classic smooch can do.
Grab her ass at the shops: take on a more “spur of the moment” attitude – don’t schedule sex in!

Put some elbow in it

Don’t sweat it too much, but a whole shebang of studies show couples who have sex on average a couple of times a week tend to be happier in their relationships. So until sex robots are invented, put on Jason Derulo and get busy as much as you damn can.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. There are great sex session and then there are GREAT sex session. What to be a part of the second team? Click this link to learn new impressive moves in the bedroom.

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You may have noticed that your partner seems less than interested in sex these days. In fact, maybe it’s been a long time since she was the one who instigated sex. Or maybe your sex life was never what you hoped it would be. Maybe it has always lacked that spark and passion that you wanted it to have.

Why do women seem to be less interested in sex than men? Why are men always the ones left frustrated at the end of the day and women don’t seem to care one way or another? It can be upsetting, to say the least.

The truth is, there are a lot of factors that play into why a woman’s sex drive might be low. Some of it might be because of psychological reasons, it could be physical reasons, or sometimes it’s even emotional reasons. What can you do? Learn about some of the reasons a woman’s sex drive is being negatively affected and do what you can to change that problem. Here are 10 common ways that a woman’s libido is negatively affected and what you can do to change it:

1. A messy bedroom – Research has shown that a messy bedroom can be linked to depression and unhappiness, which can then lead to a low sex drive. Some even say that it can be more directly related to libido problems because women are easily distracted during sex to thinking about other things in their lives. What to do? Take initiative and tidy up the bedroom. Put away the clothes, make the bed, dust the surfaces, and give the room a general cleaning. She will appreciate the gesture and it will help her stay focused on the fun things that can happen in the bedroom.

2. Repressed feelings – Women, more so than men, need things to be good in their relationship in order to be interested in sex. Repressed anger is a total sex drive killer for women. Maybe she feels unappreciated. Maybe she’s annoyed that you leave your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, or maybe your problems are more serious. Either way, you need to work on resolving her anger at you if you want to have a good sexual relationship.

3. Worrying – Again, being distracted by worries and concerns about other parts of your life can easily negatively affect your sexual relationship because your mind is elsewhere. It might be impossible to solve all of your partner’s problems, but one way to help relieve some of her stress is to talk about it together.

4. High cholesterol – Recent studies have linked women who have high cholesterol with low arousal and orgasm problems. This could be because high cholesterol means there isn’t great blood flow in the genital area, which can affect sensation. What to do? Eat better. Make a pact to start eating more healthy together and then stick to it!

5. Birth control – If your partner takes birth control pills, it can mess around with her hormone levels and cause a lower level of testosterone (an important hormone when it comes to sex drive). You can talk to your partner about discussing alternative forms of birth control with her doctor.

6. Thyroid problem – If your partner has a low libido, the culprit just might be her thyroid. One of the symptoms of an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) is a low sex drive.  In order to find out if this might be an issue for your partner, she would simply have to make an appointment with her doctor, who will perform a blood test.

7. Lack of attention in your relationship – When was the last time you went on a date with your partner? Do you eat meals together? Are you both usually spending more time clicking around on your phone than talking to each other? Do you spend more time looking at the TV or the computer than into each other’s eyes? An emotional connection between you and your partner is extremely important to her sex drive. The solution here is easy. Make a commitment to spend more quality time together. Have conversations instead of vegging out in front of the TV. Plan regular date nights. Schedule times every day where you don’t use your phones or computers.

A lack of sex drive can be caused by many things, but it’s a good idea to rule out the items on this list to see if you can resolve the issue.

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about increasing female libido CLICK HERE NOW!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“It’s been a long day. I need one of those hugs that turn into sex.”

Early on in a relationship, you and your partner spend so much time in bed, there’s little point in even making it. You had passion, you had electricity, and you had sex – lots of it! Then as the months and years go by, the sex tends to fall off some and it becomes a challenge to even remember the last time you were naked together – a perfectly normal side effect of the decreased hormones that are often the result of increased closeness. Virtually all relationships go through some sort of tapering-off period, typically after 6 months to a year.

But that doesn’t mean it should nosedive until you have hardly any sex… ever. Some couples chalk up a significant decline in bedroom action to their long-term status, but that’s a big mistake. Most women have pretty decent libidos, just as men, so if there’s a lack of sex drive, it’s a clear symptom that something is going on either in her life or in your relationship.

I’ve compiled the five most common sex-drive busters and arranged them in order from the manageable to the totally dire. Start with the first, and eliminate them one by one until you figure out what’s going on. Then follow the advice for how to deal.

She’s stressed out

Feeling overwhelmed, tired, or stressed will lower a woman’s sex drive. So if she has taken on extra work at her job or has family drama swirling around her, her brain may be too fried to even thing about sex.

What to do: Don’t reveal that you’ve noticed her stress level negatively affects your sex life; if she has to think about your being unsatisfied on top of everything else, she’ll just get more anxious. Be understanding, give her a neck rub, or play some calming music when she gets home. Feeling more relaxed will allow her to think about getting it on again. Also, try and get to bed at a decent hour regularly. The biggest sex hurdle? Exhaustion! When she’s always running on too little sleep, or she doesn’t head to bed until she’s ready to drop, she’s hardly going to make love.

She’s pissed off at you

Contrary to popular belief, women don’t always rant and rave when they’re angry. Sometimes they retaliate by quietly pulling away – which can mean withholding sex. Anger is corrosive to intimacy.

What to do: Obviously, if you had a blowout before the deep freeze set in, you’ll know what’s going on. But sometimes you anger your woman without even knowing it. For instance, did you let her wait for you at the bar while you chatted with a hot friend of yours? When you make her feel bad in little ways, you need to repair the damage by stroking her ego. Flirt with her, compliment her, let her know that you need her in your life. There are few things that turn a woman on – or thaw her grumpy mood – as much as knowing that she’s desired.

She’s worried about her sexual skills

If your partner has had some trouble getting comfortable between the sheets or if she’s aware that you haven’t been completely satisfied with her overall performance during your last several sessions, her self-esteem could be suffering big time. Sex is what makes a woman feel desired, so if she’s having difficulty keeping up with your enthusiasm or thinks that you aren’t enjoying yourself, she will feel like less of a woman and may stop even trying for fear of more failure.

What to do: You’ll know she’s having performance anxiety if she’s acting normal everywhere but in the bedroom. Don’t tell her you’ve noticed she’s not the same in bed. Instead, casually mention something she does to you sexually that you’ve been craving. Being reassured that she satisfies you will boost both her ego and her libido.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. “Sorry, honey – my head is killing me”. Unless your partner suffers from debilitating migraines, it’s probably what it sounds like: a clichéd opt out. For more tips of the trade on how to arouse a dormant libido and enjoy passionate sex again, click this link.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It’s focused attention.”

No matter how well you think you know your way around a woman’s body, you can’t completely bliss her out until you clue in to these little-known pleasure principles. Allow me to explain. A woman’s body doesn’t always send blatant arousal signals. In fact, sometimes her triggers and responses can be downright subtle. That doesn’t mean they don’t count, however. Being aware of the slightest physiological changes that she’s experiencing during sex is crucial to intensifying it for her. The more you know, the more you can please her.

Since I’m sure you want to make that happen, I’ve spelled out a couple of things you might not know about female pleasure – from the spot she really needs you to touch more frequently to the very surprising way she judges how good the experience is for you. Once you clue in to these sexual truths, you’ll be able to satisfy her like never before.

She wants you to linger on her nipples

I have often pointed out that a woman’s nipples are loaded with nerves and that they deserve as much love as you can possibly give them. And they are absolutely crucial to her pleasure, with a plethora of studies showing that nipple stimulation not only enhance her arousal but also spark it. That’s because when they are stroked, the muscles surrounding her headlights stiffen and her blood vessels swell, creating a ripple effect throughout her body. Just don’t wait for her to request hot nip action: only a mere 17 per cent of women are comfortable flat-out asking for it. So take matters into your own hands… or mouth. Begin by stroking the area with the tip of your fingers. Then graduate to a gentle pinch before licking, nibbling, and slightly sucking each nipple. Any time you vary the pressure of stimulation, it keeps nerve endings on high alert, which provides a pleasurable sensation.

Her perineum begs to be stroked

It might not be the sexiest stretch of real estate on her body, but the perineum (that smooth space between her vagina and anus) is one of her hottest properties. It shares the same branch of nerves as her penis, but it’s often ignored by men, making it even more sensitive. Probe it too suddenly though and you could freak her out. Instead, do it during missionary. After you enter her, reach between her legs and tease it, applying pressure with the flat surface of your thumb or the knuckle of your index finger and move in little circles, then switch to counterclockwise, up and down. The more pressure, the more pleasure.

She craves carnal compliments early on

In the first few minutes of intercourse, she’s feeling intensely passionate, which is why she may look in utter awe of you. But she’s also feeling vulnerable and craves feedback. Tell her how sexy her breasts look or how amazing you feel inside her. Compliments are most likely to register at this stage, since her mind hasn’t yet been kidnapped by the nearing of orgasm.

She has an unexpected hot spot

During foreplay, there are little erogenous zones that you likely lavish with attention all the time – her lips, neck, maybe even her earlobes. But every woman has one erotic body part that’s rarely explored, and believe it or not, it’s her nose. Next to her lips, her nose contains more nerve endings than any other part of her face. The tissue is rich in blood vessels and nerve endings and is highly receptive to stimulation. Her nasal passages, in particular, mimic the tissues found in her clitoris. In other words, the more you stroke that sucker, the more you will increase her circulation down below. Now, I’m not saying you have to be all up in her nostrils. Simply kissing and gently nibbling on the tip is enough. Or try tracing your finger from your partner’s nose down to her abdomen and vagina and then back to the nose. This creates a sexual circuit that awakens her entire body.

The longer she lasts, the deeper her climax

While she’s deep in the throes of passion all her physiological symptoms – increased heart rate, heavier breathing, muscular tension – are at peak levels, and she instinctively wants to come. But the longer you keep her in this stage, the more powerful her orgasm will be. To help her do just that, keep an eye on her to see when she’s about to reach the brink, then stop or chose another sex position to delay her orgasm. This can be incredibly erotic for a woman. She’s not registering that you’re trying to stave her off. She just feels an ebb and flow, and each wave feels more intense than the last.

Hot embraces,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. As the saying goes, information is power. Use these lush lessons to please her like crazy. And if you’re eager to learn how to rub and caress your woman’s body in every way to get her swooning, soaking, and orgasming with delight, click this link.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

One of the things that drives me crazy is that there are so many great couples out there who really love each other, but they have horrible sex lives. Their sex lives may have been good at one point, they may have even been amazing, but they aren’t anymore. As we all know, this can pose a real threat to the happiness and stability of your relationship. Most men want to fix this issue and have more sex, but they don’t know how. This is where things get tricky. Women often have a lower sex drive than their male partners when they are in a long term relationship. This difference can leave both people feeling frustrated and hurt at times.

Most men out there want to know how to increase their partner’s desire. If you fall into this category, you should know first that it doesn’t only depend on you, but there are a lot of things you can do to help the situation. Here’s how to do it…

1. Show Your Appreciation – A woman’s sex drive is completely entwined with her feelings and emotions. If she doesn’t feel connected to you emotionally, you’re going to have a lot harder time getting her turned on. One way to connect with your partner is to make sure she feels appreciated by you. Feeling unappreciated is a big problem in long term relationships. Both people are usually guilty of taking the other person for granted in a lot of ways, but this is an especially common complaint among women. They do a lot for their men and when they don’t feel appreciated, a distance grows for them and they feel less loving and attraction. Luckily, there is something you can do about it starting right now. Start showing your appreciation for her right this very minute. Even if you think she already knows that you appreciate her, you need to tell her. Tell her everyday, even several times a day, in specific ways and general ways. Say something like, “I’m such a lucky guy to be with a woman like you,” or “Thank you so much for _____,” or “I really appreciate _______.” Start doing this every day and you will notice that your partner will be warming up to you in no time.

2. Refocus Your Attention – The longer we are in a relationship, the less we pay attention to our partners. This needs to change if you want to reignite the sexual flame. Start by committing to turning off technology for a few hours every night. Some couples like turning their phones, computers and TV off around the hours before, during and just after dinner. Others like to do so at the end of the night or in the morning. Find a time that works best for both of you. Have meals together and actually talk! You might find this hard at first if you’re really out of practice, but believe me, it will get easier. You might wonder, how will this help me have sex more? Well, everything in a relationship is interconnected. One thing affects another. You and your partner will start to enjoy each other again and reconnect on every level, even a physical one!

3. Don’t be Selfish – Even though you want to be having more sex, you also need to understand if she isn’t in the mood. If you pressure her or complain about your sex life, it will only turn her off and possibly piss her off. Try doing other physicals things that she likes, like holding hands, being affectionate, giving hugs, kissing, giving her a non sexual massage. Connecting through non sexual touch with your partner will also magically reignite her desire for sexual touch. A lot of couples start to only touch each other when it comes to sex and therefore they lose out on a lot of the intimacy in their relationship. Paying attention to being affectionate can help with that.

4. Talk – Let her know that you want to improve the intimate part of your relationship and talk to her about how she would like to do it. Make sure you talk about it at a time when neither of you are upset or angry. It can be hard to talk about sex, so be careful to choose the right time.

One last thing, you have already done more than most men by just thinking about what your partner wants and wanting to better meet her needs. Too many men just complain selfishly and don’t even think about what they can do to make a change. Good for you and have fun!

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about increasing female libido CLICK HERE NOW!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

One of the very first things you probably notice about a woman is her breasts. There are a lot of men out there that are downright obsessed with boobs, but even those that aren’t totally crazy about them admit that they are still an important part of their attraction to a woman. With all of the attention that men give a woman’s breasts, you would think that he would be all over them in the bedroom, but oddly, that’s not the case. Most men pay very little attention to women’s breasts during sex and not much more during foreplay. It’s hard to know why this happens, but one theory is that many men don’t really know what women like when it comes to breast play, so they just end up focusing on other areas instead. Unfortunately, if you do this, you’re missing out on a major pleasure center for women. The breasts are a wonderful and important erogenous zone and deserve A LOT of attention. With that in mind, here are nine things that you just HAVE to do to her breasts:

1. Know that every woman likes something different – Just like with anything, every woman likes something different when it comes to breast play and it’s your job to find out what your partner likes. Don’t assume she will like the same thing as the last woman you were with. Some women like rough play, biting and pulling on their nipples, while others might literally cringe at the thought of anything but a feather light touch. Then there are a million other things between those 2 extremes. Get to know what she likes. And just to throw you for another loop, what she likes might also depend on what point she is at her in menstrual cycle. Many women get sensitive and sore breasts and nipples before or during their period.

2. Start slow and soft – If you’re not totally sure what your partner likes when it comes to her breasts, it’s important to start slowly and softly. You can always increase the pressure, but it’s a big turn off to be too rough with a woman who’s not into that. Begin by tracing your fingers along the outer areas of her breasts. Lightly run your finger along the underside of her breasts and breathe warm hot breath over her nipples. Her breasts (not just nipples) are full of nerve endings and light touching will send heat waves right to her genitals.

3. Don’t go straight for the nipple – In fact, you want to avoid the nipple all together for a few minutes. Stroke, draw circles, kiss and lick the other parts of her breasts, but only breathe hot air over the nipples and don’t make any contact with them at all. They will be tingling with desire and she’ll be hyper aware of how they feel because she’ll be dying for you to touch them. No matter how much she seems to want you to touch her nipples, hold out for a few minutes and tease her. Believe me, it will be worth it. She’ll be soaking wet and going crazy by the time you run your tongue over them for the first time.

4. Find out what she likes by ASKING! – Most people have a really hard time talking about sex and what they like and don’t like in the bedroom. Even though it would greatly help their sexual relationship, most people don’t like the idea of talking about this aspect of sex with their partner because it embarrasses them! If you feel like that, don’t worry, you’re not alone. And even if you’re totally comfortable talking about sex, your partner might not be and that might make it difficult. So, here’s how you can talk about sex and find out what she likes and doesn’t like without making it awkward. Ask her simple questions in the moment. Things like “do you like that?” “do you want me to go softer/harder/faster/slower?” “show me where/how you like to be touched” will give you a lot of important information and if you ask them the right way, it’s more like dirty talk than interrogating her about her sexual preferences. Just be careful not to ask her too much about what she likes, or you might seem insecure in yourself and your skills. Make a point to check in with her about something you’re doing each time you’re intimate and that way you get a lot of information without asking too many questions.

Oops, sexy! We’re all out of time for today, so you’ll have to stay tuned for my next article to get the other 5 tips on the hottest breast play ever. Believe me, they’re worth it!

Kisses,
Gabrielle Moore

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about breast orgasms and pleasure CLICK HERE NOW!

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It’s generally assumed that a woman’s sex drive isn’t as strong as a man’s, and that men basically want to bang anything in a skirt. It has also been suggested that women aren’t as aggressive about sex as men. But that isn’t always the case. So what do you do if the roles are reversed? Or if she loves you, but just doesn’t feel like having sex as often as you? What do you do when you and your partner simply aren’t running the race at the same pace? While there is no hard and fast rule about why your sex drives may differ, here are a few reasons to consider.

The age gap

It’s a well-known fact that a man’s sexual peak is in his twenties while a woman’s is in her thirties – so depending on how old your partner is, you could be wanting very different things. From middle age, there is a natural decline in sexual desire and the frequency of sex for so many individuals. This period may also see a decreasing sex drive, but if you get adequate sleep and exercise, it can be improved.

Psychological factors

Sexual desire is just as much a head game as a physical one. If one of you is less sexually experienced than the other, it can affect interest in sex. In addition, conditions such as anxiety, depression and attachment disorders can impact sex drive. Other physical sexual difficulties can also lead to avoiding sex. For women, getting turned on can be a complicated thing. Issues relating to power and control, or even initiation or routine can negatively affect your sex drive. A genuine connection usually means better sex. So emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction go a long way to improve one’s sex drive.

Work vs Werk

Our work-life balance can also affect our sexual appetite. Sexual desires are heavily influenced by social, cultural, environmental and contextual factors. Traditional gender roles can heavily influence beliefs about sex. A common one is that men are entitled to sex and should aggressively initiate it, while women should be passive. This can make it difficult for women to communicate their needs equally and openly. And if either of you works long hours, this can lead to poor work-life balance. This can impact sexual intimacy and may also delay couples from seeking treatment earlier.

Let’s talk about it

Differing sex drives doesn’t have to be a huge problem in the relationship, but there’s more to solving the problem than just thinking you’ll eventually adjust. The loss of sexual intimacy is usually followed by a more general loss of intimacy. If your partner has a lower sex drive, it can be hard for her to talk about it. Women are often not able to share their concerns freely with their partner as they feel they will be misunderstood. But you also have to be aware of the fact that how frequent you have sex can and will vary. Factors like how long you’ve been together, the quality of your relationship and even your home environment can play a part. You need to communicate your concerns and desires in ways that enhance mutual understanding. Being aware of barriers that influence sexual desire, and discussing sexual preferences is a good start. It’s also important to remember that non-sexual acts of physical intimacy are just as important to maintain physical closeness between a couple.

Say what you want

Different sex drives don’t have to be the end of the world. Here’s how to talk about it.

Be respectful. Whether you’re the one who wants more sex or the one who’s being asked for it, remember it’s important to respect your partner’s wishes. That doesn’t mean giving in, but it does mean understanding that what they want is just as important as what you want.

Communicate. Talk about what your expectations are and understand what turns you and your partner on and off. It’s good to have an idea at least in theory so there’s something to discuss if anything comes up.

Don’t take it personally. Differing sexual desires are very common. Being rejected by your partner may not always be about you. Everything from sleep to stress can take its toll so it’s important to be understanding. Also remember it can be just as frustrating for your partner.

Do something different. It’s always exciting to mix things up a little to get that spark going. Book an impromptu staycation – this way, you won’t get stuck in roles you’ve inevitably fallen into.

Focus on what works. It’s also important to remember what works for the both of you. Try to reproduce and recreate those special moments – they’re bound to work again if they were that great!

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Interested in coordinating your libidos and have fiery intercourse? Click here to learn more. 

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I know very well which female body parts you guys most frequently like to explore, but there is more to your partner than a vagina, breast and butt. The largest amount of nerve endings may be packed into those areas, but a woman has pleasure sensors all over her body, and getting her in the mood may be as easy as stimulating some of these often-neglected, less-obvious spots. Incorporating touching these places into foreplay and sex, or just giving her some pleasure after a long day, will definitely earn you some brownie points. Here are the areas she most definitely dreams you showered with a little extra attention tonight.

1. The underside of her butt. The place where her thigh turns into her butt is for more than showing off under the hem of those denim booty shorts she thought were so hot circa 2007. It’s a nerve-rich area, too, and stimulating it can make for sexy foreplay. Instead of diving straight for her clitoris and give her oral, for example, you can trace one finger along it, or try light kisses or licks and then work your way to vulva territory.

2. The underboob. Cleavage is the star of many an outfit, and nipples are endlessly pinched, licked, and sucked, but the underboob goes all but unnoticed. It doesn’t have to be this way. A single finger here can feel amazing. You can also lick this area with a long stroke or in a circular motion. The skin here is super sensitive and receptive to stimulation, and what’s more, it’s so close to two tried-and-true classic erogenous zones — her nipples — that they may perk up, too.

3. The backs of her knees. Another overlooked and nerve-rich area, the backs of her knees might also benefit from some touching, kissing, or licking — or even stimulation from a vibrator if you’re feeling particularly adventurous. To up the stakes, drag a tiny pinwheel designed for sensation play, an ice cube, or a tickler from the back of her knee up her body to her more “traditional” erogenous zones. The slower you go, the more anticipation will build.

4. The inner elbows. I recommend light kisses and strokes on the thin skin here. This might feel divine to some, so-so to others, and ticklish to a few, but it’s worth finding out which camp you’re dealing with.

5. The labia. Yes, her labia are hard to miss, but they’re still often ignored. You wouldn’t think of labia as being overlooked, but so many people tend to go straight for the clitoris. Before you do that, though, try teasing the labia to increase excitement. Slowly slide your finger from top to bottom, without parting the lips, then keep going up and down, gradually increasing your pressure until you start to feel your finger slip inside. You can find this spicy technique, plus many more from the same family, in my newest program

6. The anus. More and more people are opening up to the joys of anal play, but I’d say it’s still a pretty overlooked spot. The key with anal play is to start slow: There are so many ways to enjoy this area other than penetrative sex. Check out the magical world of butt plugs (there’s a size and style for every body), experiment with fingers and mouths, and don’t forget the lube. A great way to start is to apply a tiny bit of pressure to the outside of her anus with one lubed-up finger, as you’re going down on her or fingering her.

7. The back of her neck. This is an especially sexy spot, and your partner doesn’t have to be undressed for you to access it. People pay a good amount of attention to the front and sides of the neck, but tend to forget about the back. Flip your partner over onto her belly, pull her hair up, and kiss along her hairline. Then, you can work your way down to the underside of her butt and the backs of her knees — you’re making up for all the times you forgot how good you can make her feel.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you want to learn how to master her Vagina, click here to watch my Vagina Masterclass

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FEMALE LIBIDOINCREASING FEMALE LIBIDO

How often should your partner want sex? There is no simple answer.

The question you’ve just read is only one of the many I get asked about sex. As a sex educator and author, pretty much every question I’ve been asked boils down to the same thing: ‘Am I normal?’ And the answer is often the same. ‘Yes, you’re normal. She’s normal. That’s normal, too.’

In fact, over the past 20 years, I’ve become convinced that the single biggest issue causing desire problems is that men get too focused on whether their partners want sex or not, and forget to pay attention to whether the sex that they’re having is good or not. So how can you shift your focus and maximise your sexual potential for both you and your partner? It’s actually a lot easier than you might think…

Why Sex is Not a Drive

The idea that we each have a set level of desire ranging from ‘nope’ to ‘gimme more’ is kind of basic. You might assume that apart from fluctuations depending on the newness of a relationship, your and your partner’s levels of interest in sex are fairly static.

But what if I told you that the science behind your sex drive can more accurately be described as a dual-control model of sexual response—and that it’s really not a ‘drive’ at all?

The dual-control model says that the sexual-response mechanism in your brain has two parts. First, there is an accelerator that responds to all of the sexually relevant things that are in your environment and sends a signal that says, ‘turn on!’ (this could be the smell of your partner or her touch, or even the feel of her underwear).

Second, there are sexual breaks which respond to all the very valid reasons not to want sex right now—from unwanted pregnancies to STIs, to relationship and trust issues, stress or body image worries. Difficulties with desire (or having a ‘low sex drive’), are rarely about getting too little stimulation to your accelerator. Instead, lack of desire is more often about too much ‘brake’. The good news? You can absolutely do something about it.

What Makes a Great Ride?

Once you have a sense of how sensitive your brakes and accelerator are, think about what hits them. Think of the great sex you’ve had in the past and also not-so-great sex. Consider what it was about those experiences that made it easy to want and enjoy sex. Then think about what slowed things down or got in the way. Yes, you and your partner have your own personal turn-offs, but there are other factors that affect your levels of desire and some that have little or no impact.

HORMONES: Sorry, but these probably aren’t the reason for her lack of interest in sex. Research shows that less than 10 percent of women who have difficulties with desire do so because of hormones.

MONOGAMY: Nope, it’s probably not that, either. Some monogamous couples don’t have great sex lives, and some monogamous couples do. The ones who do have two things in common: a strong friendship and making sex a priority.

STRESS: About 80 percent of us find that stress, depression, and anxiety can reduce our interest in sex. The rest of us find these issues can actually increase our interest in sex. Interestingly, this increased interest doesn’t tend to come with greater pleasure.

MOOD: Imagine she’s feeling flirty, and you start pushing all the right buttons that usually lead to sex. This could potentially spell F-U-N. But if she’s stressed and frustrated, and the same thing happens, she might want you to LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE. Same sensation + different mindset = totally different experience. Mood can really matter with sex.

SEXPECTATIONS: Some women find themselves avoiding even kissing their partners because they’re worried that a make-out session will only create an expectation of sex that they’ll then feel obligated to fulfil. If this is the case with your partner, remove sex as an option for a while so that you can enjoy simply touching—without her fearing she might disappoint you.

Removing her Brakes

So now you’ve identified what makes her slam her brakes, how do you stop them from interfering with her arousal? Pick something you can see is interfering with her desire—whether it’s her stress levels or the fact that you’re majorly getting on her nerves—and make a specific, concrete plan for dealing with it. While you’re coming up with your strategy, think through what the potential barriers could be. And then plan for what you’ll do if you encounter that barrier.

For example, if her worries about your expectations are interfering  with her sexual desire, remove them by taking sex entirely off the table. Make a rule that for a month you won’t touch each other below the waist, or even orgasm in front of each other (this is standard operating procedure for sex therapy). Instead, share touching—kissing, hugs, cuddles—without the risk of hitting your ‘What if this turns into sex I don’t want?’ brake.

Hitting her Sex Accelerator

Women, or anyone, with less sensitive accelerators and more sensitive brakes are likely to experience ‘responsive’ desire. This means that when you start kissing her neck in a sensuous way, or nibbling her earlobe just how she likes it, her body thinks, ‘Sex? That’s a good idea!’ This is not the same as ‘spontaneous’ desire, which seems to appear out of the blue, before anything apparently sexy is happening. Most of us will experience both spontaneous and responsive desire at different times in our lives. Unfortunately, many of us have been taught that spontaneous desire is the ‘best’ type—but responsive desire is just as normal and healthy. If any of this sounds like your partner, try shifting the focus away from trying to want sex, and pay attention to what kind of sensations she enjoys instead. You might find going slowly and building up to sex gradually can only be a good thing. The more you embrace pleasure and create contexts where pleasure can grow and expand, the more desire will emerge all on its own.

Hot embraces,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more juicy intel on how you can influence her libido and make her crave you 24/7, check out my program on the subject: Flesh on Flesh – Your step-by-step roadmap to jumpstarting her desire for sex.

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