It may seem like the vast selection of lubrication available at your local sex toy store is complicated solely for the sake of making your life more difficult. You might be surprised to discover that the many different kinds of lubes available serve a wide range of purposes!

“Different purposes?” you ask. “Isn’t lube just for… well, lubrication?”

Well of course all those fine lubes are designed to smooth out your midnight ride, but did you know that certain lubes can put holes in your condoms, or that others can cause your favorite sex toys to melt or warp? Were you aware that some lubes are great for anal while others are best for male masturbation?

Who knew? Well I did, of course, and that’s why you love me isn’t it?

Lubrication comes in three standard varieties, with a few extra twists at the end: silicone, water, and oil… plus those warming, tingling, and numbing kinds.

Slick, Sexy Silicone

Silicone lube is great for use with condoms, and excellent for both vaginal and anal sex. It is usually very long-lasting without the tendency to gum up and get sticky like oil-based lubes. It can run from a thin liquid to a thick gel, but most often falls somewhere in between.

Be very careful using this with any sex toys! Silicone toys, which are among the safest and most hypoallergenic variety, are not compatible with silicone lube. The combination can cause degradation of the toy, so be sure to carefully cover it up with a condom if you don’t have any other lubrication options!

Wet, Wild Water

Water based lubricant is the most versatile of the three groups. It can be used with condoms, with toys of any variety, and is appropriate for vaginal, anal and manual sexual stimulation of just about any kind. Some varieties of water-based lube can be quite long-lasting, but generally speaking these liquids will absorb into the skin during use. For this reason, you will likely need to reapply during extended use, and you should be extra careful about buying a brand made with quality, natural and/or organic ingredients.

While water-based lubes tend to be the thinnest of the three varieties, certain other ingredients can be added to create gels and other thicker substances. Read your ingredient lists carefully!

Oil & (Oil-based) Lube

Oil-based lubes can be longer lasting than water-based, but they also have a tendency to absorb through the skin, especially if they are made from natural, edible oils. They are more likely to come in thicker creams and can be great for anal sex because of this natural staying power.

Oil-based lubricants are not condom safe and should never be used with latex toys or sex gear. If you are enjoying some skin on skin contact though, natural oils make wonderful lubricants for tantric sexual encounters, because they can also be used as body massage oils, bath oils, even to scent the room! Coconut oil, cacao butter, avocado, and even regular kitchen olive oil make great lubes in a pinch. Be sure to choose the most natural, organic source possible and be very careful about fragrance. Just because something smells nice enough to scent your bedroom doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for your lover’s skin, especially in her most sensitive spots! If you aren’t sure, refer back to the “spot test” and do a bit of research about essential oils before creating your signature blend.

Special Features

Warming, cooling, or numbing lubricants are typically water-based but can come in any variety. If you want an “edible” lube, try to pick one made with the most natural ingredients, and avoid silicone at all costs, as it is known to cause stomach upset and GI distress.

Sensational lubricants can be over-stimulating for some, so like any other bath or body product, be sure to test it on the inside of the wrist first to gauge any possible allergic reaction. Putting hot or cold substances directly onto the genitals can cause some serious discomfort, especially when the product is difficult to wash away, so be careful! Most importantly, don’t use numbing lube for anal sex, especially if you are new to it and not sure how to enjoy yourself without hurting your partner. Numbing only prevents her from feeling pain that you might be inflicting. Pain happens for a reason, so don’t cop out and mask the problem just so you can have a good time. If you can’t do something without harming your partner, you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

Kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. – If you’re interested in incorporating Sex Toys in the bedroom, I recommend taking a look at my program – Lusty Vibrations. In this program, you’ll learn exactly how to choose the perfect sex toys, and how to use the most discreet and powerful vibrators to blow her mind!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

#CONDOMS #LUBE #LUBRICATION #OIL #SILICONE

I’ll be the first to admit that there are some amazing sex toys on the market today with incredible functionality and intricate designs that simply cannot be replicated with household objects.

Things that Vibrate

The back massager, the electric toothbrush or razor (be careful where you put that thing!), the washing machine, the cell phone… your household is likely filled with devices that are meant to vibrate!

Just keep in mind that not all things that vibrate are meant for the hot, sticky mess that is sex, so be sure to strap one on first. Wrap your favorite device in a non-lubricated condom, or a latex/nitrile glove before you get started, and be careful. Your warranty does not cover drowning in lady juice.

Things that Penetrate

Go with something natural here, and make sure it’s clean – bananas (trim the rough end first, and leave the stem on for easier handling), small cucumbers or zucchinis. Don’t use anything so small that you might not be able to get it out, especially if your lover has weak pelvic muscles. Do not put anything but your fingers in her bum. The back door is especially prone to “sucking things up” so stick with your hands or an anal-specific toy.

Try making a dildo Popsicle! Fill a lubricated condom until it is the size of a small-to-medium dildo, with water (add a bit of yogurt if you’ve been playing with bananas) and freeze it. Allow it to melt just enough that you can remove the condom, and then coat it with a natural oil-based lubricant and she what she thinks. If she is particularly sensitive, she may not enjoy the cold feeling. Try adding more lube, or a layer or two of latex, and go from there.

Things to Get Kinky

When you really want to spice things up a bit and need a little help from home, the variety becomes nearly endless! Any kind of kinky roleplaying, especially any kind of BDSM (bondage, discipline / dominance, submission / sadism, masochism) activity will benefit from a good rummage around the house for new and exciting toys.

Roleplaying toys: Playing roles is kind of like theater because it is so much about set and setting. Put together a great costume; do up the room with whatever accessories you have on hand. Hang scarves or other nice fabrics from the ceiling or on a line around the bed for an exotic boudoir feel. Light some candles or put on the right music. Pull out all of your old clothes and see what kind of characters you come up with from the pile.

Binding toys: A recurring fantasy for both men and women, the feeling of being helplessly held, free to struggle, let loose and get as wild as possible while someone else holds you tight, can be incredibly erotic. Often this begins simply by using your hands to hold her wrists at bay, her legs apart, and her shoulders down, or in her hair. If your discussions with her about roleplay and fantasy have led to talk of bondage, you can improvise with things from your clothing pile, like ties and scarves.

If things get “damsel-on-a-railway” kinky, don’t use regular household ropes unless you know they are made from natural fibers like cotton, silk or hemp… and learn how to tie knots first so you understand how to bind safely.

Clamping toys: Your hands work best for this one too! Many women find it intensely erotic to have their nipples stimulated with a mix of pleasure and pain, or are able to experience orgasms simply from nipple stimulation alone. If your lover seems to particularly enjoy nipple stimulation, try spending some time focused entirely on them, instead of moving past when the foreplay is done. How heavy does she like to be stimulated? You can use your fingers or your teeth, but when things move on to the extra kinky, you can play with wooden clothespins (the older ones are better, because the spring loosens and allows you to go slow to start) and see how she responds.

Thudding and Stinging toys: When it comes to the rest of the “kinky” toys, there are two kinds – thudding or stinging. Does she like to be spanked? Does she prefer the heavy thud of a cupped hand or the light sting of an open hand? Would she enjoy moving up to a ping pong paddle or a wooden spoon? The implements available to you at this stage are wide and varied, but play with extreme caution. Try it on yourself, go slow with your partner, make sure you understand your safe words… and enjoy!

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips and tricks on how to incorporate naughty sex toys into your sensual repertoire, check out my program: Lusty Vibrations.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

#DIY #HOMEMADE

The Who, Why, Where, and When of Toy Shopping

Who buys sex toys? Just about everyone, from all demographics! Obviously a disposable income is an important part of sex toys, but I’ve known many couples in my experience who make sex toys part of their monthly or quarterly budget! There is nothing wrong, dirty, or shameful about sex toys. They are fun! Who says kids are the only ones who get to have toys to play with, right? Enjoy yourself while you still can, and get a few toys to help you along.

What sex toy should you buy? There is no perfect choice that everyone will love, so shop around, read reviews online, take a look at some toys in person if you can, and don’t give up on an entire “type” of toy if one doesn’t work for you.

Why buy sex toys? Why not?!? Some women find that they variability in stimulation that sex toys provide can greatly improve her frequency and/or quality of orgasmic experiences. This isn’t true of all women, of course, and doesn’t mean you will need to use sex toys every time you have sex, but they can be a great tool for mixing things up and enjoy a great variety of sex with your lover.

Where should you buy sex toys? This decision will greatly effect your experience. If you are lucky to live in a large enough area, it is likely that “feminist” or “luxury” sex toy stores exist in your areas. While the merchandise tends to be higher priced, it also tends toward higher quality and longer lasting materials. The staff is more likely to be knowledgeable and the environment comfortable. If you or your lover are wary about visiting the pornography/sex toy store common in some cities and small towns, the internet will save you! Unless it is illegal to buy sex toys in your country, there are thousands of sex toy retailers online…. including your very own Gabrielle Moore!

When should you buy a sex toy? Aside from the obvious (“when the store is open!”) you should purchase a sex toy, especially your first sex toy, together. Don’t use this as a chance to surprise your lover unless she has explicitly told you about a product that she wants and you feel comfortable knowing exactly what she desires. This is a process you should share.

Buying Your First Toy

Your first vibrator: there are different kinds of vibrators, depending on the motor, the power source, the shape and material. Start with something small like a bullet, but don’t give up on all vibes if your first one doesn’t work. Many women swear by the high-powered Hitachi Magic Wand, but not everyone will love it the same.

Your first dildo: think about when in her cycle your lover enjoys using a dildo – the closer to ovulation she enjoys using it, the bigger the dildo can generally be. Many women will enjoy different dildos throughout their cycle – a small one early/late on, a mid-size or larger one as they near ovulation, and perhaps a g-spot dildo for special occasions!

Your first anal toy: as a rule of thumb, start small. Use silicone or similar safe material, as it will also stay in easier when using a small toy than something slicker like latex or plastic. There are several small “beginner” anal sets which come with 2-4 different sized anal plugs, so you can start small and work up to something larger if it suits you.

Your first toy for you: if you have any intentions of sharing these toys (anal toys can be for boys too!) then be sure to get something you can sterilize, like medical grade silicone. Men may also enjoy masturbators like the Fleshlight and others. Don’t be shy! There is nothing wrong with masturbation – taking responsibility for your own pleasure is sexy!

Your first kinky toy: couples interested in kinky toys will find that there are lots of kits available for different kinds of mild BDSM or other sensation play. Exploring other kinks may require a bit of innovation, but be creative! There are thousands upon thousands of sexy opportunities available in online shopping carts around the world wide web. Find something that works for you, and enjoy!

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips and tricks on how to incorporate naughty sex toys into your sensual repertoire, check out my program: Lusty Vibrations.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

We’ve talked quite a bit about the sex toys you can make at home, your basic beginner toys for getting started with different types of aided sex. But have you ever found yourself wondering what the future of sex toys holds?

Luxury

Toys that go above and beyond aren’t completely new, but the vast variety of luxury toys currently on the market speaks to the growing trend of treating sex toys like jewelery. If you’re going to spend your hard-earned cash on a new toy for your chest, make it the best!

There are dozens of different luxury toys on the market in different shapes, sizes and materials. Diamond studded? You got it! Gold plated? Why not! Pearl anal beads? Stirling silver spankers? Crystal canes? Horse mane tails? If you can dream it up, somebody else probably already has… so what’s your luxury?

The current leader in luxury toy sales is by far the Lelo company, with a variety of toys for men, women and couples. The next biggest expense in the toy market is by far the infamous “fucking machine” which comes in so many variations it would be impossible to cover them all here! In fact, you can even build one of your own! Who said luxury had to come at a high price?

Innovation

Sex toys for the new age are popping up all over the place! The Mojowijo is a pair of teledildonics devices which allow you to share your sex toy experience with someone else using the internet – in a different room or a different country. Mojowijo comes in both a “male” and “female” attachment for use by just about anyone.

The RealTouch company is pioneering the realm of teledildonics, having already launched the “for men” device designed to respond to signals from adult videos. Now they are releasing their latest device, a “for women” sensory dildo device which can transmit motion and pressure from vaginal penetration to the pocket pussy style device on the other end of the internet connection. Even better, they have just announced that the platform is now open source, creating an incredible opportunity for developers to come up with as many third party apps as they can think up!

My favorite new sex tech device by far is the Little Rooster, an adorable, sensual alarm clock designed to wake your wife up in the morning with a delightful buzz between her legs instead of that incessant beeping! It is the perfect gift for the woman who has everything and a great way to encourage some sexy, sensual time together first thing in the morning.

The Future

So what does the future of sex toys have in store for us? The possibilities are endless! Have you ever wanted to see what sex looks like from your partner’s perspective? Try out an autoerotic tele-presence device to turn things around. Want to keep in touch with your lover long distance? Hugging shirts or pillows will keep you close. Soon you may be able to use haptics devices to feel what it would be like to have sex with an extra pair of hands (and I don’t mean a threesome!) or in any kind of different body. How would you tweak your appearance if you could be anyone for your next sexual encounter?

The future of sex toys is all in the collaboration, the ability to integrate our sexual tech into our bodies and make them extensions of ourselves, the way we are slowly beginning to do with our cell phones and computers. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your toy could learn the specific combination of movements and vibrational frequencies that your lover responds to best, and replay them at just the right moment to bring her over the edge? What if you could have your own, in-house, virtual sex coach who could give you all of this amazing advice hands-on, as if they were right there beside you at each moment? The future is X-Rated!

What Now?

If you are really interested in the future of sex toys, start out by figuring out what’s on the market right now. There are several DIY devices that combine sex and tech quite elegantly and can be manipulated and improved upon through open source developing. If there is one thing girls love, it’s geeky guys! Get your geek on and start making the next big thing in teledildonics technology to share with your lover. If nothing else, it will give you something interesting to play with at the end of your next date. Try something new!

Kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. – If you’re interested in incorporating Sex Toys in the bedroom, I recommend taking a look at my program – Lusty Vibrations. In this program, you’ll learn exactly how to choose the perfect sex toys, and how to use the most discreet and powerful vibrators to blow her mind!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Are you the guy who loves to use sex toys with your partner in bed? Or, are you the guy who would really like to try sex toys with your sweetie but not sure how to go about it or bring up the subject? Do you know what to do with a sex toy when you have one? Or are you a sex toy geek? Where ever you are on this spectrum, one thing is certain: Sex toys, when used correctly really feel amazing!

Sex toys can do wonders to enhance a stagnant sex life.  Sex toys can take an already rockin’ sex life to the next level of pleasure and provide stimulation not possible by human touch alone. Whether you are bored with the same routine and want to shake things up or just adventurous and want to try it all, sex toys are an amazing way to add pleasure and excitement to your sexual repertoire!

Talking to Her About Using Sex Toys

Men often ask how they bring up the subject of sex toys with their girlfriends or wives. Just like any part of sex, it all starts with good communication. How you say something about changing things in the bedroom is as important as when you say it.  First, be sure to say something in a way that does not degrade or diminish the current sex like you have with her. Focus on the positive of what you do like. For example, “Honey, you make me feel so sexy and I love our time in bed together and I have been thinking about something I could do for you to give you more pleasure. What do you think about trying a sex toy?”  That is SO much better than, “I am bored stiff with our sex life and need something to change immediately or sex with you will be more trouble than it is worth.”

Be sure to pick the right time to address the topic too. After you make love and are basking in the afterglow might be a good time to hold her in your arms and tell her how wonderful the sex was and lovingly ask her if there is anything you can do to give her more pleasure. Then suggest a sex toy.  Whatever you do, don’t ask her when she is busy with work or the kids or distracted. You want her full attention.

Picking a Sex Toy

Choosing the right sex toy for you can be a challenge but it can also be a fun experience to see what is out there. It is something you can do alone to surprise your woman with your choices or you can shop as a couple. You can visit a sex toy store together which can be a hot experience in itself or you can shop the internet. There is even a home shopping channel just for sex toys.

The first thing you want to consider is your goal. Obviously the main goal is to increase sexual pleasure but how you do that offers many options. Do you want to stimulate the clitoris? The G-Spot? Do you want something that can be used on both of you or just her? Do you want to get a little kinky? There is no end to the possibilities. Once you identify your goal, then choosing the sex toy to meet it is easy.

I’ve Bought it. Now What do I do With It?

This is where is can be really hot. Knowing what to do with your purchase is very sexy. One example is if you buy the Hitachi Magic Wand, also known as the Cadillac of vibrators, Try sitting up against the headboard and having her lie back against your chest. Put the bulb of the wand on her clitoris and turn it on low. Lightly rub the vibrator all over her clitoris and gradually increase pressure. Then turn it up to high speed and do the same. Once she has reached a high level of arousal, take the bulb of the vibrator and press it hard on her clitoris and hold it there.

Another thing you can do with the Hitachi Magic Wand is to use any of the several attachments available. Try the curved G-Spot attachment. Insert the attachment into her vagina and turn it on then press the handle of the wand down which makes the end with the attachment go up. The curved tip hits the G-Spot and will make her have an intense orgasm.

Clean up Your Mess

It is very important to clean your sex toys properly. They should be washed in hot water with antibacterial soap and a little bleach. Allow them to air dry and store them out of the sun. They need to be washed after every use and before sharing them during sex. A helpful trick is to put a condom on toys that are inserted such as dildos and some vibrators. This helps keep them clean but they must still be washed after use.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips and tricks on how to incorporate naughty sex toys into your sensual repertoire, check out my program: Lusty Vibrations.

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

A lot of men out there (especially my dear readers) are dying to please their women in new and better ways, but for some of you the idea of introducing sex toys into the equation is intimidating, to say the very least. Men worry that a sex toy will do their job for them, and do it way better, to the point where maybe their partner will just decide to stick with the toy that doesn’t expect you to reciprocate once she’s climaxed. I understand, guys, I really do, but instead of fearing the sex toy, it’s time you embraced it in the bedroom and started taking advantage of all that it can add to your relationship.

The Stats

Although many might not want to admit it, a lot of people are out there buying sex toys. Research from 2011 showed that over one billion dollars was spent on vibrators in the United States alone!
In a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2009, 52.5% of the female participants reported using a sex toy either alone or during intercourse or foreplay with a partner.
Vibrators are more often used for clitoral stimulation than for insertion.
A study done by Trojan Condoms found that 44% of men have incorporated sex toys into their sexual relationships. Those that did use sex toys reported amazing results in their relationships including increased sexual desire in their partner, better orgasms, and higher partner satisfaction.

How to Do It?

Get your partner in on the fun. Tell her that you have been thinking about how you could improve her experience in the bedroom and you thought it might be fun to try out a few sex toys. The great things about sex toy shopping these days is that you and your partner can comfortably browse sex toys without any embarrassment on the Internet. Then you can buy whatever you want and it shows up on your doorstep days later without ever having to have an awkward experience at a sex shop.

Do some research and get input from your partner. She might have experience with sex toys that you don’t know about and may be able to direct you in what she likes and doesn’t like. If she doesn’t there is plenty of information available on the Internet, including reviews of all different kinds of toys. Here are a few that I like to recommend:

Hello Touch – This is an amazing little toy that is best used with a partner. It’s a fingertip vibrator that is optimized for both clitoral stimulation and internal stimulation. This means that you can use it for an external clitoral orgasm AND to explore the world of G spot orgasms. Because the vibrating pads fit right onto your finger you will likely feel like you’re more a part of the experience. It can even be easily used during intercourse as well as foreplay.

A vibrator with a penis-like shaft – Some women will use a vibrator just for clitoral stimulation, but others enjoy inserting it inside them too. In order to really discover what she loves, you should try a vibrator that you can insert.

Form 2 vibrator – This little vibrator looks like a little bunny rabbit head. It’s not very intimidating to look at, which might make it more attractive to your partner, but it’s an award winning vibrator that packs a punch! It has four different vibration modes and five different intensity levels. The best part? It’s waterproof! That means you can have some fun shower time (or maybe even pool or jacuzzi time?) with your new friend.

These are just a few suggestions to get you started, but as I said, include your partner and do your research about the best toys out there. Good for you for being man enough to improve your sex life with sex toys. You’ll see the results and be happy for it!

Have a blast!

Fidan Paula

PS: Don’t forget to let me know how it went in the comments section. In this program, you’ll learn exactly how to choose the perfect sex toys, and how to use the most discreet and powerful vibrators to blow her mind!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“Happy, happy, joy, joy,
I’m your little sex toy.
Bite me, lick me,
scratch my back..
And give my little ass a smack!”
-Unknown

Hey big boy,

Today we’re going to talk about sex toys. One in particular, in fact. One of my personal favorites. It’s a common belief that some men feel threatened by sex toys, but recent research done by Indiana University shows that 70% of men are perfectly fine with their wife or girlfriend owning and using a vibrator. About half of women in the United States own sex toys and 45% of men own vibrators that they use to please their partners. So, the idea that sex toys and vibrators are a threat to men is just silly. After all, any confident man knows that anything that can add a little spunk to their sex life is a win for him.

However, if you don’t have tons of experience in the sex toy world it can be pretty overwhelming to figure out where to begin. Even if you have experience you might wonder if you’re using the best toy for you and your partner, or if there might be some new, better toy out there that will meet your needs like never before. Where to begin? Well, with me of course! Gabrielle has got you covered, like always!

I just can’t stop thinking about my favorite new toy and I couldn’t wait to get to my computer today to share it with you. It’s called “The Crave Duet.” At first glance it looks like some kind of fancy tuning fork or some kind of classy office utensil that you would purchase at Brookstone. This is not some ugly, gaudy sex toy that you want to hide from your cleaning woman. Nor is it the embarrassing toy with an animal attached that almost looks like something a child would play with. This toy is all class and discretion. It even comes with its own leather carrying case.

The vibrator is made of medical grade silicone and a metal base. It’s about 4.5 inches long and has 2 separate micro motors in its tiny body (vroom, vroom!). The toy may look simple, but it’s not. As I have said thousands of times, every woman is different. This vibrator is taking that into account and has many options for use to appeal to any woman. Here’s how it works:

* There are four different vibration settings and speeds. This is where you’ll start. How sensitive is your partner? She might find the lowest setting is enough. Or she might like the lowest setting then working your way up to the more intense ones. Or she might be an intense lady who wants maximum sensation.

* My personal favorite function of this vibrator is the two prong action. Remember, it’s shaped liked a tuning fork, so one of the options is to place the vibrator so the prongs are surrounding her clitoris. This is aaaaaaamazing because it prolongs the build up and the orgasm by avoid direct stimulation. Plus, for a woman who has an extremely sensitive clitoris, this provides the perfect amount of stimulation without being too intense.

* Each surface of the vibrator gives a different sensation. The tip is the most intense. The two motors provide different kinds of vibrations at the tip than along the body of the prongs. Try using it on its side, the tip, the edges, and the prong arms. Each one will give your partner a different, incredible sensation. It is also designed specially to vibrate only in the silicone area in order to avoid that annoying vibrating feeling running through your hand the whole time.

* Okay, my second favorite function? It’s waterproof. Use your imagination here, guys! And if it’s not working, allow me to help. Shower. Bathtime. Jacuzzi. Pool. Beach. You get the idea!

* This vibrator is small and discrete, which means you can use it on its own, while you stimulate other areas of her body, while you finger her, or while have sex. Experiment with your favorite way to use it. You don’t have to just pick one!

There are a few other cool things about this little pocket rocket. First, it’s extremely quiet. That means you could even use this naughty toy somewhere where you shouldn’t be and no one would be the wiser! Second, it’s rechargeable via USB. You just pull the prongs away from the metal base and you have your USB device right there. No need to worry about batteries or losing the charger. Finally, you can even have your Crave Duet engraved with whatever saying you want on the metal base. Fun!

Happy buzzing!
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on my program VAGINA MASTERCLASS!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

Sex toys can add an exciting, new element to your intimate relationship with your partner, but many couples don’t even know where to begin when thinking about how to start using them. Where does one begin? How do I bring it up to a partner? What should I buy and where from? The following article will give you all the how tos you need to know in order to put some fire into your relationship using sex toys.

How do I bring up sex toys with my partner without offending her?

Tell your partner the truth, the worst thing she can do is say no. Tell her that you were reading an article that talked about how sex toys can enhance your intimate relationship and ask her what she thinks about trying it out. If she’s against it, then drop it and you can always find another way to spice things up. Besides after you’ve initially mentioned it she might warm up to the idea after she’s had some time to think about it.

Where to begin…

If you’re completely unfamiliar with sex toys, you might want to do some research before talking to your partner about it, that way you will know something on the subject before bringing it up. Once your partner is on board, I suggest shopping for toys together. Even the search can be a big turn on for a lot of couples. Most websites have a section for toys for couples, which is a great place to begin your search. By looking for a toy together you’ll be sure to get something that she will like, whereas if you search alone, you might be way off on what she likes. Include her in the process so that it’s a couples activity from the beginning.

What and How To:

I suggest getting a toy that is especially made for couples play. Here are a few ideas and how to incorporate them.

Vibrator with remote control – Many little vibrators come with a separate remote control that can discreetly control the device from varying distances. There are several ways to enjoy this with your partner. During sex she can hold the vibrator to the area she wants to stimulate and you can control the vibration. Some will have different kinds of vibrations (constant, pulsating, etc.) and different intensities. You can take complete control or you can ask her to give you feedback to learn what she likes. For added fun get a waterproof vibrator to be able to use in the shower or wherever you like to have your water sex!

These remote controls can also work from long distances within the same area. A fun way to be naughty while no one will be the wiser is to have her put the vibrator in her panties while you discreetly control it from across the dining room table, the room, or even from another location. More high tech versions allow you to control the vibration with your cell phone! Just think of the fun you could have while you’re both at work or out with other friends. The foreplay possibilities are amazing with this toy!
Don’t forget that vibrators can also be used on men. Try placing in on your perineum to see what the sensation feels like. Explore around to find out the best sensations for you.

Vibrating cock ring – For those of you who have never heard of or used a cock ring, it helps a guys to last longer, get harder, and intensifies his sensation. Have you ever squeezed your penis at the base to get these results? Well, the function of the cock ring is to do just that, but hands-free. There are toys out there that also have a part attached that vibrates. This has two functions. First, it vibrates to stimulate her clitoris when she’s riding you. Second, the vibrations also will feel great for you. This is awesome hands free pleasure. Just slip the ring on and get to lovin’.

Cock sleeve – For something new and different try a stretchy cock sleeve. This device slides over your penis and has little modules to stimulate her when you’re inside her. Get one that is reversible and can also be used as a masturbator for you on those lonely nights that your partner is away.

Sex toys can add a fun element to your sex life. Have fun playing, guys!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. If you want to also learn how to provide her Amazing Oral Sex, check out my program “Double Fingering Delight”.

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Do you ever feel like you want to do something a little on the naughty side? You might think your partner never thinks about those kinds of things, but guess what? Women fantasize about getting kinky too. Most guys have an internal bucket list of naughty things they’d like to do in their lifetime. Why not start to tick some of those things off your bucket list with your partner right now? In case you’re not sure where to start, here is my list of kinky and fun things you have to do in your lifetime:

1. Sex in a Public Place

This is something you need to try at least once in your life. Sex in a public place completely magnifies the sensations of regular sex (which is pretty amazing on its own) because you’ve added the fear of getting caught. You have adrenaline pumping through your body and it might even feel like you’re high on drugs, but this is the most natural high you can get. Here are some ideas to make it happen. Seek out a bathroom in a public area that has a private separate entrance with a lock on the door. Shopping malls often have these, called family bathrooms. Or you could get started with some hot foreplay under the dinner table while out at a restaurant. Just strategically place a napkin over your lap (or your partner’s) and let your hands wander. Another option is to go to the great outdoors and find a secluded spot off the beaten path.

2. Pop Rocks Oral Sex

Remember that weird candy that fizzes and pops in your mouth when it mixes with your saliva? It’s probably been years since you’ve tried it, but it’s time to feel that sensation yet again. It works both ways, so you can both receive and give pop rocks oral. The sensations that you feel in your mouth will transfer over into your oral and feel… well, you really have to try it for yourself. Once you’re done trying it out on your partner, make sure you have an extra pack so she can return the favor.

3. Playing with Blindfolds

Being blindfolded is especially sexy when you’re getting it on because it requires total trust in the other person. One of your most important senses is completely cut off, so in theory this will heighten the other senses. Take turns being the one blindfolded and the one to blindfold.

4. Butt Play

A lot of guys out there get a little weirded out by having anything inserted into their bum, but believe me, if you haven’t tried it then you’re missing out. The reason why this is popular among men is because anal play stimulates the prostate, which will give you a more powerful orgasm than you’ve ever felt in your life! Try inserting a butt plug while you have sex for a combo pack of pleasure.

5. Electro Shock Play

Nope, you didn’t read that wrong. There is a special sex toy called a Violet wand which gives low grade, completely safe electric vibrations. Many people find this strange and different sensation really sexy. Hey, you never know until you give it a try. And no one will be able to say that you don’t keep things interesting in your sex life!

6. Play Ball!

Another thing a lot of men really enjoy is when a woman plays with their testicles. You may have already incorporated ball play into your sexual life, but what about taking it up a notch and making things a little more interesting? Try putting some whipped cream or chocolate syrup on your balls and having her lick them clean. Or for something really different, try dipping your balls into a cup of warm (not hot!) liquid. Have your partner grab a straw and blow bubbles into the liquid. I’ve heard it’s like a mini jacuzzi for your testicles!

7. An Hour in Heaven

Get your adrenaline going once again by doing something naughty like going to a rent by the hour hotel room. Pick a clean but fun spot with jacuzzis and themed rooms. You can go any time of the day with your partner and it will feel like you’re doing something really dirty, even though you’re really not! But that’s what makes it so much fun! You could even role play something really spicy to add some extra flavor to the experience.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

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You may have heard the theory that if one of your 5 senses doesn’t work, then the other four senses become heightened. For example, a blind person could have a heightened sense of hearing, or a deaf person has a heighten sense of taste. This is the theory behind using blindfolds during sex. If you take away a person’s sense of sight then their sense of touch, scent, sound and taste will be much stronger. Taking away the sense of sight also helps to lessen performance anxiety in the bedroom and allows a person to really let loose without feeling self conscious.

You might think that blindfolds are only for kinky couples who are into BDSM, but that’s not the case. Blindfolds can be a fun and hot way to spice things up. Here are 13 different ways to use a blindfold during sex:

1. Make a blind map of your partner’s body

The blindfolded person will be the one doing the exploring with this fun activity. One person puts the blindfold on their partner and the non blindfolded person gets naked and lies down on the bed. The blindfolded person should touch and explore the other person’s body. It will be as if they are touching you for the very first time and it will be a huge turn on to see them gently exploring.

2. Be the dominant one

Blindfolding one person is a great way to play with dominance and submission in a relationship. First you can change things up by having the usually dominant person get blindfolded and have the other partner take the reins. The non blindfolded person should direct the show. He or she will decide what you’re going to do and how, and the blindfolded person will take orders.

3. Give pleasure

The most common way a blindfold is used during sex is to completely pleasure the person who has been blindfolded. Let them lie back and be the receiver. Give an erotic massage or perform oral sex.

4. Sexy buffet

Just like in the movie 9 ½ Weeks, you can create a sexy buffet and feed your partner a tasting menu of things while she is blindfolded. You would be surprised at what a turn on this can be for both of you.

5. New sensations

Try running different things over your partner’s skin while she is blindfolded. Try a feather, an ice cube, the tips of your fingers, your nails, a piece of silk, a piece of suede, etc.

6. The blind erotic massage

Get out the massage oil and give your partner a full body erotic massage while she is blindfolded. She will be completely at your mercy as you run your hands over her body.

7. Put on a show

For many people watching their partner masturbate is a huge turn on, but the other person might feel too self conscious to perform. A blindfold is the perfect tool to let that person close their eyes and forget they have an audience. They can just let loose and let their partner soak it up.

8. Use a vibrator on your partner

Using a sex toy, like a vibrator, can really take things up a notch. Since their focus is more on their remaining four senses, sensation sensibility will be at an all time high and a vibrator will feel even more intense.

9. Take it a step further

You’ve already eliminated the sense of sight, so why not eliminate another sense to really make her focus on her sense of touch? Try using earplugs in addition to the blindfold and she will really be tuned into the sensations.

10. Always be tuned into her reactions

Being blindfolded can be a lot of fun, but it can also be really intense for some people. Sometimes people have reactions they might not have expected, like feeling claustrophobic or anxious. As you’re going along make sure that you’re always checking in with her to make sure she is comfortable and having fun.

11. Pro tip 1

Instead of tying your blindfold in the back in the traditional way, tie it on the side so when you’re partner rests her head back she doesn’t rest her head on the knot.

12. Pro tip 2

Men tend to be very visual creatures, so women might like being blindfolded even more than men, but it’s worth trying it out and seeing if it’s for you.

13. Pro tip 3

You don’t need to buy anything special to try out blindfolding. If you decide you like it, you can buy a special one, but until then you can use a silk scarf, a tie, a bandana or a pair of nylon stockings.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques about oral sex CLICK HERE NOW!

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