Hey Lover!

Ah, secret sexual fantasies! Wouldn’t you just love to know what goes on inside her head? Well, read on and you may get a few ideas.

It is obvious with bestsellers like “Fifty Shades of Grey” that women do have fantasies and want to at least read about them, if not fulfill them. Years before “Fifty Shades”, Nancy Friday wrote a few books called “My Secret Garden” and “Forbidden Fruit” where she interviewed hundreds of women, and compiled the top sexual fantasies that women thought about in secret.

Here are eight of women’s top fantasies to give you an idea of what she may fantasize about and also some role-playing fantasies you may want to try together.

1. The Faceless Stranger

Ah, the faceless stranger. No need to define him, he is the epitome of every hot, sexy man she has ever crushed on. He is the stranger in the night who sweeps her off her feet, romances her like a Prince and then devours her like a beast. The anonymity of this fantasy reduces the relationship to a “purely physical one” says Friday, “[While] it heightens romance and adds drama; it increases pleasure and eliminates guilt, fantasy’s enemy.” No strings attached, no worries about ever meeting in person, your imagination is the only limit and almost anything could happen.

Try this: For a romantic fantasy, be her masked and mysterious lover some night and sweep her off her feet, like Cyrano de Bergerac, wooing the beautiful Roxane.

2. Surrender of Control

This is a “being taken” control of fantasy. In it, the “victim” can surrender control to her captor and become an object of desire. She doesn’t have to tell him her unspoken desires. She doesn’t need to break taboos and become the “bad” girl, for she is not responsible for her actions and therefore can be relieved of any sexual guilt. If she is held down or tied up, she is not in control of what happens to her. So she still remains a “good girl” even during the naughtiest of sex. Socially women are taught not to be promiscuous, so “rape” fantasies allow them to not be responsible for their sexual desires, and therefore they can fantasize about hot sex guilt free.

Try this: Pretend to capture her like a pirate and she is your hostage. Tie her up and do all the naughty things to her she secretly desires.

3 & 4. Dominance and Submission

Being submissive in one form or another was the biggest fantasy in Friday’s books for women. Whether it was a “surrender of control”, a rape fantasy, or being a sex slave like Anastasia in “Fifty Shades”, women still want to be in the role where the man is in control, at least in the bedroom.

“My Secret Garden” was written twenty five years ago. Since then women have supposedly won their liberation, so you would think women would desire to play more dominant roles. However, Friday says that is exactly the reason why women want to be dominated in bed: “[T]he new reality of being man’s equal makes them unconsciously nervous about their identity as women, and so throws them back into longing for the traditional, safe, and “known” role…”

Try this: This is your time to take control in the bedroom. Tell her what to do and if she fails, punish her erotically. A great scenario for this is the naughty secretary who comes to an interview with the stern, dominant boss.

5 & 6. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

Women’s fantasies of watching or being watched take many forms. Sometimes they are on display, undressing in front of a window while a Peeping Tom ravishes them with his eyes. Or, maybe they are performing sexually on a stage while an appreciative audience applauds, designating them to pure objects of desire.

Try this: Sit in a chair in a dark corner of the room, so just your silhouette is visible and get her to masturbate under a bright lamp. She will know you are there, but because she can barely see you, this will help loosen her inhibitions. Knowing you are watching her will make her HOT!

7. Spanking

Both men and women have spanking fantasies. While some enjoy it for the sake of the pain itself, many enjoy the fantasy because of the humiliation aspect it brings. Like being a naughty impertinent girl and getting her just rewards from her lover as he throws her over his knee and bares her bottom. Or, the school girl who is caned by the Head Master at school for some undeserved infraction. Spanking fantasies have become so popular that many couples enjoy this type of role playing together as a sexual pastime.

Try this: This fantasy could go together with any of the submissive fantasies above. Spanking should be fun, playful and arousing. Find out her limits (pain tolerance) and don’t go beyond that. Make sure to interrupt the spanking often with softer caresses and kneading.

8. Lesbian Sex and Threesomes

To have fantasies of being with another woman doesn’t necessarily make a woman a lesbian or bisexual. Many “straight” women enjoy these fantasies. The allure of being with the opposite sex is undeniable: the desire of touching soft flesh so similar to their own, or the taboo aspect of it. Or, having sex with you and another woman could be a big turn on for her.

Try this: You may not have the opportunity to have a lesbian drop over to have sex with your partner. And, you and she may not even want this in reality. There are lots of hot sexy lesbian adult films (or 3-somes), however, that you could watch together, to get the imagination flowing. Then, talk dirty while you have sex, telling her what the “other” girl is doing to her.

Do All Women Fantasize Sexually?

From Nancy Friday’s research, we can assume that all women do have fantasies in some form or another. Sometimes a woman’s fantasy is something she will want to keep secret and never want to try in real life. However, with Fifty Shades’ popularity, women are now giving themselves permission to explore their fantasies more and more.

So, while I don’t encourage you to jump her in a dark alley, I do invite you to talk to her about her sexual fantasies.

Maybe you will both find something interesting to explore together!

Kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. To not only know about her fantasies but to give her an incredible night, click here to check out my program – Vagina Masterclass. It contains crucial information on how to give her amazing orgasms.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Hey Lover!

Do you want to rock her world and inspire her erotic abandon?

If you feel you lack the ability or confidence to please your gal in the bedroom, then I am here to help.

Here are four simple ways you can learn how to become a rock star in the bedroom.

1. Become a Sexpert Lover

A sexpert lover is someone who is continually seeking knowledge about all the amazing and diverse ways to have sex and pleasure their partners.

To become a sexpert lover you need to:

• Take courses or workshops either online or in person on various sexuality subjects.
• Read how-to sex-ed books, e-books and watch videos on how to be great in bed.
• Practice what you learn on your partner so you can hone your skills.
• Get constant feedback from your partner and learn how to improve
• Be open and creative and willing to try new things.

My challenge to you is to pick one new area of sex play that you don’t know much about each month, learn the techniques and try them out on your partner. Choose from G-spot and female ejaculation, Tantra or erotic massage, anal sex, oral sex, foreplay techniques and so much more!

2. Be Creative

Being a creative lover has a lot to do with learning. By learning new skills and different ways to make love, you will build a repertoire of techniques and ways to pleasure her. Instead of the same old boring routine sex moves, you will have numerous ways to give her stimulation.

Becoming a creative lover will:

• Remove the boredom and routine from the bedroom.
• Keep her in suspense so she is always erotically charged.
• Keep your sex life spicy, adventurous and fun!
• Give you many tools to fall back on if you ever draw a blank as to what to do next during your lovemaking.

Here are some ideas on how to be more creative.

Do one new thing each time you have sex. This doesn’t have to be a whole guidebook of tricks, but just one simple move like a new fingering technique, or new oral sex move. Or, try stimulating another part of her body that you usually neglect.

Be spontaneous. Try sex in different places, at different times of the day. Grab her in the shower for a quickie in the morning. Seduce her in the kitchen while she is making supper. Have sex on the washing machine while the wash is in spin cycle. There are so many opportunities to get it on.

Being creative means having an open mind. So, try new types of sex. What about a sex toy to spice it up? How about some kinky ideas from Fifty Shades of Grey? Tantra sex? Fast and furious? Slow and romantic? Naughty sex? Try new things, change it up and be creative!

3. Get Feedback

Communication is the key to great sex. So, while you do want to surprise her with new things and be spontaneous, make sure she is on the same page as you are. In other words, don’t just stick a finger up her butt unless you have already discussed and agreed upon having anal sex.

But, how do you keep it spontaneous while communicating about wants, needs, desires and consent?

You go over a possible checklist (or create a sexy bucket list) of the kinds of sex you want to explore together. Next, talk about each activity in depth and then save them for when you want to try out something new. This will give you plenty of sexy activities to choose from.

During your sexual explorations, you need to both communicate on what is working and what is not. Tune into her body language. Encourage her to give you verbal cues.

Talk about sex afterwards. Find out what really turned her on and flew her to the moon. And, also, what things you can improve on. Tell her what made you hot. Be open! Communication is sexy!

4. Take Control in the Bedroom

Oh God Yes!

Every woman wants a guy to take control in the bedroom. She may never ask for it, or even seem like she wants to be submissive in day to day life. But in the bedroom, women crave a confident, sexy, take-charge kind of guy.

So, if you are not very confident, how do you get there? By following the 3 steps above you are half way there! Becoming a sexpert, being creative and learning what she wants will make you more confident. Use that confidence to allow your masculinity to come out and conquer her.

Claim her physically. Do this by putting your arm around her, or holding her hand in public. Letting her (and everyone else know) she is yours.

Initiate sex in a bold way. I’m not saying to be overly aggressive, here. But, you can push her forcefully up against a wall. Press your full body to hers as you hold her wrists and then whisper in her ear what you want to do with her. Hot!

Tell her what to do. Tell her how hot she makes you and how sexy she is. Then tell her you want her to take her clothes off nice and slow and give you a show. Tell her to come here and straddle your hips as you pull her down on top of you.

Hold her wrists down during sex. Many women love it when a man holds her arms above her head and ruts her like a stallion. While you are doing this talk dirty to her and tell her how you are going to make her come again and again. Whoa! It’s getting hot in here isn’t it?

So there are some tips on how to become a rock star in the bedroom. Stay tuned, keep learning new sexy techniques, and make sex the ultimate adventure.

Kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. – If you’re interested also in learning one of my favorite positions click here: Reverse Cowgirl Domination!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“’Sex’ is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.”  -Marquis de Sade

After spending a good deal of yesterday on my social media accounts I was left thinking about the way that we tend to compare our lives to others. Humans have always done it, but now in the age of social media and very little personal privacy every part of our lives end up on display. One can’t help but compare themselves to others. He has a better job, a bigger salary, a fancier car, a better vacation, is having better sex… wait, do we do it with sex and relationships too? ABSOLUTELY. This is probably the thing that we compare the most. That couple looks happier than we are, the touch each other more, “I bet their sex life is amazing,” they’re more in love, etc. etc. etc. It’s impossible to know if any of that is really true, but one thing is for sure, there is always someone who has it better, so stop comparing right now and focus on what you’re lucky enough to have. And I have something extra special for today’s article. I’m going to let you in on some of the sex secrets from the couples who DO have the best sex, the kind you would be jealous of. But you can have it too if you just follow their best tips.

1. Make love to get love

Especially for women, the more they have sex, the more interested in sex they are. The more you have sex, the more connected as a couple you will feel and the more turned on by each other you will feel. This applies to sex and all other forms of intimacy within the couple. Put the effort in. Sometimes one person might not feel like having sex or being intimate, but the other does. Desire doesn’t always have to be the first stage of a sexual encounter. Sometimes you (or she) might start foreplay with little desire, but once you get into it, it’s just as good as ever.

2. Be spontaneous

If there is one thing women hate it’s the same boring old routine. No matter how many times that sex move got her off, the 100th time you do it in a row, she’s bound to be sick of it by then. Surprise her. Surprise her with new tricks and moves in the bedroom. Surprise her with sex at a different time of day. Surprise her with sex in a different part of the house, in a different place altogether. Pull her down an alley, push her up against the wall and kiss her like you did when you first met. What you shouldn’t do is – off to bed, roll over, sex for 10 minutes, kiss, love you, goodnight! Get creative and change it up, men!

3. Do what works

Even though you need to be creative and keep things interesting, you don’t have to feel like you need to try anything that either of you aren’t comfortable with. If in an effort to spice things up you found yourself in a sex club and both of you wanted to bolt the minute you walked in the door, you may have gone too far. Keep things exciting, but remember to do what turns you on, you don’t need to be the kinkiest couple in town, if that’s not your bag.

4. Communicate

Tell her what you like. Ask her what she likes. Tell her how incredibly sexy you think she is. Tell her how good that feels. Tell her what a lucky guy you are. We tend to think that our partners already know how much we love and appreciate them, but you’d be surprised to know that most women in relationships feel underappreciated. You need to make sure your woman knows how much you value here, in the bedroom and out. She will reward you, believe me.

5. Don’t pressure her

You may have read about a hot new thing on Gabrielle Moore and are just dying to try it, but she’s not so keen. Pressuring her into doing it isn’t going to give you the experience you want. In fact, never put pressure on her or guilt her when it comes to your sexual relationship. This creates really negative feelings and that’s the last thing you want her associating with sex. Accept her for who she is.

As you can see, having an amazing sex life isn’t just about having the best moves and techniques. It’s also about paying attention to and cultivating the relationship. You can’t have one without the other. Give your lady some extra attention and loving this week and see how she reacts!

Wet kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced about fingering and oral tips and techniques, check out my program Double Fingering Delight where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Hey big guy!

After a particularly hot weekend in a log cabin I got to thinking about how to incorporate my amazing experience in an article for you. That’s when it came to me. What’s the best way to reignite the fire in a relationship? Getting some one on one, relaxing time together and away from home. Everyone needs a little vacation now and then and when you can mix that with some alone time with your partner in a romantic setting, it’s a big win. This will give you the chance to reconnect with each other and dedicate the whole weekend to making love. We’ll call it a sex-cation. Here are the elements you need to make it happen:

Get out of town

The ideal place to go would be somewhere remote. Think log cabin in the woods with a cozy fireplace and no cell phone service. If the weather allows and your lady is game, you could consider camping. A secluded beach is another great option, especially if it’s off season. You’re looking for a location that doesn’t have a lot of people or tons of places to go besides the great outdoors. This weekend is about being together so outside distractions are not welcome.

*Budget option – Stay home, but tell everyone you’ll be out of town in order to guarantee you won’t have any surprise visitors. Get a sitter for the kids (if you have them). Draw the curtains closed. Turn your cell phones off. Disconnect your computers. And then make an adult fort in your living room with pillows and blankets.

Disconnect

Even if you’re not able to completely turn off all technology make a pact that you will only answer emergency calls or texts. You won’t do emailing or anything having to do with the Internet. You can afford to disconnect for just one weekend. Your relationship will thank you. If you absolutely cannot disconnect completely, designate a small chunk of time in the morning when you are allowed technology and then turn it off for the rest of the day.

Have sex outside

That’s right. This sex-cation just got a lot more interesting. This is why it’s important to pick a secluded spot for your weekend getaway. Here are a few hot outside sex positions to try:

* Up against a tree – Prop her up against a tree and have her wrap her legs around you. You will hold her up and thrust from a standing position. It’s best if she’s wearing a skirt or dress to give you easy access. Keep her shirt on to protect her back from the rough bark of the tree and take it nice and slow and sensual. This is also a great position to give her oral sex. Lift up her skirt and go to town.

Stayed home? If you don’t have a private backyard then recreate this inside. Prop her up against the front door instead. Get her completely naked since there is no concern about scratching her back. Doing it right at the front door will bring in an element of naughtiness and the fear that anyone could burst in at any time and discover you.

* On a rock – Find a comfortable looking rock or tree stump. Sit down on it and have your partner sit on your lap and wrap her legs around your waist as you enter her. Have her lean back to access her clitoris and get a great view. The more naked you’re willing to be outside the hotter and more dangerous this will feel.
Stayed at home? Prop her up on the laundry machine and hit the spin cycle. the vibrations from the laundry machine will feel amazing and it will be exciting to bring sex outside of the bedroom.

* On a blanket – Try out your favorite bedroom sex position but with the sky above you and nature all around. Put down a blanket to make sure you’ll be comfortable and relatively safe from bugs.
Stayed at home? Crawl into your fort and go crazy on each other.

Have sex indoors

This weekend getaway should be all about reconnecting with each other, so try to have sex and be intimate as much as possible. Remember that cuddling, massage, touching, oral sex and simply talking to each other are all forms of intimacy that are extremely important in a relationship. Here are a couple fun ways to get sexy inside:

* Make a no clothes rule – Insist that you both have to be naked, or at least in your underwear, at all times when indoors.

* Flashlight play – Turn off all the lights and take turns using a flashlight to point to areas of your body that you want your partner to stimulate. Have her start. Each time she shines the light, devour that area with caresses, kisses, licks, and sucking. This is not only fun and sexy, it will also help you learn a lot about what your partner likes in the bedroom and in what order.

I think you’re ready for your sex-cation. Have a blast!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about sex tips for couples CLICK HERE NOW!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

There are times when we just can’t be with our partners as much as we’d like. This might be the case if you’re in a long distance relationship, travel a lot for work, or just have a generally busy schedule. I’d be lying to you if I said your relationship won’t suffer from too much time away from each other, but most of the time there is nothing you can do about the distance. If that’s your case then you will need to work extra hard to make the most of the time your are away from each other. This doesn’t just have to be lost time. If you do things right then that time away from one another won’t hurt you, it can actually make the relationship stronger and spicier! Here’s what you have to do…

1. Master the art of video/phone sex

You’re going to have to get creative here. If you can’t physically touch her, you need a way to stay on her mind. A sexy video chat or phone conversation can be just the thing that gets her blushing and thinking about you all the next day until she’s back in your bed again. Don’t forget to set the mood, just like you would in your own home. You wouldn’t expect her to be turned on by you while you’re in a messy room, unshowered and wearing a dirty old t-shirt, would you? Put a little effort into your appearance and your surroundings so her first thought when she sees you is how much she wishes she was curled up next to you.

*Remember to look right into the camera sometimes. Looking at the camera will be “looking into her eyes” or as close as you can get to it in your situation! This will increase the intensity of the moment.

* As eager as you might be to get right into dirty talk, start with regular chat about what’s going on with each of you. Taking care of all parts of the relationship are important when one of you is away and connecting on a personal level is especially important to women.

2. Send her a sexy gift

Forget the flowers this time. Send her some sexy lingerie or a bra and panty set that you really love. Ask her to wear it for you the next day. If she’s up for it she can even send you a special pic modeling your gift, or you can just wait for your video chat that night. You’ll both get excited knowing that she’s wearing what you bought for her.

3. Master the art of sexting

A suggestive text can go a long way to get your partner thinking about you. Sexting could be anything from full on, hardcore dirty talk, to sending naked pictures, to more softcore, suggestive texts. It doesn’t have to include sending naked pictures of yourself if you don’t want it to. If you do, make sure you get the OK from your partner first. You don’t want to catch her off guard with a naughty pic. That might end up being more of a turn off than anything else. It’s always a good idea to warm up even if you want things to get really hot and heavy. Sending something as simple as, “I wish you were sharing this big, empty bed with me right now” is not only a sweet thing to say but it gets her imagining herself there with you and what you two would be doing.

4. Control her pleasure virtually

Technology is an amazing thing. Did you know there are all kinds of sex toys that can be controlled virtually? There are toys that you can control with your phone. This can bring your video sex chat to a whole new level. It will really feel more like you’re there with her. There is even a pair of vibrating panties that you can control with your phone. If she’s game she can put them on and you can give her a buzz anytime throughout the day that you’re thinking of her. How exciting is it that you could give her an orgasm from miles away?

Taking care of your sexually intimate relationship while you’re away from each other not only builds intimacy, but it also can make things even hotter when you finally get to see each other. But don’t forget to also pay attention to the emotionally intimate part of your relationship when you’re away. It’s just as important, so be sure to send romantic and thoughtful texts, emails, calls and gifts just as often.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. – If you also want to learn how to give her Explosive Ejaculation Orgasms, click HERE. 

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Sometimes a couple just finds themselves in a rut. No matter how much they want to get out of it and reconnect with each other, they just can’t. They’re stuck. This might sound familiar to you. You may be in that exact place right now. Maybe you have been there before and don’t want to go back. It’s not fun when you feel distance between you and your partner. You want to get things back on track but it’s often hard to know where to begin. Since there is often a lot of pressure in these kinds of situations, the best thing you can do is have fun! But how? Today I’m sharing with you a list of fun, sex games that you can use to have fun together again, reconnect and rekindle that fire that has been burning too dimly recently. And even for those couples who aren’t experiencing any kind of distance, these games are a way to make sure that the attraction and excitement in your sexual relationship stays at an all time high. Some of these games are a bit silly, but that’s the idea! You should be having fun together and once you’re able to laugh together again, you’ll be connecting in other ways too.

1. Naughty Cards

Get a regular deck of cards and get ready to have some fun. Each suit should represent a different action. For example, hearts could represent kissing, spades could represent licking and sucking, diamonds could represent stroking and massaging, and clubs could represent tickling and teasing. Each number will represent a different spot on the body. For example an ace would be somewhere on the face, a two would be the neck, and so on as you move down the body up to the jack. The other face cards are wild cards. If you pick a queen she gets to choose where on the body will be stimulate. If someone picks a king, you decide!

2. Sexy Trivia

For this one you should both be naked or only partially clothed. Stand on opposite sides of the room from one another. Take turns asking the other person a question about you (for example, what is my favorite food?). When the other person answers correctly they can take a step closer. You can add another fun element that the person who answers wrong also has to remove a piece of clothing for each wrong answer.

3. Dirty Scavenger Hunt

Hide some sex toys, lingerie and other sexy items (lube, handcuffs, a blindfold, etc) around the house and make a scavenger hunt out of finding them. Each time an item is found you have to use it for 5 minutes.

4. Strip Blackjack

Strip poker is an old classic, but it’s fun and it builds up sexual tension as each piece of clothing falls to the floor. If you both know the game well, allow each other to double down or raise bets to make things more interesting and watch the clothing drop even faster!

5. A Naughty To Do List

On a day when you would normally be cleaning the house and taking care of errands add some sexual items to that boring old to-do list that you and your partner MUST complete by the end of the day.

6. Guess That Sensation

Use a variety of objects to tease and touch her while she is blindfolded. For example, use a feather to trace little circles all over her body, on her inner thighs and over her nipples. She has to try to guess what object you’re using without peaking. (Other objects to try could be a chain necklace, a silky scarf or tie, whipped cream, an ice cube, etc.).

7. 20 Fantasy Questions

This isn’t your typical game of 20 questions. In 20 questions or less your partner has to guess what fantasy you’re thinking about. After you have both guessed correctly you can even try role playing the fantasy (if both parties are up for it, of course!).

8. Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare has always had a naughty element to it. Let her choose whether she wants a truth or a dare, if she doesn’t want to answer or do the dare, she can opt for the other, but then she has to do it. Remember that you want to keep this fun, so don’t ask her about things that will upset one of you (for example, don’t ask about things she’s done with past partners, that will always end badly!). Also don’t dare her to do things that you know she doesn’t want to do (for example, don’t dare her to do anal if you know she’s not into it).

Have fun playing, boys!
Fidan Paula

P.S. – If you also want to learn how to keep your erection all the games CLICK HERE to watch Unbreakable Erections. 

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace.” -Roberto Bolaño

The other day over lunch a good friend of mine came to me with a question, “what is the deal with sex swings?” She had been told by another friend that a swing had changed her life and improved her orgasms a ton. Obviously my friend was intrigued. Sex swings used to be something you only found at sex clubs and those who were a little more conservative might have never crossed paths with one or even heard of the contraption. But these days sex swings are more accessible to anyone who is interested. You can even buy them on Amazon. They aren’t that expensive and they can be set up and taken down in your home and no one would be the wiser that you had one. Swings allow couples to try new positions and experience new heights of pleasure. Could a sex swing be for you? Read on to find out…

Sex swing users have been quoted to say:

“When I finally got to try the swing out I was hooked, it was sensational for getting head with me able to spread my legs and give the guys easy access.”

“This is the best investment you will make in the bedroom. Hands down. I have been with my partner for over a decade so we always like to experiment with everything when it comes to playing beneath the sheets. This is 10 times more comfortable, fun and exciting as a bed a wall or the floor could ever hope to be. The possibilities seem endless with furniture and different toys.”

“For sex the swing was sensational, with be feeling almost weightless I was able to manoeuvre myself to take a deep and hard fucking.”

Benefits

In a sex swing your partner (or you) is completely suspended in the air with all of your weight supported. Some swings also come with stirrups attached so that the person can easily spread their legs while still be supported fully. A swing allows for access to the whole body at many different angles. You can access and hit different spots and erogenous zones with ease and without awkwardly flopping around the bed. Some couples with back problems and arthritis have even said that the swing helps them have an even better sex life because they are supported and therefore more comfortable. Some couples enjoy the submissive nature of being in the swing and being at the mercy of their partner. This toy also just feels naughty, knowing you have a whole device in your home devoted just to pleasure!

Types of Swings

1. Door Frame Swing – This sex swing hangs from your door frame. One of the big benefits here is that it can easily be put up and taken down. This is beneficial to couples with children or who are concerned about someone seeing their swing. It can also hold a good amount of weight.

2. Ceiling Anchor Mounted Swing – This swing is mounted by an anchor into your ceiling or a beam in your home. It can hold even more weight and the swing can be taken down when not in use. The anchor point would still be visible so some users have suggested using some kind of other decoration to cover it, so it won’t be visible and obvious to guests.

3. Stand Alone Frame – This type of swing is the most expensive and the one that takes up the most room, but it has its benefits as well. Many feel that it provides the most amount of options for playing and is the sturdiest. This would be an ideal option for someone who was able to leave it set up in their home.

Recommendation* Get a swing that offers butt or back support. There are some that come without it, but you will tire more quickly or they might just be much less comfortable.

Construction

It’s also very important to consider the construction and materials of a swing. Even though a swing might seem like a big investment to some, you want to resist the urge to cut corners and get a cheaper model. The quality of the materials will affect the construction, safety and usability of the swing and will obviously affect your experience. Therefore a good swing should have strong materials to hold more weight than you think you need. Some good materials that the rest of the swing (seat and stirrups) could be made out of include: nylon webbing, canvas, leather, or evenly layered latex or rubber.

Now that you have the low down on sex swings it’s time to try one for yourself, if you’re up to the challenge that is!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. For an in-depth guide on how to master her Vagina, click here to watch Vagina Masterclass…

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“I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world.” Jeanette Winterston

One of the hottest fantasies out there is having sex in water. It feels absolutely amazing to be completely naked in water. The wetness and the feeling of it all combined with the taboo nature of doing it in an uncommon place is just really thrilling, but unfortunately water sex doesn’t always end up being all it’s cracked up to be. Even if it feels okay for you, it doesn’t mean that your partner is loving it. Good lubrication is an important part of good sex, but in the water all that slippery goodness just gets washed away and leaves the woman too squeaky clean. Plus most people don’t know that sex submerged underwater actually isn’t good for women at all. So here is how to get all that sexy wetness, while still having great sex.

What You Need To Know

1. If you are having sex in a pool you should know that the chemicals used to keep the pool clean can negatively affect the condom. Same goes for hot water, which you want to consider if you’re in a jacuzzi or bathtub. There hasn’t been enough research done on this to know exactly how much the condom is affected, but do you really want to take that chance? I’m guessing not. You also should be careful because condoms can slip off more easily in water, so make sure that yours stays in place and have a couple extra on hand in case you run into problems.

2. As I mentioned before, lubrication is absolutely necessary for good sex. Water, sadly, just washes all her natural lubrication and any artificial lubrication you might have used, however if you use a silicone lubricant then it won’t wash away as easily with the stream of water (remember we’re not talking about submerged sex here).

3. Water going in and out of her vagina (especially in pools or other public water areas) can cause damage and infection, so again, it’s not a good idea to have sex completely submerged in water.

The Positions

So if you can’t have sex submerged then how can you do it? Here are the wet and wild positions that I recommend:

1. This first position can be used in a variety of different settings. The man lies down on his back in low standing water. Water should only come halfway up his body so that his penis won’t be submerged. This could be a good position for the ocean, the top step of a pool or jacuzzi and even your bathtub if you have enough room and can get the positioning right. You will prop yourself up on your elbows so your head isn’t submerged and to be able to position your body more securely. Your partner will lower down on your penis facing away from you and use your pelvis or thighs to steady herself. You can also try other variations of the woman on top depending on what works for the space you have.

2. This next position is perfect for a pool or jacuzzi. You will stand in the shallow end so that your crotch will line up perfectly with hers as she lies on the edge of the pool with her legs hanging over the edge. She’s straddles you and you do your thing with a great view of her in front of you.

3. Now let’s talk about a few shower positions. Some of us don’t have regular access to a pool, jacuzzi or ocean and even you did, you might not be comfortable having sex out in the elements. Shower sex can be just as hot and with the foreplay of soaping each other up and methodically washing each other you will be dying for it within 5 minutes! Try a standing position facing each other with your back to the stream of water. She will lift one leg and wrap it around your body. You can also try standing doggy style, having her bend over while you take her from behind. In any of these shower positions, try to keep the stream of water from rinsing away the lubrication.

4. Let’s not forget about oral sex. This can be done anywhere, just find the best position that works for you.

5. Finally if you find that water sex is just too difficult to navigate then it still doesn’t mean that you can enjoy water play. Use it as foreplay. Go skinny dipping, making out in the water while letting your slippery bodies slide all over each other. Go down on each other and use that slippery soap to run your hands all over each others’ bodies. Once you can’t handle it anymore, hop out of the water and onto each other!

Have fun getting wet,
Fidan Paula

P.S. For more information about using your tongue in hot new ways, check out my program on the matter – Oral Rapture.

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Almost everyone out there has a little bit of voyeur / exhibitionist in them. There is something about being watched that is a huge turn on. And at the same time there is something about watching that is also naughty and taboo. There is a fun and sexy way that you can do both with your partner. Yes, I’m talking about making your own “home video.” However, if the media has taught us anything in recent years, it’s that making a sex tape is risky business. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it, but you need to make sure you take the right precautions and make a fun, sexy video at the same time. Here are my suggestions:

The Camera

You might not think it’s important, but the camera that you use is going to play a big role in how successful this home video will be. You want to use a fairly good quality camera so that when you watch the video later on, you will be able to see yourselves clearly. Avoid using a webcam since it will be hard to get the right angle and they are usually not great quality.

The Angle

You don’t need to be a film director to make a home video, but it doesn’t hurt to think about the angle of your shot when making a sex tape. For example, anything shot from below isn’t going to be the most flattering angle for either one of you. You want something that is close enough that you can see it’s you and at just the right angle to show a sexy shot of what’s going on. Consider using a small table top tripod to help you set the camera up. It’s also fun to take turns filming each other. Pass her the camera and see what she wants to film you doing. Then you can take a turn.

Her Permission

This should go without saying and I’m sure none of my dear readers would ever consider filming their partner without her permission, but just in case, don’t forget to make sure she is 100% on board for the sex tape before hitting record.

Make an Agreement

It probably sounds fun and spontaneous to whip out the camera one night and suggest a sexy tape, but I actually suggest talking things through before you get started. One of the things you should decide is what will be done with the tape after you’ve created it. Some couples agree that one person can hang on to with the agreement that they won’t show it to anyone and they will destroy it if the couple ever breaks up. Another idea is that you keep the video around for a limited amount of time, let’s say a month. You can use it to watch and get each other turned on for that month, then delete it forever. If you like it you can always make another one!

Set the Mood

It’s not the sexiest part of the video, but you should take some time to make sure your scene is clean and orderly. You don’t want her getting distracted by the pile of laundry she asked you to put away 10 times. On that same note, aside from making sure your space is clean and in order, you also want to pay attention to your personal grooming. Remember, you’re going to be on the big screen!

Lighting

Lighting is important when it comes to your video. In order to be able to see everything you want to see, you’re going to have to have good lighting. The room will have to be well lit or else everything will come out grainy and out of focus. However, you don’t want florescent lighting or something so bright that it will show every little imperfection. I suggest doing a test run with your camera to see just where to put the lights and how bright they need to be.

Plan the “Script”

You don’t want to actually have a script or be too strict about what you’re going to do, but there are a few important things to keep in mind. You should at least have a general idea of what you want to do, and have discussed anything you don’t want to do. Don’t try out any fancy positions or moves you have never done before because it will likely come out looking awkward. Try to be as natural as possible (ignoring the fact that there is a camera filming you!). Don’t over plan what you want to do either, go with the flow and have fun.

Follow these easy steps to make sure that your sex tape making experience is hot and sexy!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To last as long as you want on this video, check out my “Last Longer Tonight” program HERE. 

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After the release of the book series 50 Shades of Grey and the movie release, many men and women who otherwise knew very little about BDSM had their interest peaked. Before this, BDSM was something that many people either knew absolutely nothing about or they had very low opinions about it (many times because they knew nothing about it!). Whether or not 50 Shades is an accurate or healthy portrayal of BDSM is another debate, but one thing is for sure, more couples are showing interest in introducing some kink into their sexual relationships. That’s where I come in. If you knew nothing about BDSM before, it’s time to learn a little before throwing yourself in head first. What might seem like a kinky free for all, is actually nothing of the sort. Couples and individuals who practice BDSM are often more sexually responsible than their non-kinky counterparts because they have to be. The rules have to be set and clear in order for people to trust in their partner and enjoy themselves. Here’s how to get started:

*Remember that* 50 Shades and other forms of erotica or pornography are fiction. Because they are fiction, the writer needs to make the story more interesting and exciting to the reader. Often times being responsible is not a sexy part of erotica, so it just gets left out, or assumed.

Communication and Trust

In true BDSM communication and trust are absolute essentials. For example, during play a couple might decide that the word “no” doesn’t actually mean no, but in order to agree on this safely, the couple will use a safe word (or another word that means stop or no that they can use if things are getting too intense). They will also have outlined what they are okay with and what they are not okay with before starting. For example, one person is okay with spanking, but not okay with whipping. If one person is not okay with something that the other person is okay with, it automatically is eliminated from the play.

Submissive doesn’t mean weak

Many people who know nothing of BDSM think that the submissive person in a dominant/submissive relationship is the weak person. That actually isn’t true at all. A submissive just gets off on giving up their control to a trusted partner for a period of time that is well mapped out by the couple. Some submissives could be the toughest, most no-nonsense people you know. That might even be why giving up the control is so sexy!

Take it slow

Start with a few things that interest you and don’t feel the need to jump into the deep end. Do your research about BDSM on reliable websites in order to learn how it really works. Experiment with your partner and then communicate about what you like and don’t like. If you’re both new to it then you will need to do a lot of communicating to make sure both of you are happy and comfortable with what is happening.

BDSM relationships are not what you might think

From the outside you might think that a BDSM relationship is not loving and movies like 50 Shades don’t help to portray those relationships accurately. The truth is that those relationships can be extremely loving but they don’t necessarily have to be either. Some people engage in a BDSM relationship that are not in love too.

There is a lot to learn

There is a lot to BDSM play and there is a lot of information out there on the internet. There are websites, books and programs from people who know their stuff and are eager to teach those who want to learn. Make sure you do your research and learn, not only what BDSM is all about, but also about how to safely do different acts and use certain toys and tools.

Start with… If you’re completely new to kink, try some of these toys:

* silk scarves – You can use these to slide over and tickle her body, then use them to tie her wrists together or her wrists and ankles to the bed posts.

* spanking paddle – There are many kinds of paddles out there. Choose something more modest in the beginning and give her light spankings and rub and massage the spot after each spank.

* blindfold – increase her arousal and sensation by using one of those silk scarves to blindfold her.

Have fun!
Fidan Paula

P.S. To learn also how to last longer in bed, click here to watch my Last Longer Tonight program. 

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