The hottest couples don’t have just great sex – they have wild, can’t walk the next day sex. A truly amazing sexual connection encompasses lots of different sensations – maybe even ones you wouldn’t expect. After all, your relationship isn’t one-note, so why would your sex life be? The more dimensions there are in a relationship in general, the more you will see those dimensions reflected in your sex life. See which kinds of sex you and your other half have hit so far. As for the ones you haven’t, well… you know what to do.

Pushing your boundaries sex

There’s nothing like the moment when you’re lying naked with your partner, panting and puffing, thinking, Wow, we’ve never done that before. People in long-term relationships sometimes crave excitement and stimulation, but don’t know how to get it with their partner. You can get that in your current relationship by pushing your regular comfort zone. If you’re used to missionary, that may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; if you’re used to stimulation by body parts alone, it may be a sex toy thrown in the mix. And if you feel a little anxious about experimenting, all the better: the anxiety you feel about trying something new mimics what happens when you’re with someone new. So if you can create that feeling within the confines of a trusting relationship, you will keep reenergizing what you have. And there’s another important benefit: pushing your boundaries helps build trust between you. When you communicate a desire to your partner – and, ultimately, try it – you’re taking a risk together. Taking that risk is a bonding activity in itself.

Vacation sex

Ah, yes, the turn-on effect of the unknown. And thank goodness for it, because vacation sex is a vital part of a good sex life. On vacation, you’re at your most carefree, which means you can try new things you won’t have to be accountable for at home. In other words, you can have sex on the beach or in a car, or flirt madly in a restaurant – all of which you might not do at home, for fear someone you know would see you or find out. Taking risks like this adds to the excitement. And ideally, you can bring that burst of excitement back home with you. The point is, if like in the bedroom is feeling blah, it’s often your surroundings that are getting stale, not your partner. So if you haven’t had vacation sex lately, do it. You don’t even need a plane ticket to get started. Head to a hotel downtown and call it a vacation. You can look forward to it and build it up beforehand for even better sex.

Crazy hang from the chandelier sex

You know what I’m talking about: wild, sweaty, so good it makes you dizzy sex. No matter how long you’ve been together, you need to have earthshaking sex like this once in a while. For long term couples, having an extra-hot sexual experience is like a flashback. It can stimulate those early feelings you had toward your partner in the beginning, and it reminds you what you’re capable of as a couple. People think the steamy stuff only happens when you’re young, but passionate hot sex can be experienced all the time. This kind of sex is also important on a deeper level. It requires a lot of intimacy to let your partner see you in the throes of sexual abandon. When you display that side of yourself, you have to deal with questions like, What if my face gets purple or my eyes go back in my head? To express a higher level of sensuality like this is another way of being intimate. And let’s not forget how much a toe-curling orgasm does to keep your eyes bright and your soul smiling.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more examples of very, very wild and intense sex scenarios, check out my program: Naked U Season 3: Arousal Amplification.

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Since most people don’t have the confidence to ask questions about sex, it’s little wonder they’re turning to the internet for help. The web can be a fantastic hive of information, but recent findings suggest sex education isn’t sought on purely factual sites, but rather places like Pornhub and RedTube. Viewing porn isn’t a crime, however, to take your life lessons in sex from it should be! Here are my lessons NOT to learn from watching porn.

Everyone of the opposite sex is thinking about sex all the time

Porn tends to send a message that everyone you meet is just waiting for an offer and if presented with a sexual scenario won’t be able to help themselves from ripping their clothes off and getting down to it. This at best can cause misunderstandings between two people, and at worst can lead to coercive and dangerous exploits. Basically, most people don’t want sex all the time, with whomever and wherever they happen to be.

Women will orgasm from no stimulation

Women need continuous stimulation of their hot spots in order to climax. The average woman takes 20 minutes to orgasm, more than double the time it takes for their male counterparts. Porn films, more often than not, show women moaning that they’re going to climax within a couple of minutes, not just unrealistic but confusing to the viewer when presented with a real life woman in the bedroom. “But they do it in porn” is not a valid excuse.

Everyone loves anal!

Not only that all women love it, but that we can accommodate anything up there with no lubrication or thought for our own pleasure. Reality check, the anus isn’t self-lubricating and nor does it engorge during arousal like the vagina. If you want to try anal play, invest in an anal training kit and make sure you get plenty of water based anal lubricant to accompany it. Remember, the women in porn have been thoroughly prepped before they shoot their scenes.

ATM is OK

ATM or ‘ass to mouth’ is a really common trend in porn. This is where someone who has just engaged in anal intercourse then proceeds directly to fellatio – or to you and me, the common blow job. This is possibly the worst practice depicted in porn, not only because quite frankly it’s pretty disrespectful but, because it is so completely unhygienic and foul that if you were to do this in real life you’d be exposing your partner to all sorts of health risks.

External ejaculation is a must

Porn nearly always shows men climaxing and ‘shooting their load’ all over their partner’s face, bum, boobs or any other place they can easily reach. This is fine if both partners have agreed to it. However, in real life it’s pretty unlikely someone is going to be OK with, let alone beg for you to, ejaculate on to their face. If they haven’t expressly asked for it to happen don’t assume it’s OK.

The more intricate the position the better the sex

Porn tends to depict fantastic sex as an act between two people that involves the most taxing positions, changed as often as you take a breath. In reality all this does is halt stimulation, meaning that when you reset you’re starting all over again. There’s a reason missionary is so popular and that’s because it offers on the whole the most contact with the clitoris. Because this little nub of nerves sits outside of the vagina it’s basically impossible to stimulate through intercourse alone.

Foreplay doesn’t exist

In porn the action starts pretty much straight away, you may get the odd 30 seconds of foreplay here and there but on the whole it’s completely overlooked. In real life it is an absolute must. To quote American Pie: “You’ve got to preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey!” Not only is foreplay fun, it’s also a key element of a mutually happy and healthy sexual experience.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For serious sex education and tips and tricks on how to make your sexual adventures even better than the fake ones you admire in porn, check out my program on the matter – Vagina Masterclass

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These carnal competitions will fire up your desire – and satisfaction. The best part: everyone comes out a winner.

Daring Dice

This is all about your partner’s pleasure! Roll a dice and follow the instructions below for the number it lands on. Each act can only last for three minutes (set a timer) before you roll again. You should keep going until your partner can’t take it any more!

Run your tongue along her earlobe. Nibble it too. The ear lobes actually have many nerve endings and are considered an erogenous zone. Blowing lightly on her ear lobes, nibbling, sucking, or licking can be a major turn on.

Undress her slowly, making sure to kiss each body part as it comes into view.
Ask her to stroke one of her hot zones, then tell her what you would do to it.
Trail your hands around her butt cheeks, then grab each. Her bum is one part of her body you should never overlook, you’ll find out pretty quickly that she appreciates a good bum fondle just as much as you do.

Lick her nipples, flicking your tongue over each tip. Nerve endings in women’s nipples make them very sensitive to touch and they even become erect when stimulated. Try techniques like light touching, licking or rubbing to get her aroused or amp up her pleasure. Some lucky women have even reported having orgasms solely from nipple stimulation alone!

Let your fingers wander near – but not on – her clitoris.

Titillating trivia

Upping the intimacy factor will bring you and your partner closer… and closer to ecstasy. Ask her the steamy questions below. If she answers correctly, you get the bad boy penalty. If she’s wrong, you get the sweet reward.

“What’s my favorite flavor of ice cream?

Reward

She has to lick your favorite flavor (or whatever treat is in the fridge) off you.

Penalty

You have to lick your favorite flavor (or whatever treat is in the fridge) off you.

Finish the fantasy

Tapping into your fantasies can be a major turn-on. Read this story out loud and then, together, come up with a sexy way to end it, taking turns to add a sentence – until your erotica becomes your reality.

“You’re working late. All your colleagues have gone home – even the cleaning crew. Suddenly, you hear footsteps coming toward you. You sit very still, wondering who it is, when you see a shadow right outside your door and… there I am. I walk in, sit on your desk, smile slowly, and…”

Carnal challenge

It’s time to pump up the thrill level in your lust life. Choose one of the dares below to carry out tonight.

Create a new oral move. Each of you must come up with a fresh new way to satisfy the other person down below.

Ambush your partner when they least expect it. Push them against the wall, strip off every stitch of their clothing, then kiss them all over.

See how loud you can get. During sex, make as much noise as possible – moaning, groaning, panting, yelling – until the neighbors are forced to file a (jealous) complaint.

Get her hot game

Stimulate her senses – one erotic inch at a time. Blindfold your partner, then ask her to pick a number between one and four. Then, follow the naughty instructions for that number.

Gently trace your fingers from her inner thighs to where her leg meets her pelvis.
Dip your tongue into her belly button, then kiss along the waistband of her panties.
Slowly suck on her bottom lip, then do the same to her top lip before giving her a long, deep kiss. Often some things fall by the wayside when it comes to getting down and dirty, and kissing is often the first casualty. Kisses are incredibly intense and are proven to increase a woman’s arousal. A hot kiss is not just a prelude, but the carnal cherry on the cake – guaranteed.

Suck on each of her fingers, softly scraping her fingertips with your teeth.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more hot tips on how to better enrich your sex endeavors, check out my program Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Any orgasm is a good orgasm. But there’s a certain male variety that can take a climax from good to ahhhmazing. It’s the P-gasm – the deeper, longer, more intense pleasure peak you can experience when your partner massages your prostate gland (or P-Spot) during sex. The internal, walnut-size, hypersensitive organ sits between your bladder and penis and is often compared to the female G-Spot.

Men often say that orgasms from prostate stimulation feel more expansive and whole-body than strict penile orgasms. This is partly due to the gland’s role in ejaculation: When you are aroused, it swells with fluid that makes up part of semen, then during orgasm, it squeezes and propels this fluid into the urethra. Kneading the gland can trigger the same sensation and make you feel like you are about to have an orgasm.

The most direct prostate access is up your back door, but – stay with me! – your partner can take baby steps to get there or simply please you from the outside. Either way, knowing how to enjoy a P-gasm is like having an insanely sexy superpower. Follow this guide into the greater bum-known.

Start with a conversation

Always. Trying to spring a surprise P-gasm on a woman by taking her hand and putting it near your butt can frighten her or block her from feeling any enjoyment at all. Plus, you yourself need to be fully turned on and relaxed in order to appreciate it (Sound familiar? It’s the same discussion we’ve had when it comes to getting your lady prepped for anal sex). Broach the topic ahead of time with something like, “Did you know there’s a thing called a P-gasm? I read about it the other day…” If she balks – because she feels weird about anal play with you as the main character – talk about experimenting slowly.

Venture halfway

Got the green light? Then begin with this move: While your partner is giving you oral, ask her to indirectly fondle your prostate from the outside by kneading your perineum – the area between your penis and anus – in a circular motion with her thumb. Because she’s doing this through two or three inches of tissue, it’s like giving you a back rub while you’re wearing a sweatshirt. Ask her to gently apply more pressure until you start moaning.

Go all in

Once you’re craving more, your partner can head around back. Before you begin, a few rules. You have to make sure you’re already sexually stimulated and ready to go before you ask your partner to attempt to find your G-Spot. The best way to ensure this is to ask your lady to give you an insanely killer oral sex (you won’t be able to resist the sensation of this orgasmic mix and you’ll be much more relaxed and open to whatever pleasure she’s going to give you next). So here’s how the whole process works. After circling your bum with a clean, lubed finger (or she can use latex gloves or a condom), she should work it inside you. She should aim to feel for a soft yet firm texture toward the front of your body about 2 to 3 inches in, and stroke it with a steady come-hither motion. While she’s doing that, you’ll notice your erection is growing ever stronger. Ask her to slow down, if you don’t want to orgasm right then and there but with to prolong this insane pleasure for a little while more. So what happens when she does that for a couple of minutes? You lose your mind, that’s what. The prostate has so many sexual nerves in it that it’s unlike anything you have experienced before. You will feel a fluttering sensation right before you climax, so ask your partner to stick with the movement until you do. Your orgasm will be much more intense and satisfying. Bonus! If you play with it the right way, the prostate gland can be an excellent way to keep you erect for a longer period of time.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to know how to give your woman indescribable pleasure in her vagina, clitoris, and GSpot? I’ll give you the answer through my latest program, Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Use the sexy secrets packed into this two-part article to invest in what I like to call your sexual wellness. Doing so will amp up every erotic experience you share with your partner.

Higher self-esteem. Less stress. A stronger immune system. Fewer bad moods. Research shows you can get all this and more from good sex… or more specifically, a good sex life. It helps maintain your physical, mental, and emotional health. And solo or partner sex will keep you looking better and feeling more confident. So yes, sexual wellness is key for your overall well-being. But how do you best tend to the parts that make you a unique, authoritative, bliss-seeking sexual person and whip your intimate life into shape? You can start with pampering all your carnal spots. What follows is my two-part guide to owning and improving you and your partner’s erotic health, from nurturing the following four (crucial!) moan zones, feeling more confident naked, exploring your partner’s vagina mood-boosters, and bringing on spine-tingling thrills.

Moan zone. Your brain

The brain is your most erotic organ. It’s super important for arousal, as your hypothalamus sparks the production of testosterone and estrogen, hormones that fuel your lusty cravings. Your brain also produces a potent cocktail of chemicals, including dopamine and norephinephrine, which are linked to pleasure and passionate attraction. How do your hot parts respond to this naughty party upstairs? For you, they harden your erection, while for your lady, they pump out natural lubrication and swell with blood – priming you both for a hot hookup. And the whole thing works the other way around too. Regular sexual activity is linked to keeping your brain sharp, so yeah, sex also makes you smarter. Sexual relationships are not just important for sex per se, they are impacting on other factors too, like cognitive function.

Erotic exercises

Exercising this sexual powerhouse is as easy as doubling down on X-rated thoughts. So play a little game with your partner: Write down your top five sex fantasies. These can be mild (taking a bath with your partner, trying light bondage) or wild (watching your partner kiss another girl, having a threesome, being tied up). If you allow your minds to get as racy as they want to, you can become seriously turned on, because the erotic imagination is a wonderful gift. Sharing your erotic wishes with your partner and asking her to do the same might even leave you with one or two things that you both want to try. Plus, if you really want the fantasy to come true, how can that happen if you don’t declare it? If you do decide to go ahead and turn your fantasies into reality, start slow and take turns orchestrating little erotic surprises. Even if you don’t play them as you’ve imagined them from start to finish, they will sure become the novelty you needed to spice up a boring sexual routine.

Moan zone. Your partner’s vulva

A woman’s outer genitalia needs more love. It’s a key erogenous area – home of the clitoris, with some 8,000 nerve endings! – but some men (and even women!) ignore it altogether. One reason women don’t particularly flaunt it: they don’t like the way it looks. Whenever a woman doesn’t feel good about her body, it becomes harder to get to a place where she can orgasm. But making sure she stays positive about all her downstairs parts has huge rewards. Research shows that women who do so tend to have better sex and reach climax more easily than those who don’t.

Erotic exercises

Surprisingly, a good way to ensure your partner becomes BFFs with her vulva may be to ask her to let you take a closer look at it. Women may feel better about their genitals after they see men approaching them with lust and admiration. When she sees you are in awe of her vagina, it will make a big difference in how she appreciated her own physiology. Or you can ask her to get intimate with the area herself. Hand her a mirror and let her familiarize herself with… herself. How can you not appreciate a body part that can bring so much joy?

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Want to know how to give your woman indescribable pleasure in her vagina, clitoris, and GSpot? I’ll give you the answer through my latest program, Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

This is the second part of my article about the best ways to amp up your couple erotic experiences. Here are the other two moan zones that I’d like to discuss with you. For the first two, check out my previous article.

Moan zone. Your core

Yes, your core. Researchers studied exercise-induced orgasms and found that they are most commonly brought on by abdominal workouts. Coregasms are real – for both men and women! After all, exercise and sex are similar in more ways than one. For instance, they can both turn you into a sweaty, endorphin-flooded mess, and they both offer plenty of heart-healthy benefits. Turns out, engaging your lower-ab muscles – while exercising or fooling around – may exert pressure on your genital organs and by contract your pelvic floor muscles (the ones you hold pee in with) you can actually improve your chances at having a really powerful orgasm. Basically, it’s like killing two birds with one very pleasurable stone. Even if it doesn’t lead to an orgasm, the lower belly is a great place for you to tease your partner and for her to return the favor. The closer touching gets to the pubic area without actually going there, the more you’ll build arousal.

Erotic exercises

To strengthen your own ab-penis connection, work hanging leg raises or 50 to 100 crunches into your gym routine. Cardiovascular exercise helps to keep the heart strong and your veins and arteries in good condition. That’s essential for good sex, since blood flow is a necessary part of sexual arousal. There’s also the fact that exercise helps you stay flexible and boosts your general endurance – great for the times you want to go all night. When it comes to how you can actually engage your core – lower belly when you are in the bedroom, ask your partner to lightly trace her fingers over your lower abs when you and her are making out. You can also have her gently kiss the area as she makes her way downtown for oral. During sex – especially girl-on-top or doggie style – ask your partner to squeeze her abs and pelvic-floor muscles to make her orgasm even stronger, and to make your penis feel better in the process, because this will also create a tighter grip on your little guy – an incredible sensation for you.

Moan zone. Your voice

Nothing makes sex hotter or more satisfying than speaking up about what you want. After all, how will your partner know that you like your nipples licked as well or that you hate when she blows in your ear. That’s part of what makes your voice no just an erotic instrument but a true power center – you use it to communicate. Using your words is the most straight-forward way to get exactly what you crave when an urge hits. And once you’re comfortable talking to your partner during sex in your own preferred language, you’ll become a pro at confidently saying yes, no and “could you keep doing that?”.

Erotic exercises

Nobody likes having quiet sex or even silent sex. It’s a complete turn-off and a recipe for a very dull sex life. The first step in learning how to talk dirty is understanding why you should be doing it. It builds sexual tension, which is key for more intense sex, and it keeps you and your partner in the moment. But I do understand why dirty talk might scare you at first. For many people, using dirty words to talk seductively can feel super cheesy or porno-like. And it’s okay to feel that, it’s not completely untrue after all! If that’s your main fear, I would suggest using instead dictionary terms (penis, clitoris) or coming up with your own slang that isn’t so four-letter-word dependent, such as giving your genitals an actual name (“Betty really misses Derek”). When sex starts, use deep groans to signal you’re enjoying yourself. You can also describe in detail what’s happening in the moment. What is your partner touching? How does it feel? What does it make you want to do next? A universal pleaser: telling your partner when you’re in the process of going over the edge.

Hot kisses,

FidanPaula

P.S. For more tips and tricks on improving your bedroom romps and build yourself the sex life you’ve always dreamed off, check out my program on the matter – Vagina Masterclass, where you will discover the perfect tools for liberating the female orgasm.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Eating food and having sex are undoubtedly two of the best things about being alive. As dining is already an integral part of dating, integrating food into your sex life is an easy peasy way to try new things in bed.

Some more extreme kinks involving food may seem pretty far out, but the connection between sex and food makes perfect sense. They’re both comforting activities often shared with those you love. Not to mention, sex is supposed to be messy.

For those of you who are intimidated, fear not: There are plenty of ways to incorporate food into your sex life that keep you within your comfort zone. Not convinced? I’ve rounded up some great foods to bring into the bedroom, along with beginner tips.

Sushi

Try out Nyotaimori, the art of eating sushi off a naked body, at home. Order your favorite rolls, and then take turns arranging them on each other’s bodies and then eating them. Traditionally, a barrier such as bamboo leaves is between the sushi and the body, but if you’re going to place it directly on your partner’s skin, you might want to make sure they’re clean first.

Cherries

Go old-school and preface your foreplay by challenging your partner to the classic kissing test: See who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with their tongue. Beyond that, cherries are a great addition to the bedroom. Run them over your partner’s body, or drizzle the juice over their erogenous zones and then lick it off.

Popsicles

I know: Popsicles look like penises. But since they’re made out of mostly frozen water and sugar, they’re not good to use for penetration, so don’t use them like this. Not only can the sugar in a popsicle throw off your partner’s pH balance and potentially cause yeast infections, but the popsicle itself might melt inside her orifices. That’s not so fun for a woman’s vagina, but it’s super fun (and delicious) for a mouth. Ask your lady to how off her blowjob skills by sucking and licking a popsicle as you watch, or sit across from each other and swap the icy treat back and forth between your mouths during a make out session. The frozen dessert is also an exciting way to introduce temperature play into your sex life; try running a popsicle over your partner’s nipples and then lick off the sweet residue.

Brie & crackers

If your taste buds prefer savory over sweet, brie can be used in the same manner as gooey chocolate syrup. Get messy by spreading the soft cheese over your lover’s nipples and licking it off while enjoying an entirely new flavor profile than the sugary treats traditionally used for food play. Not turned on by eating fancy French cheese off your partner’s body? Brie and crackers can also be served as the ultimate post-sex snack. A cheese plate in bed is pretty much the classiest and most delicious palate cleanser you can have after an oral sex marathon.

Grapes

As part of breakfast in bed, after Sunday morning sex, add grapes to your partner’s plate of well-deserved delicacies, and feed them to her Cleopatra-style. She’ll feel worship worthy for sure. Before you get to the post-sex snacks, grapes can be used for temperature play while getting it on. Frozen grapes are delicious even without the love making, so imagine how delightful the fruit can be when orgasms are involved. Place a bundle of grapes in the freezer over night. When you’re ready for some icy hot foreplay, pluck a frozen grape from its stem and run it over your woman’s nipples and other erogenous zones.

Whipped cream

If the infamous Varsity Blues whipped cream bikini scene didn’t convince you, whipped cream is a classic for a reason. It’s delicious and it has the perfect fluffy-yet-sticky consistency that helps it stay put on erogenous zones. Integrate the tasty treat into your foreplay by spraying it on your partner’s nipples and licking it off. You can also use it as the perfect segue way to oral sex by creating a line from your partner’s neck down to just barely above their genitals. Lick your way down, then proceed to eat her out. Be careful about getting the dessert inside the labia, as sugar can cause yeast infections.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more saucy ideas on how you can make your foreplay more creative, check out my program on sex toys  –  Lusty Vibrations.

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You’re all revved up and ready to have phone sex with your partner, and then the phone rings and all you can think of saying is, “I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes, and I wanna move from the bed, down to the, down to the to the floor.” Phone conversations are hard, particularly when you’re supposed to sound sexy.

It’s completely normal to get tongue-tied during phone sex, and you don’t have to face-palm yourself if you feel this way. We are conditioned from an early age to experience pleasure quickly and silently, due to most of us growing up in households where masturbation required stealth and speed. Identifying and articulating our sexual needs is a learned skill, and one that takes practice.

And having a list of phrases to say before you start isn’t dumb, it’s brilliant. One of the ways phone sex is easier than in-person dirty talk is that it gives you the flexibility to have a cheat sheet in front of you in case you get stuck. You can think of it as a Mad Libs exercise, but for sex. Phone sex is an exercise in improv, self awareness, and communication. It can definitely feel awkward until you start to get the hang of it.

So, the next time you don’t know what to say, try one of these tantalizing, roll-off-the-tongue phrases.

Moan

If you lose your train of thought, the best thing to do is talk about how hot your partner is making you feel, and then just let moaning fill the space. The easiest solution is to act like you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself while you catch your thoughts.

“What are you wearing?”

One common way to initiate phone sex is to just ask the person on the other line what they’re wearing, because it’s a simple but easily recognizable sign of sexual interest. Initiating phone sex doesn’t have to be super witty; you just need something that gets the point across.

“Tell me what you want to do to me”

The good thing about phone sex is that you always have a partner to help you along if you get lost. But, instead of just saying, “Okay, your turn,” ask them to describe what they would want to do to you. It buys you a few seconds before you have to say something again, and will likely inspire your next topic.

“When I imagine myself inside of you I want to come”

If you’re at a loss for words, simply name a body part, an action, and how it makes you feel. If that’s too complicated, you can swap different parts or reactions in the phrase, “Feeling your _____ all over me makes me want to _____”.

“As soon as I walk into your room I feel your hands pull down my pants”

Role play doesn’t have to involve some crazy fantastical plot line, and you can totally explore things as yourself. Phrase scenarios in present-tense so it feels like it’s actually happening in real time.

“I feel my skin burning. My dick is hard. I feel heat radiating from it. My body is craving your touch.”

If you do lose your train of thought, audibly take a deep breath or two. While you’re taking those two deep breaths, check in with your body and narrate something that’s happening.

“I feel you breathing faster as the pleasure is building”

Although much of phone sex involves noises, you should try to describe all of your senses — including sounds — in great detail. Explain the sensations you’re feeling, and your partner might be able to “feel” them, too.

“I run my hands over my abs, down my belly, and slip my right hand into my underwear”

Talking about how you’re masturbating is the easiest starting point for phone sex. And if you’re at a loss for words, you could always just say nothing and let your partner listen to the natural sounds of you masturbating.

“I can see your muscles shake as I tease your button, which is begging to be fingered”

Take your time, because the longer you have on the phone with your partner, the better phone sex will be. Teasing your partner by telling them that you’re “hovering” above or around their genitals will enhance the mental stimulation even further, and make them even more turned on.

“I’m going to bring you to the edge of orgasm until you’re so overcome with need that you beg me to let you come”

If there’s a kinky sex act that you’re dying to try, but are too nervous, phone sex is the perfect time to play out those fantasies. You can bring power play into edging, for example, and bring someone to the brink of an orgasm, then slow down or stop. You might also ask your partner to ask you for “permission” before they’re “allowed” to orgasm.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more saucy ideas on how you can make your sex games more creative, check out my program on sex toys  –  Lusty Vibrations.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Whether you’re planning a holiday trip with your partner or merely fantasising about one, vacation sex likely plays a starring role in your vision. It deserves its reputation as particularly delicious. Stress is your sex life’s archenemy, and when you and your partner step away from what stresses you out from day to day (work, empty fridges, dirty dishes, kids, if you’ve got ’em), you may find yourselves as interested in each other as you are in the sightseeing. If you prepare for it, holiday sex can be the best kind of sex.

Since I like to do my research before proffering advice, I took my partner to an all-inclusive couples resort to conduct field research and compile vacation-sex best practices for you, my dear. (I know, my job is hard, but someone’s got to do it.)

On the menu: a weekend just the two of us, locked in our room; late-night dancing, couple’s massages, a candlelit dinners with far too much champagne. Because this is what holiday sex is all about: reconnecting physically, after a long year of battling our normal, sometimes stress-filled, fast-paced day-to-day life. Click through to discover our findings, and tips for better holiday sex — from which toys to bring to how to enjoy your bodies like never before.

Plan accordingly

In addition to packing your butt plugs and the swimsuit that drives you bonkers, you have to be prepared with some less fun sex tools, too. For example, in some countries, emergency contraception is accessible, but in others it’s harder to get and/or requires a prescription. If you’re concerned, your best bet is to just pack an emergency contraceptive to have just in case. And the same goes for other vagina circumstances that could arise, like a yeast infection or your partner’s period. It’s better to be prepared and pack an OTC yeast infection medication or a few tampons than to have to worry about running to the drugstore mid-vacation.

You will also want to bring a few discreet, space economising sex toys that still pack a punch. If you bring any battery-powered toys, make sure to remove the batteries and stow them separately from the toys so that the TSA doesn’t wonder why your carry-on just started buzzing. Also, consider waterproof toys if you’re eyeing shower, hot-tub, pool, or ocean action.

And don’t forget the lube! Sex play for hours on end has its drawbacks – sore bits and dryness. Combined with stuffy climates and soaring temperatures your bits can take a bit of a bashing. Avoid nastiness in your knickers by keeping a lube handy that will also prevent any chaffing down there.

Experiment

If your vacation is in a location with a hot climate, cool down (as you heat things up) with temperature play — meaning: apply low temperatures to provoke a sensual response. When people think of temperature play, they often think of warm wax or massage oil, but a cold toy can be more appealing when it’s sweltering outside — and you likely already have one in your freezer. Ice is a simple and sensual way to incorporate temperature and sensations into your sex life. Not only does the ice chill the part of the body it’s touching — nipples, inner thighs, buttocks, stomach, and more — but the ice water it creates can also be a fun. You can also cool a glass dildo by placing it in a bowl of ice water or, if it’s made of borosilicate glass, placing it in the freezer (soda-lime glass is more fragile, so stick to ice water if that’s what your dildo is made of).

Another pro tip: Sensations of cold will feel even more intense if the recipient is blindfolded. Just as important is to not stick to your normal routine. Don’t opt for your favourite position when you’re engaging in some mattress magic. If you usually opt for missionary, now is the time to get your woman on all fours. If you overuse girl on top, try reverse cowgirl for a change and so on.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about sex tips, check out my program Arousal Amplification where you will discover the perfect tools for heating up to a next level.

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Vow to make the new year your hottest yet with these steamy endeavors. Talk about starting your year off with a big bang!

Resolution 1

Have. More. Sex

Because getting it on should happen as often as you damn well please! And research shows regular sex reduces stress by releasing endorphins and oxytocin – and (get this!) it help you sleep better, fight off colds, and can even make you healthier. So here’s how to put your more-action plan into, well, action.

Make every day a foreplay day

It’s no secret among sex experts that extended foreplay leads to satisfying sex and better orgasms – score! People usually think of foreplay as what you do during the quick buildup to the main event. But it pays to view foreplay as an ongoing seduction that begins immediately after your last orgasm and continues right up until you two are in bed again. So once you catch your breath, start revving your engines for your next time, whether it’s an hour, a few days or a week. Focus on the lusty looks you give each other in passing, the sexy texts you send, and the kissing and touching that will lead to your next session.

Screw spontaneity

There are two types of desire: spontaneous and responsive. Spontaneous is that magical, must-have-you-now encounter that starts with a flirty glance in her direction and ends with simultaneous orgasms in an outdoor shower. But guess what? Studies indicate that only about 15 percent of women (compared with 75 percent of guys) experience desire this way. So, instead, focus on responsive desire, which you two can generate yourselves. Plan a night in, make fancy cocktails, and dance really close – and let it lead to bedroom high notes that last all, um, weekend.

Resolution 2

Push your boundaries

Being adventurous in bed can make you two feel like primal pioneers conquering new territories (aka each other!). Research shows that frequent sexploration enhances your connection.

Dabble in domination

Finally, a from-behind position where your partner is in control. While you lie on your back, she should straddle you, facing your feet, and get on all fours. She should back it up until you’re inside her, then move at her desired pace. Her G-spot gets some serious stimulation – and you get to enjoy the view.

Get a little freaky

Blindfold her with something you already have in the house – a scarf, your tie, her cami – and trace your fingers all along her body until she’s all warmed up. Every minute that goes by will build her anticipation for when you finally remove it and let her see your hard rock erection.

Resolution 3

Boost your bedroom bond

When it comes to upping your coital connection, there is one way you and your partner can go: trying a trickier than normal move. Here’s one that I like: When you’re in your usual GOT (that’s girl-on-top, not Game of Thrones) and you feel you are about to climax, guide yourself to the edge of the mattress. (extra points if you two can do this with you still inside her – it’s not easy.) Let your arms and head dangle off the side of the bed while she gets back to grinding. Not only will she feel like the queen of your personal Westeros, the extra rush of blood to your head will also give you a full-body experience. It’s a skill-requiring maneuver that will have you high-fiving at your naughty teamwork.

Resolution 4

Master the art of dirty talk

Try these stress-free scripts that are steamy, not scary.

Text her an emoji brainteaser

Choose a sequence of emojis and then type, “Figure out the riddle… it’s what I want to do to you tonight.” Okay, so she might not fully understand everything, but her brain will be all can’t-wait-for-this.

Send her a hot voice memo

But be sure to cut it off just as you’re about to say the sexy stuff, like this: “I was in the shower and started thinking about that hot thing you did the other day, and I swear I got so…” The anticipation will drive her completely insane.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Step up your sex game and unleash your inner sex god this New Year with amazing tips, by checking out my program Her Secret Hot Spots.

To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques CLICK HERE NOW!

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