During the first few months of a relationship, a couple can usually be found in one of two places: her bedroom or his. And for good reason: During that delicious early phase of dating, the sex is ultranew, ultrafrequent, and in many cases, ultrahot.

But the searing level of heat is bound to begin to cool at some point. The initial rush of hormones calms down and when that shift happens, it’s hard not to be bummed. Thankfully, it’s not a sign that the chemistry has evaporated – just a reminder that, to keep your lust life scorching long term, you have to expend a little erotic energy. Here is my erotic advice on how to behave like a true alpha male and keep the passion ignited continuously.

Treat each other like lust objects

There’s this idea that being in love means always having romantic sex. But the truth is that urgent, animalistic sex is just as important in a relationship as the kind where you look into each other’s eyes. So channel your inner sex god like you did in the early days of dating. Send her a steamy text during the workday that lets her know how much you’re dying to get your hands on her. The next time you see each other, you’ll both be raring to pounce. When it comes to doing the deed, manufacture a sense of urgency. Grab her while she’s getting something out of the fridge and playfully slam her against the door, or give her some unexpected (but very welcome) company in the shower. The element of surprise will help reignite the excitement you felt during the first few months.

Carve out carnal time

If you’ve been together for a while now and you get horizontal less often, you need to start discovering “maintenance sex” (don’t worry, it’s hotter than it sounds.) Maintenance sex means making a conscious effort to jump each other on a regular basis – even if sometimes it feels you’re both not necessarily in the mood at the time. You’ll notice that once your bodies start going through the sexy motions, your brains will get in on the action too. So instead of channel surfing/snuggling in front of the TV to unplug after long days at work, start making out. Then slowly start peeling off each other’s clothes. Another suggestion: even if neither of you are morning people, set the alarm early to have a 10-minute quickie before work that will leave you both giddy for the rest of the day. Then try it again the next day or the day after. Just make sure you don’t skimp on foreplay. Maintenance sex isn’t going to be satisfying if you always rush into intercourse. You need to make time to arouse each other physically first. That allows for the desire part of the equation to catch up.

Move out of your comfort zone

If dirty talk was never part of your repertoire, whisper some lascivious words to her during sex. You’re creating a sex language that’s only for the two of you. Also, aim for cautious spontaneity, such as getting it on in your locked bedroom while your party guests are downstairs or doing it in the car, even if it’s just in your driveway. Explore a position that you and your partner may have felt was a little taboo or tricky but that you are totally curious about. Or incorporate sex toys into your sack sessions, like bringing an egg-shaped vibrator to bed so you can give her a tantalizing buzz. Pushing the envelope may feel awkward at first, but it really pays off. That initial rush of hormones you both experienced at the beginning of your relationship may have faded, but you can always rerelease their effects by creating a sense of excitement and desire for each other.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. If you want to lear how to make one of my favorites positions EVER, click here.

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Since I receive so many queries from you guys, I figured it’s time I started a regular column containing no bullshit responses to the stuff you can only, well, ask me. So here it goes, hope you find this helpful.

“My partner and I always have quickies, which is fine when you’re in a rush, but how do I make the process last longer?”

There are plenty of hot ways to slow-jam your sex sessions. After all, in a recent Trojan survey, the majority of women said that sex was most pleasurable when it lasted longer than 30 minutes. To draw out the sexual experience, try to reframe what you consider sex. Think of it as anything and everything erotic that occurs before, during and after penis in the vagina. That can mean whispering hot things while giving her a massage, taking an extra 10 minutes just to make out, or trying a semi-kinky toy, like a blindfold or a set of handcuffs. Taking your SAT (translation: sweet-ass time) will make sex totally worth the time.

“My girlfriend loves nipple play, but I’m totally clueless. Help!”

Even though nipples are often neglected, stimulating them can send happy sensations throughout her breasts. Research shows it also activates the same brain region associated with her clitoris, vagina, and cervix. And playing with her nipples releases that feel-good hormone, oxytocin. To ease into your boob game, start slow by massaging her entire breast, then move to the nipples with touching and light pinching. As you increase the pressure, check in and ask, “Does that feel good?” Same with your mouth. Start licking, then go to sucking, then maybe a little biting. As you work your mammary magic, be sure to ask her for feedback.

“What to do if a condom cones off inside of my partner?!”

First things first: Don’t panic. If you can, gently remove the condom with your fingers. If it’s really stuck up in there, make an appointment ASAP with a gyno or visit an urgent-care center for help extracting it. And no shame: doctors get called all the time to remove condoms. To prevent pregnancy, visit a pharmacy for a non-description Plan B for your lady, a one time pill that works best when taken within 72 hours of sex. Then tell your partner about the last time you were checked for STIs; to stay safe, she’d better get herself tested either way. Sure, it’s not a fun experience in the moment (or ever), but covering your bases now will give both of you peace of mind in the long run.

“The woman I’m seeing revealed that she has had issues with sex addiction. Is that a real thing?”

It’s complicated. According to the American Psychiatric Association, it’s not an official diagnosis. But that doesn’t stop people from using the term. It’s an outdated label that’s become a way to either shame or excuse people who like sex more than someone else thinks they should. When it comes to your partner, be supportive. Understand that her use of the term is code for “I’ve made sexual decisions I’ve regretted, and sometimes I’m concerned about making healthy ones in the future”. Then it’s up to you. She may have a higher sex drive than you do, but that’s no excuse for, say, her cheating. If you feel good about the sex you’re having, great! But if the way she approaches sex makes you uneasy, it could be a sign that she’s not for you.

“My partner just got braces. Now I am nervous about her going down on me. Any tips?”

You know that wax the orthodontist gave her to keep the inside of her mouth from getting cut? Ask her to put it over any sharp edges on her braces to smooth things out before she heads downtown. That – and keeping her lips curled around her teeth – should prevent any down-below disasters. I also encourage you to trim. It will be less likely that your pubic hair gets caught in her braces, which could be painful for you. And kinda gross for her.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. If you also want to learn how to give her Squirting Orgasms CLICK HERE.

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Browse online and through your local library and you’ll find tons of titles promising to catapult your sex life into the stratosphere. And though you might at first think, honestly, who has the time to read even one of those books, let me tell you that buried between these covers are some surprisingly smart tips – not only on how to have great orgasms but also on how to feel closer to your lady. To save you the hassle of poring over them, I took some of the best sex tips from my newest work: Naked U Season 3, and did a summary for you. So – ta-da! – here’s a snippet of my proudest pieces of work.

Frankly, the missionary position is the position least likely to bring a woman to climax. But there is a subtle adjustment you can make that can increase her chances of having an orgasm: the coital alignment technique, or CAT. Move your entire body up about two inches. Your pubic bone will rest on top of hers so that the base of your penis presses on her clitoris. This position provides continuous stimulation of her clitoris during intercourse, increasing her chances of having an orgasm.

Foreplay is about sparking the imagination, creating a sense of anticipation. Here’s a trick I am famous by, which is taken from my latest creation: Naked U Season 3 – Click here to see more exciting and advanced tricks. Undress your partner and ask her to lie facedown on the bed. Climb on top and melt tension away as you massage warm oil into her skin. The tell her: “Don’t move. I need you to stay very, very still…” Then make love to her back. Rock your hips in slow, small circles, lightly pressing your body against her tailbone. Let her know what’s happening – whisper in her ear that you’re getting hard, harder, harder… You’ve become the bedmate women dream of – a man who can get hard while also getting his partner dripping wet!
Try the Spiral of Nine, a thrusting sequence that men have used to thrill their women for centuries. Develop a rhythm of varied thrusts – three shallow and one deep; then five shallow and one deep; seven shallow, one deep; and finally nine shallow and one eagerly anticipated full-bore thrust. Keep up the nine-to-one pattern until one of you reaches nirvana.

Bring back those early days of lust trying new things. For example, relocate to the couch, the shower, the kitchen table, behind a bush in the backyard. Even if you do the same old thing, a new location can stir things up. To increase her wetness factor and ensure she orgasms instantly, do some breast caressing as well. But try mixing up your moves a little bit. Most of men go from kissing to breasts to genitals to intercourse. But the sequence of touch is as important as touch itself. Next time, start by caressing your lover’s least sexual places, such as the neck, shoulders, feet, hair, and face, and work your way via the earlobes, mouth, breasts, buttocks, and inner thighs to the genitals. You can find this trick, and more like this one, in my newest program – Naked U Season 3 – click here for a hot sneak peek!

Use your eyes. Both men and women are stimulated by erotic visuals, so try keeping the lights on and your eyes open (this also aids communication, as you can see what pleases your partner). Making love in front of mirrors or using video cameras is a variation of the same theme. The effort pays off, I promise. Especially if you’re trying to achieve that elusive simultaneous orgasm. Eye contact during climax is actually the ultimate intimate move. It’s such a vulnerable moment that sharing it adds a huge degree of intimacy to your relationship. Plus, locking eyes during lovemaking can also make you feel – and act – sexier. Your partner will feel more attractive when you’re looking at her during sex. And that will make her more relaxed and open in bed. This tip comes from The Art of Coming together, one of the three ebooks in my third season of Naked U Season 3. Find it by clicking here.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. I’ve shared with you quite a lot of precious information from my latest work, but there’s so much more to know on this particular subject. Head here and check out the whole thing if you really want to master the art of making your partner wet, coming at the same time and giving her the flesh-on-flesh erotic massage of her dreams.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

If you’ve been raring to unleash your partner’s inner sex goddess, I have the tips and tricks you need to take your bedroom bonding from cozy to very hot. I’m not suggesting, of course, that you chuck your favorite sex moves forever; but sometimes just the smallest tweaks in your routine can set off smoke alarms. By adding a twist, you take it to the next lusty level — and bring her to her knees. Whether you love kissing or lingering over lots of foreplay, I’ve got the little moves that will turn these coital classics into sizzling new experiences. Scan this list for your favorites; then prepare for your hottest, most intimate night ever!

Make it hotter by giving her an ultralow backrub

To rev her motor while relaxing her, place your fingertips along the sides of her spine, a few inches up from her tailbone. Massage the area in tiny circles. Then gradually lighten your caresses until you’re gently brushing this area with your fingertips. This spot contains a nerve complex that’s directly linked to her genitals. To push her into sensual overload, use massage oil scented with ylang-ylang, a tropical aroma that has a reputation for cranking up the female libido since it’s high in esters, a chemical compound that aids in sexual arousal.

Make it hotter by delving deeper

To give kissing an extra kick, gently suck on her tongue when it enters your mouth. There’s a physical reason tongue tugging does wonders: the tongue muscle actually goes down to the throat, so by sucking on her tongue, you’re indirectly stimulating the muscles in her neck and chest. In essence, you’ll be stimulating a much larger portion of her body.

Make it hotter by teasing her mercilessly

Want her every thought to be of you? Treat her to all-day foreplay. Delaying gratification is an incredible aphrodisiac. It instills the thrill of the chase. The longer you let anticipation build, the more explosive the sex will be. Try gently brushing your naked body against your partner while you’re getting dressed; then promise her more later. Or if she’s at work, get her pulse racing with a blush-worthy email or phone call.

Make it hotter by turning on the lights

Lights turn sex into a visual smorgasbord. Plus, shedding some light on your lovemaking will give you both a better idea of what works in bed. When it’s dark, you are operating purely by touch, and that can limit how well you read each other’s sexual signals. When the lights are on, you can tell when she likes a certain way you’ve touched her, and you can make a mental note to do it again. You’re partner’s feeling bashful? Start with dim lighting or candlelight and work up to it. This will give you enough details to arouse you, but not so many that she feels self-conscious.

Make it hotter by adding a tantalizing twist

Ready to make her temperature soar? Raise her legs and drape them over your shoulders so her knees or calves are on either side of your head (don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it sounds). Thrusting is effortless in this position — you can grab her ankles for extra leverage — so prepare for a wild ride! This lusty pose has more than ease of movement going for it. When she raises her legs, she pushes down on the pelvic floor muscles. This will make the vaginal canal feel smaller, which will increase stimulation for you. It will also make you feel bigger (and thus better) to her because she feels more pressure from your penis against her vaginal walls.

Make it hotter by moving the action to a desk or table

These pieces of furniture meet you at lower-hip height, which means you two can easily merge (you standing, she lying down). Best of all, these alternative sex sites offer a change of scenery — and that alone will get your hearts racing. Having sex somewhere other than where you usually do is instantly more exciting, since your unfamiliar surroundings trigger an adrenaline rush. It also says to your lover, ‘I want you so much, I couldn’t wait until we got to the bed,’ which is incredibly arousing. Adding to the thrill is the idea that you could be caught. Even if there’s no chance of anyone walking in, you’ll still feel that having sex out of bed is slightly naughty. It feels as if you’re breaking some unspoken rule — and that’s a total turn-on.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Everyone wants better sex, but many of us have the wrong idea about how to make it happen. Click here to learn how to make it real!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Huge emphasis on “probably.”

Every woman is different and everyone reacts differently, so there’s no guarantee these things won’t push her over the edge, though it’s a far stretch to be honest. It’s true, some women will climax from a a couple of expertly maneuvered fingers but others – most of them, actually – take a lot more coaxing. But if you’re trying to make her feel good without ending things too early for either of you, there are a few things you can try. Bonus? All these will make for a hell of a pleasurable foreplay and a truly spectacular finish when the time comes.

Using just your tongue during oral sex. If she’s extra-sensitive, licking up and down her labia or clitoris can drive her nuts, so be careful with that. However, for most women in order to orgasm during oral sex they need a combination of tongue, lips and fingers, so using just one you’re making sure she’s not orgasming before you go to vaginal intercourse.

Playing with her nipples. Some women hate this. Don’t just saunter on up to your lady’s tatas mouth agape like everything is fine. Work up to it, and if she’s not into it, she’ll let you know. But if she likes it, you can tease her without worrying that her vagina will end up exploding too early.

Giving each other intimate massages. Get naked, grab some oil, mentally prepare yourselves to wash your sheets afterward, and rub up on each other. It’s sexy, it’s fun, it feels really good. But it probably won’t be enough for her to orgasm. Unless you decide to treat her with a happy ending after all the rubbing. In which case, she’s probably going to come really fast.

Trying her, like, sixth-favorite sex position for a while. It’s entirely possible she has a sex position or two that isn’t her ultimate, gets-her-there-every-time move. Maybe it’s the angle or a position where she can’t control the pace as easily. Whatever it is, if you’re into it, try it for a few minutes to start, it’ll still feel great (come on, it’s sex), but you can hump away without worrying that she’ll finish any time soon.

Using your fingers — everywhere. Trace a finger around her hips, pelvis, and vagina. It feels great but it won’t be enough for her to climax. It will only turn her on just enough for her body to be completely prepared and ready to go for when main course finally arrives.

Going to town on her clitoris. This can feel really good for her. Gently stroking her clit with your pinkie or some controlled licking can drive her nuts, but doesn’t provide enough friction for her to finish before you’ve been equally satisfied yourself.
Trying a rim job. It’s 2017; everyone is eating butt hole. OK, not everyone, but anal stimulation for straight women isn’t as taboo as it used to be. If she’s down for it and you’re down for it, make sure she’s clean down there first and then have some mouthwash handy for after.

And last, don’t forget about some of the often-forgotten erogenous zones. Kissing and biting her neck and earlobes might not be the most exciting thing you can do to her, but they’re still erogenous zones on the female body. Everyone’s body is different, and you’d be surprised what areas can drive someone crazy with even the slightest tickle. Explore a bit.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. When it comes to turning a woman on, there are so many things you can try. Some only cause a slow simmer, some really heat up the fire and some take her all the way to orgasm land. For more tips on how to explore her body, click this link and check out my program on the most important hot spots on every woman’s carnal geography.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

#FRIENDS

Break out the champagne and high fives: You and your partner have just had one of those nights when you moved, moaned and even reached Mount Everest-high peaks at the very same time. Few lovemaking sessions make you feel more exhilarated, or emotionally connected, than those in which you’re in sync with each other. So why, you may be wondering, is it so hard to get in the same groove as your woman in the first place?

Men and women get aroused at different rates and through different means, which makes it difficult to stay on the same page during lovemaking. But with a little ingenuity — by using simple breathing techniques or by perfecting your favorite sex positions, for example — you two can hit your high notes duet-style. And while sharing this earthshaking moment every time you strip down may not be an all-the-time thing (hey, sometimes you just gotta dance to the beat of your own drummer), an occasional climactic convergence can be the kind of uncanny, all-the-stars-were-aligned bonding experience that will bring any couple closer.

Read on and prepare to feel your hearts (and every other muscle in your bodies, for that matter) beat as one.

Breathe Your Way to a Big O

One common reason women take longer than men to reach their peak is that they aren’t breathing properly. Most women breathe too shallowly. Deep breathing, on the other hand, delivers more oxygen to all her muscles, including the ones in her vagina, which allows them to rev up their orgasmic engines. To quicken her response time so it’s the same as yours, ask her to take rapid, deep breaths through her mouth instead of through her nose, which will bring more oxygen into her body. This will give her the oxygen boost she needs to keep up with you as you move toward your breathtaking finale.

Learn Each Other’s Arousal Levels

Sometimes missing that mutual oh-my-God moment comes down to a misunderstanding. You, for example, may interpret a certain movement or sigh as a sign that she’s seconds away from a tsunami, while, in fact, it means she’s just warming up. To resolve this misunderstanding, try the 1-to-10 exercise: During lovemaking one night, use numbers to express how turned on both of you are, with 1 being “not at all” and 10 being “Whoa, mama!” (Sure, it may feel a little goofy, but consider it a game and you’ll have the emotional distance you need to accomplish your goal.) Observe which physical and verbal cues correspond with which numbers so that in the future, you’ll know exactly how close she is — and vice versa — and you’ll be able to pace yourselves to reach the big 10 together.

Rock This Way

If the missionary position doesn’t send her skyward as quickly as it does you, that’s no surprise: Only 9.1 percent of couples always or often reach orgasm simultaneously in this position. To increase the odds of it happening, try this revamped version of missionary called the coital-alignment technique. Assume normal missionary, then slide your torso up a few inches so you rock, rather than thrust, into your partner, keeping your pubic bone connected to hers at all times. It works because it provides constant clitoral contact with your penis every movement. Regular thrusting won’t do that.

Take It Slow

“Peaking,” a technique in which you assume a slower-than-average pace during intercourse, can easily wind you both up for an ecstatic ending. A constant, fast pace will dull your partner’s senses, but a slower rhythm will give her body time to adjust and allow the tension to eventually build up to even greater heights. So try consciously moving as if in slow motion and see if it doesn’t bring both of you to an amazing simultaneous finish.

Don’t Let the Real World In

Going for the big kahuna of sexual escapades requires concentration, so you must make sure you’re not going to be interrupted. Double-check that the answering machine is on, the bedroom door is closed and the bedside table has whatever you may need (a glass of cold water, condoms, etc.) once you and your partner get busy. That way you can devote 100 percent of your attention to achieving a mutual five-star finale.

Top This

If being on top gets her in the groove, make things even groovier by sliding her legs down so they’re straddling your thighs rather than your torso. She should also arch her back so she’s nearly perpendicular to the bed; the arc shape of her body will put maximum pressure on her clitoral area. Combined with the control she has over how deep the intercourse is and how fast she moves, this position can send many women overboard.

Put Your Orgasm on Hold

Do you resort to thinking about icebergs or baseball statistics to keep yourself from going over the edge before she does? Distractions like these don’t work well, since they cut you off from the very feelings you should learn to control. Instead, learn to slow down and squeeze your PC muscles (you may need to practice this outside of bed). When you’re close to reaching orgasm and flex these muscles, it will keep you from ejaculating. Then you two will be able to resume intercourse to your hearts’ content.

Maintain Eye Contact

Holding each other’s gaze during sex may be all you need to create some seismic synchronicity. The eyes communicate so much that you might be able to figure out just how aroused your partner is. Locking eyes can also be a major breakthrough on an emotional level. It can be difficult to keep your eyes open when you’re feeling so vulnerable, but get over your nervousness, and the mutual trust you’ll develop will be sublime.

Expand Your Horizons

If intercourse doesn’t normally get her mojo rising, try the “bridge” technique, in which you start with what you know works for her and then wean her from it. For example, if oral sex is her surefire ticket into orbit, do that until she reaches the point of knowing she’s going to climax within seconds. Then switch to intercourse. If all goes well, nearly anything you do at this point should light her fire. Next time try switching to intercourse a bit sooner. Over weeks or months her body will be able to expand its orgasmic repertoire so you and your partner can reach the finish line hand in hand.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to know how to give your woman indescribable pleasure in her vagina, clitoris, and GSpot? I’ll give you the answer through my latest program, Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Do you really know what women want when things get hot and heavy? Or are you blithely unaware, resorting to your catalog of porn to pull out moves you assume are successful, because damn, those women seem to be enjoying it? While adult films have, for better or worse, become a de facto form of education, what you see on screen is sometimes just for show.

Lucky for you, I asked 10 real-life women of all ages and types what they want in bed. Some advice is straightforward (thankfully), but there are also a few subtleties here worth taking notes on. They told me exactly what you need to know.

Take your sweet time.

“Spend more time teasing me before and during sex. Kiss and touch me all over, and make sure I’m really turned onbefore we have sex. Mix fast and rough passion with slower, gentle touches. Guys have become too impatient and selfish in their love-making.”

Be verbal.

“Guys love it when girls moan, but they rarely do it themselves. It’s so hot when guys swear and grunt in pleasure during sex. It shows he’s really into it, which turns me on even more.”

Use your hands.

“Use your fingers and rub my clit while we’re having sex. Like most women, I can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so get your fingers busy, baby. Reach around and get me off with your hand when you’re fucking me from behind.”

Don’t be afraid to get a little kinky.

“I like freaky, rough sex, but all but one of the guys I’ve ever slept with have stuck to plain, vanilla sex. I want a man to spank my ass, lick my inner thigh, tie my hands together, and whisper something dirty in my ear while we have sex.”

Undress me slowly.

“To make things sexier, take your time when you’re undressing me. Ripping my clothes off is hot sometimes, but what I really want is to be unwrapped like a present, slowly and deliberately, and for my sexy lingerie to be appreciated, because it’s all for you.”

Make sure you take care of my needs.

“When men finish, that’s the end of it. All they focus on is finishing. Guys need to control that urge and give the chick time to enjoy. Make sure I have an orgasm too before you roll over and pass out. Even better, make sure we orgasm together, at the same time, because THAT is really something only someone who’s really a pro at lovemaking does.”

More hot sex positions.

“I wish my guy would surprise me with some hot positions that are different than what we normally do, because I’m really over missionary and doggy style. Put my legs on your shoulders, or pick me up and take me to the kitchen and fuck me on the counter.”
Go down on me.
“I love it when a guy goes down on me, especially if he knows what he’s doing. Kiss a trail from my neck all the way down, and eat me out. If only men realized how hot that is…”

Look me in the eye.

“Sex is way, way sexier when it’s intimate, and kissing and eye contact during sex issohot. It makes everything feel so much more passionate, and that is a massive turn-on. Make out with me while you’re inside me, and kiss my neck and shoulders and everything else. This is how we reach the finish line together, and this is what all women want.”

When it comes to foreplay, think outside the box.

“I like foreplay more than actually having sex, but foreplay is always over too fast and too soon. Tease me, talk dirty, and finger me until I’m dripping wet.”

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more information on how to really turn a woman on and give her the magical simultaneous orgasm, Check out my latest program: Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

People love to say, “Sex is like pizza. Even if it’s done bad, it’s still good.” And then everyone laughs/applauds/retweets/whatever because people love to remind those around them that they love sex and pizza so much. Personally, I’ve fucked some real garbage-ass pizza, but the point stands: consensual sex is pretty much always good, because you’re having sex. But there are some things that just make it that much better. Here’s what it takes to go from “eh” to “AH!”.

1. Chemistry

Okay, I hear you: “duh.” But this is arguably the most important aspect of great sex. You’ve got to be into it. You’ve got to want it bad enough. Sex without chemistry is like eating a bunch of pieces of white bread for lunch: you’re just doing it to satiate a physiological response, but the act isn’t exactly pleasurable. Oh, and I’m talking about a two-way street here. It’s not enough for you to want it with all your might, your partner has to be on the same page with you for this to actually work.

2. Trying not to feel self-conscious

It’s only awkward if you let it be awkward. And although the most intimate possible experience two (or more) people can have together is a potential awkward minefield, anyone who can roll with the punches and recover from A) strange bodily sounds, and B) strange bodily fluids, is the type of person you want to have sex with.

3. Really feeling like your partner cares about your pleasure

You can tell when your partner isn’t into it. If they act like they aren’t getting anything out of it, that’s an immediate boner-killer. But if you’re both enthusiastic and legitimately want to see the other person get off, that alone can make for great sex, regardless of your technique or experience.

4. Foreplay

For some people, it’s more about the journey than the destination. Typically, that journey involves a detour into oral sex town. Plus, the longer you make out for, the more anticipation, and a slow build to sex is like a volcano erupting, except if lava was something awesome that didn’t kill you instead of lava. I guess in this simile, the lava is cum.

5. Discovering something new

This won’t happen every time you have sex, but whenever you discover something new you’re into, that’s great sex. Whether you try it together, or your partner introduces you to scarves and blindfolds, learning “Hey, this turns me on” is awesome.

6. A partner who gets them hot

No, this is not the same as a “hot partner.” This should go without saying, and yet… it’s important to have a partner you’re into physically, not just mentally. You need both! Sometimes it’s nice just to grab someone who seriously turns you on and not really worry about whether or not you agree on parenting strategies.

7. Raw animal lust

Instead of embracing the fun, awkward, messy side of sex, it’s like your bodies are two machines designed explicitly for boning each other. It’s the kind of sex that feels like it does in the movies, all photogenic and beautiful. The kind of sex where if someone walked in on you two having sex, it’d make that person question everything they knew about sex. They’d wonder if they’d been doing it all wrong.

8. Natural communication

Whether you just met or you’ve been having sex for years, having an immediate understanding of what the other person wants is huge. It’s what wins teams titles and it’s what keeps sexual partners from having to stop sex to explain, “here, move you leg like this… no, like this… this… just put it here.” Of course, sometimes those explainers are necessary, and you should always be explicit about what you want, but the best sex feels spontaneous and natural.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to know how to give your woman indescribable pleasure in her vagina, clitoris, and GSpot? I’ll give you the answer through my latest program, Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Sex. When it’s good, it’s good, and when it’s great, it’s unforgettable. Many couples register ‘great sex’ as the first time they pushed their boundaries. Why it’s important to do that? Because, according to experts, sexual passion and arousal are particularly prone to a phenomenon called “hedonic adaptation”, aka, feeling a bit business-as-usual between the sheets. If this is your case, it’s time you tried something different tonight.

Put on a show

When Dr Ogi Ogas, a cognitive neuroscientist and co-author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, analysed the online behaviour of more than 100 million people, he found that while male fantasies focused on orgasm, female fantasies centered on being the object of desire. “Top female fantasies include being watched, being worshipped, and having sex with a stranger,” says Dr Ogas. To recreate this type of scenario, try renting a hotel room or, if that’s not feasible, try some role-playing (say, pretending you don’t know her at the bar) – it can be surprisingly hot. Not into acting? Opening the windows and imagining anyone can hear yourselves moan can satisfy your inner exhibitionists.

Spank her for good fun

If you’re both game to adding a little BDSM action into the bedroom, start with a saucy game like this one: ‘bind’ your partner’s wrists with tissue (she knows she can break out, but she can appreciate the mental game), and have your way with her. Be careful though, because this type of sex can be so intense in real life, foreplay is key here. The more planning involved, the better. Check out a website of erotic fantasy stories (there are a lot of those online), and send your partner a link to one that turns you on. A story can be a great icebreaker for discussing what does and doesn’t get you both in the mood, plus you can use it as a springboard to discuss what would happen if both of you were the main characters.

Oral examinations

An entire afternoon of all-about-her action should be a regular on the calendar, if you want your partner to be satisfied, that is. One study found that women are most likely to orgasm from a variety of sexual acts, including oral sex, than they are from just intercourse alone. Plus, some women have trouble finding the time they need, and deserve, for pleasure, while most men love to please women sexually, but may require direction. One way to solve this thorny issue? Add a little bit of competition to the whole thing. Say you think you can make her climax two times in an hour – she’ll be more than happy to let you try and prove your prowess.

Three’s company

According to a 2013 survey of more than 5,000 people around the world, nearly one in five has tried a threesome. But there’s a reason they haven’t replaced your Saturday date night: because even though they can be exciting, they do get complicated. A successful threesome requires a lot of communication, trust, understanding and emotional maturity. That said, the fantasy can be safely played out between two people. Feathers can add additional sensations as you are penetrating your partner, or you can try the JimmyJane Hello Touch Wearable Vibrator, which slips on your hand while each finger is covered with a vibrating pad that produces sensation. Part of the appeal of a threesome is also the fact that you feel someone is watching; so doing it in front of a mirror or getting it on while porn is playing in the background can also produce a similar feeling.

Wet and wild

Always wanted to have sex in the sea? I get it, but it’s not that great of an idea. Sand, bacteria and condom breakdown are all good reasons not to try this scenario out in real life. Unless of course you’re in a committed relationship and using other forms of birth control. But different sensations are at play here, a lot of which can be recreated on dry land. A warming or cooling lube used during foreplay creates a slippery sensation. If there’s room for two in the bath (if you’re using condoms, avoid bubble baths or soaps as bath and shower gels can reduce condom efficacy), go on top while he uses the side of the tub to thrust; that combined with the weightless sensation in the water can make the position feel more intense than it would be in bed.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips on how to spice up your sex life, check out my program Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Some sex tips are for special-occasion sex – for those times when you want to shake things up a little. Whether you feel like your sex life is lagging or just feel like doing something new, the following eight tips are things I think every couple should try at least once in bed. Why? Because you never know, you might just love your newfound knowledge.

Be selfish in bed

Sometimes you need to put your pleasure first, ask for what you want and not worry about whether she’s having as good a time. Yes, it should be a balance, but if you’re always concerned about her, you won’t focus on you and may never discover what you like. The reverse is just as true – you should encourage your partner to put her pleasure first as well. Only when you’re both completely satisfied can you achieve the perfect sexual adventures.

Lube it up

Who knew one small tube could revolutionise your sex life? Just a little bit of quality lube can mean the difference between discomfort and ecstasy. There are plenty of factors that can affect a woman’s natural lubrication – dehydration, antihistamines, the Pill, stress, antidepressants, pregnancy and even breastfeeding; but you don’t have to need it to enjoy it. Adding a lubricant to your usual routine can intensify pleasure, enhance sensitivity, prolong activity, help prevent condoms from splitting and feel sensuous and stimulating.

Ask her to wear something seductive

Wearing a new set of underwear can really help boost a woman’s confidence in the bedroom. It gives her a chance to get into her zone and detach from everyday, normal life. But, just make sure that what she’s wearing is for both of you – if she is feeling itchy and uncomfortable just to please you, it isn’t going to make for memorable sex. If lingerie isn’t her thing, she could try a pair of stilettos or red-hot lipstick, instead. It’s like the sexual equivalent of a business suit.

Target your partner’s PS-spot

Introducing her PS-spot – the area directly opposite the G-spot, inside the vaginal canal. ‘PS’ stands for ‘perineal sponge’, a nerve-rich erectile tissue that swells during arousal and may appreciate a little manual stimulation. If you can be a tad heavy-handed with her clitoris, this is the perfect alternative. One patient told me, “My partner stimulated my PS-spot with his fingers during oral sex; it was a seriously intense experience for both of us.”

Watch porn together

Just as sex toys shouldn’t have to be a solo activity, adult films can be a couples’ thing too. Take the time to find something you both like – you’ll be surprised at how fun this can be.

Practice delayed gratification

It’s easy for things to end up cosy rather than steamy with a long-term partner. Take yourself back to the early days of getting together like teenagers and then going out for the evening before having sex. A delay will only build the suspense.

Dabble in domination and submission

No dungeon required, I promise. Instead of surprising your partner with a pair of handcuffs (though feel free if that’s your thing), start your adventure in domination and submission gently. Run the idea by your partner first and then invest in a good how-to book to get going.

Stop chasing the orgasm

When it’s not happening, the orgasm pressure can start to mount which makes everyone uncomfortable and tense. If it then does, it can feel a bit soulless after being chased so much. Sometimes you just have to accept it may not be your or their nights, and that’s fine – concentrate on just enjoying the ride. You never know, being more relaxed may help you both to be pleasantly surprised at the end of it.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more information on how to improve your sex life once and for all, check out my program on the matter Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…