“Orgasms are like grains of sand; no two are exactly alike.”—Annie Sprinkle

When we think of orgasms, we think of the quick tension and release kind that occur in the genitals which require direct stimulation. But, the in world of orgasmic pleasure, there are many types of orgasms!

Pioneer sexologist Annie Sprinkle says that there are seven types of female orgasms including Breath and Energy Orgasms. Energy orgasms are a type of “hands-free” orgasm which doesn’t require direct genital stimulation. Instead, you “think” yourself off.

What is a Breath and Energy Orgasm?

A breath and energy orgasm is a type of full body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body. Both men and women can experience full body, breath and energy orgasms. It can be a sexual experience, or a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.

For different people, the experience will be unique, but energy orgasms have been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They are usually much more powerful than an “ordinary” type of orgasm (aka genital orgasm) and can last much longer, even hours. They are also transformative in that they bring greater body awareness and can be mind expansive, metaphysical as well as spiritual. Some people relate that they can feel the after effects of energy orgasms for days later.

Why Have Energy Orgasms?

Sexually, energy orgasms can allow women who suffer from female sexual dysfunction, low sex drive or loss of libido, as well as Anorgasmia (the inability to reach orgasm) become orgasmic. For women who are already orgasmic, it can help them to become multi-orgasmic and experience longer, more powerful, continuous and multiple orgasms.

For men, having energy orgasms helps to increase the libido which increases sexual arousal and erections. It aids in ejaculation control while prolonging sexual excitement for men who suffer from premature ejaculation.  Note, that energy orgasms conduct the ejaculation inward, rather than outward to expel it.  This helps men maintain their erotic energy and stamina.

For both partners, energy orgasms help to deepen intimacy, expand your capacity for sensual pleasure, heighten your senses and expand your mind/body/spirit.

The fire breath orgasm is a catalyst to increase the intensity and levels of your orgasm so both partners can learn how to experience different types of orgasms as well as multiple and continuous orgasms.

One of the coolest things about energy orgasms, is that you can do them fully clothed and just about anywhere. I have a friend who used to practice these while waiting for the bus! While I don’t recommend doing these in public as you may get some very strange looks (or worse), I could see doing this on a secluded beach, or other private places in nature.

How to Have Energy Orgasms

Okay, so now that we have an idea of what energy orgasms are, how they might feel and why you’d want to have one, would you like to learn how to experience one? I bet you would!

In my article: Sensual Tantric Sex Ritual for Lovers, I describe how to use Breath, Touch, Movement, Sound and Awareness to become more orgasmic, create greater intimacy and ecstasy, as well as get in tune with erotic and spiritual enlightenment. Rather than rewrite that information in this article, I invite you to go read it to learn the tools and techniques, and then come back and finish this article to go more in depth.

Expand Your Mind

Expand your state of mind so you can expand your body.

Until you have experienced an energy orgasm, you may not even believe that they exist. However, I can assure you they do and they have been also scientifically analyzed under MRI machines by doctors.

Our education surrounding sexuality and orgasms has been pretty well non-existent. Unless you are a sexologist, sex coach or body worker, there is so much about sex and orgasms that you could not possibly know, unless someone has taught you.

So, I invite to forget everything you think you know about orgasms and simply open your mind to what may be possible. If you can’t do this, then you will probably never be able to achieve anything greater than a genital orgasm.

Use Your Tools

I mentioned above about the tools you need to create an energy orgasm.

First there is Touch that begins to stimulate the sexual energy and the Breath that creates the fire that lights up the orgasm. Combined with kegels and rocking the hips (Movement), these help to build energy in the genitals. Next, your Awareness (intense focus) helps move the energy with the breath. And, finally, Sound helps open the chakras and raise the energy through the body. All together, these tools, when practiced on a regular basis, will help you learn how to have a full body, energy orgasm.

Allow Yourself to Let Go

A lot of times when we have sex or masturbate, we tend to be in the head and not in the body. In order to have bigger, more expansive orgasms, you need to learn to let go. That means fully feeling with your body and emotions.  Your body may move or shake or go into spams.  You could burst into tears or laughter.  Focus on your breath and pleasure and allow it to wash over you. Don’t judge.  Simply go with the flow.

Practice Makes Perfect

With anything that you want to do well or master, it takes practice. This includes sex and orgasms. So, if you want to get really good at creating energy orgasms, practice as much as you can, even 5-15 minutes each day.

Sexual Energy and the Chakras

In Taoist practice, the cultivation of Qi energy (vitality) involves deep practice of meditation, breath and focus, which leads to the expansion of ecstasy and higher levels of orgasm. During this practice, sexual energy is channeled up the 7 major chakras (or energy centers) through the body, beginning at the base of the spine and ending at the crown.

Kundalini is a concept from Hindu yogic practices which is the manifestation of life force (ecstatic sexual energy). “Often envisioned as a snake (Shakti, the goddess) coiled around the base of the spine (Shiva, the god), it represents the energy that rises up through each of the chakras, creating a channel from root to crown, a conduit for divine bliss.” To learn more about the Chakras and this concept, check out my article: That Sexy Snake: A Kundalini Rising Meditation for Couples.

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Go to Part Two of this article.

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

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Welcome to Part Two of Fire Breath Energy Orgasms. If you didn’t read Part One, you can do so NOW.

In Part One of this article, we learned what energy orgasms are, why you might want to have one, the tools you need to get you there, about the Chakras, and what sexual energy (Kundalini) is.

Now we will learn the techniques on how to achieve these amazing body and mind expanding orgasms.

How to Achieve a Fire Breath Orgasm

To begin with, Fire Breath Orgasm techniques should be practiced solo. Once you and your partner get the hang of doing this by yourselves, you can then combine these techniques with sexual touch and intercourse together.

Lay comfortably on your back, knees slightly bent, feet flat on floor. Take a deep breath through your mouth and yawn, leaving jaw relaxed and the back of your throat open. Empty your mind and let go of tension.

Take deep, relaxed breaths through the nose, filling your belly like a balloon, then exhale easily through your mouth as you press your lower back to the ground. Don’t force your breath. Try to make the breath circular, with no pause in between inhale and exhale.

With each breath, rock your hips and squeeze your PC muscle doing kegels. (Yes, guys can do kegels too!). Allow your thighs to open and close naturally. Doing kegels stimulates the genitals as it pumps sexual energy up throughout the entire body.

Next, begin using your mind and focus it inward to your chakras as you imagine pulling breath from the ground/atmosphere up through your perineum (the space between the genitals and anus), or Root Chakra. Energy follows thought, so just allow the energy to move upwards with your focus and breath, into the chakra. You can place your hands onto the chakra if you wish to help focus the energy. Once the energy there feels “charged” (on fire, warm, hot or electric) continue to the next chakra.

Continue breathing as you breathe the energy into the Second Chakra (lower belly), and then on exhale circulate it back down to the Root Chakra. Continue until that area becomes charged or lights up. Trust your intuition to know when it is charged up. It will feel as though the energy is moving up on its own.

Continue this technique as you move up all the chakras (solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown), cycling the energy between the two last chakras as you go. Soon you will begin to feel the effects of the Fire Breath Orgasm. As you get to the higher chakras, the energy will begin to move on its own. Remember to keep breathing as well as pumping the PC Muscle and undulating your hips.

When you get to the throat chakra, open your throat and make some noise. This can be sighs, or moans or other sounds which help move the energy upwards. At the third eye, roll your eyes up while keeping them closed as though you are looking at the top of your head.  This keeps the energy moving up. You will likely begin feeling the effects of an energy orgasm now.

You may feel light headed or dizzy, tingling in your extremities or all over your body. You may experience spasms or tremors, or a build up of sexual energy that may feel overpowering. Just take slow deep breaths and continue to move with the energy.

Once the energy reaches the crown chakra, it may feel as though energy is shooting out of your head. Soon you will feel a full body, energy orgasm. The process of moving energy up the chakras releases blocks. Releasing the blocks can cause an emotional release as well, so you may cry, laugh, scream, babble, or melt into it. Go with whatever happens and ride the orgasmic wave.

Other Types of Breaths

The breath work above is called Fire Breath. There is also another type of breath called “The Breath of Fire”, similar in name, but a different technique. You can use this breath to increase arousal very quickly, but it should only be done for a few minutes or you may hyperventilate.

The Breath of Fire helps quickly oxygenate the blood, which increase sexual energy and elevates desire.

Take rapid breaths through the nose while keeping the mouth closed. Inhale and push your navel outwards. Inhale and pull the navel towards the spine. You can place your hand on your diaphragm to focus the energy.

Begin with one breath every two seconds and work up to one to two breaths per second. This can be done during sex, or during energy orgasms, but only for a maximum of 3 minutes. Then go back to normal relaxed deep breathing.

Other Things to Keep in Mind

You may not experience an energy orgasm the first time you try this. It takes practice, so be patient and keep trying.

If you lose the energy, go back to the area where it slipped and begin again. Or go back to the Root Chakra and channel the energy directly up from there to the chakra you are working on.

Use your hands on the energy centers to help guide them up the chakras.

Use sound as you exhale to move the energy up easier, especially in the higher chakras.

Safety Precautions

Breathe Energy Orgasms are VERY powerful. Most people who learn these techniques do so under an instructor. So, be prepared and make sure you are ready to experience them.

Remember. Energy orgasms remove blocks in the chakras which can be emotional in nature. These can be past traumas including sexual assaults, or other types of “bad things” that once unblocked can come pouring out of you with the emotional/sexual/energy release.

You may cry, laugh, go hysterical. Or you may become moody or depressed afterwards. By removing these blocks, we are healing ourselves, but you may go through rough patches in between. It is recommended to get a Tantric Teacher, or knowledgeable sex coach to provide you with their expertise and support.

The Fire Breath Orgasm techniques in this article are based on those by Annie Sprinkle and Barbara Carrellas as well as other Tantric practitioners.

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

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Have you ever had really out of this world sex with your partner? Sex that was beyond all other experiences and you just knew you connected with her on some other level? If this sounds like something you want to experience then tantric sex is for you. A lot of people are intimidated by tantric sex because they don’t really know what it’s about or how it works. I know I felt that way many years ago when I first heard of tantric experiences, but of course being the sex curious person that I have always been I was dying to know more. Even if it wasn’t for me, I knew I had to learn as much about it as I could. And I sure was glad that I did.

Now all these years later I can tell you that even if you aren’t going to practice tantric sex every day of your life there are tantric practices that you can incorporate into your sex life that will majorly improve you and your partner’s experience. Today I’m going to share 3 fundamental tantric moves with you that you can start doing now to forever change your sex life.

What is tantric sex?

Tantra comes from India and was born over 6,000 years ago. In Tantra is it believed that sex expands consciousness and blends the polarities of male and female. There is a lot to Tantra, but to put it in simple terms, it is a meditative approach to sex that involves staying in the present moment during sex and not letting outside distractions enter your mind. Considering the fact that this is a huge challenge for many people, especially women, tantra has a lot to offer us to help us increase our pleasure.

The 3 Fundamental Tantric Practices You Need to Know

1. Use the 5 Senses – When you are with your partner use all 5 of your senses to experience being with them in that exact moment. Focus on what they smell like in the moment, what they taste like, what they look like, what they feel like, and what they sound like. Pay attention to the sounds, smells, flavors, sensations, and sights that you experiencing right in that moment and don’t compare it to other experiences you have had before. Don’t judge the experience based on expectations. Don’t think about what you want to happen next or what you hope the result will be (for example, an orgasm). Just focus fully on what you’re experiencing right there in that moment. Tune in to the sensations and rushes of pleasure that your body is having.

2. Breathe Deeply Together – This is a breathing exercise that you will practice every day with your partner. At first you might not see the point in it because there is nothing seemingly sexual about it at all, but of course it’s about connecting with your partner and using that to have better sex. First you stand facing your partner, holding one another. You place one hand on her back between her shoulder blades and the other at the base of her spine. She will face you and put her hands in the same position on your back. You’re going to start by focusing on your breathing. Pay attention to how it flows in and out of your body. Slowly start to notice her breathing and begin to synchronize your breathe. You should do this daily for 5 minutes. In order to be able to fully stay in the moment and not think about when the 5 minutes will be over, set a timer when you begin. This exercise will teach you breathing that you can use in the sexual act, plus it connects you on a daily basis and will heighten your sensitivity to sensations (your partner’s and your own!).

3. Your turn, My turn – Practice taking turns giving and receiving. You can start with something simple like a back rub for 2 minutes. Your partner will rub your back without receiving anything for 2 minutes. When it’s her turn she can choose what she would like you to do for 2 minutes. You should give your partner feedback and instruction during your time to receive. This teaches great communication and it encourages the sexual process to be about giving and learning how to be the best possible partner for your partner (something you know that I find extremely important!).

Alright tantric lover, it’s time to get started with these simple practices. Do you use any other tantric practices in the bedroom? I would love to hear all about it in the comment section below.

Sensual kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

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“So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. She taught him that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other, without being conquered or having conquered, so that neither is bleak or glutted or has the bad feeling of being used or misused.” –Herman Hesse

A lot of people can feel intimidated by tantric sex. It seems hard, like something you have to learn how to do, rather than something you instinctively know how to navigate and then can improve on. But tantric to some seems like something that sounds amazing, but hard to master. Guess what? It’s not. There are probably tantric sex practices that you already use without even realizing and you just need to tweak a little something in your practice. Here are 5 tantric methods that are easy to do and will seriously improve your sex life.

1. Intense eye contact – Okay, you’re probably thinking… what?? “Eye contact? I want physical contact!” But trust me on this one, give this a try. First, sit together facing one another in a comfortable place. This doesn’t even have to be sexual all the time. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. When you’re ready, open your eyes and gaze into your partner’s eyes without saying a word. This will feel uncomfortable and silly at first, but don’t laugh and try to take it seriously. Do this for about 5 minutes every day. As I said, you can do this in a non sexual situation, but I also recommend doing it while you have sex. It will give you butterflies all over again and raise the intensity level about 100%!

2. The Method of Conscious Touch – One of the reasons why we don’t reach our potential for sexual pleasure is because our minds are distracted while we’re being sexual with our partner. It’s not always that easy to forget the worries and events of the day, even when we are so lucky to be having hot sex! But in tantra this is a major goal. You want to learn how to make every touch count. That means working on staying in the moment and enjoying what is happening right then and there. It means not thinking about what you’re going to do next, what she is going to do next, the orgasm you’re going to have or any other thought related or not related to what you’re doing. You focus on THAT moment happening RIGHT now.

3. Delight the senses – In a previous article I mentioned that paying attention to all 5 senses was important in tantric sex. That is absolutely true and with this next tip you will take that information to the next level. Try blindfolding your partner and then taking time to delight each of their other senses. Feed them delicious aphrodisiac food. Light sensual smelling candles or rubbing essential oils on her chest. Touch her with different objects (a silk scarf, for example). Play music, talk to her, whisper in her ear. Once her sense of sight has been cut off, she will be much more tuned in to these other sensations.

4. Full Body Orgasms – Sounds pretty nice, huh? And it probably sounds like one of those tantric sex goals that are impossible for a normal person, but that’s not the case! It might take practice to get to a complete, full body orgasm, but hey! you’re practicing having ORGASMS. I think you can deal with that homework assignment. So, here is how it’s done. In tantra you want to build up erotic energy in the body and then let it ebb slightly. This means bringing yourself (and your partner) close to the point of orgasm and then slowing down so that you don’t actually cum. Then you continually bring yourself to that point and then back away, again and again. You can do this as many times as you like and then finally allow yourself to have an orgasm. What you experience will be so much more intense than you can even imagine. A full body orgasm!

5. Stay in the Moment – This is such an important part of tantra and so challenging for so many. You can help make it easier for yourself by trying to practice this in other areas of your life as well. And you can also do this with other kinds of intimacy. You might find that your sexual experiences with your partner are always the same. You might snuggle up to her in bed and get hard with the closeness of her body and then one thing leads to another. Try staying in one of those moments just enjoying it and not trying to make it turn into something else. You could stay holding her in your arms, snuggling and just feeling each others’ warmth. You could stay kissing each other and caressing each other. Do whatever activity you enjoy with your partner, but that often gets rushed through. Spend time there and don’t try to think about where it will lead.

Have fun with these tips and let me know how it went in the comments section below!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced sex tips and techniques, on how to give her a TRIGASM, CLICK HERE NOW!

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One of the things that usually turns people off to tantric sex is that they don’t know much about it. Not knowing much about it, they assume that it’s only for “hippie types” or the very spiritual. You might also assume that tantric sex is complicated and hard to learn. I’m here to tell you that NONE of these assumptions are true. In fact, it’s easy to incorporate tantric sex practices into your regular routine. By doing just that, you’ll reap the benefits of more intimate, intense and awesome sexual encounters. Here are 5 things to start doing right away to amp up your sex life using tantra:

1. Forget about orgasm being the end goal – This is an amazing revelation for so many lovers out there. Orgasm does not have to be the end all – be all of sex. For many women orgasm isn’t the most important part of sex already, especially for those women who can’t have an orgasm or have trouble orgasming from penetrative sex. But men tend to find it even harder to think that sex isn’t sex without orgasm. This ends up putting a lot of pressure on men and likely makes them enjoy sex even less. So, take that assumption and throw it out the window. Tantric love making is all about staying in the moment and enjoying exactly what is happening at that exact moment. If at one point you find yourself having an orgasm in the moment, great! But it shouldn’t be our focus.

2. Make your bedroom a sacred haven – Take time to totally revamp your loving space – the bedroom! Make sure it’s neat and tidy, nothing is more distracting than a huge mess everywhere you look. Make sure it smells great. Invest in some scented candles, aromatherapy oils or even some fresh flowers. Make sure your sheets are silky soft and clean. Buy some great, fluffy pillows. Try to keep the temperature at a comfortable number. Have the option to play music when you’re there with your partner. Keep a bottle of water close to the bed and anything else you might need handy (toys? lube? condoms? chocolate syrup?).

3. Shake your body, awaken your senses – Before having sex with your partner, go into your bedroom, put on your favorite song, stand with your feet hip width apart and relax your body. Start deep breathing through your mouth and try to imagine that the breath is reaching every corner of your body. Then begin to shake your ENTIRE body from head to toe. Do this for a full minute without stopping. It might feel silly, but you’re doing important work to awaken your entire body and preparing it for the sexual experience. Once the minute is up, lie down and call your partner into the room (you might even want to invite her to join you before!). The theory here is that you are releasing tension in all the parts of your body by shaking it out. When you release that tension you make room for pleasure and increased sensitivity. You can even have a full body orgasm!

4. Breath and rock back and forth – Sit on the bed facing your partner. She will sit on your lap, facing you, with her legs wrapped around your waist. Start with your eyes closed and begin focusing completely on your breathing. Begin rocking back and forth like a rocking chair, inhaling as your rock forward and exhaling as you rock backward. Once you have a rhythm going, tighten your PC muscles (AKA Kegel muscles) as you inhale/rock forward and relaxing them as you exhale/rock backward. Stimulating your PC muscles in this way as you breath will make you start to feel some tingling sensations in your genitals and other areas. Gaze into your partner’s eyes while continuing to do this. It might feel uncomfortable at first to stare into each other’s eyes while in such close proximity, but the results will pay off. You will feel electricity throughout your body and a deep connection.

5. Tantric kissing – Continue breathing and rocking back and forth together. You’ll soon realize that you’re taking your partner’s breath into your body, and she’s taking your breath in. Think about that as you continue. Then kiss each other deeply while sharing your breath and continue to move together. You should feel much more connected to one another and feel good and happy.

Have fun exploring!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

A lot of people are turned off by tantric sex without ever really knowing exactly what it is and how it’s done. They associate it with 10 hour long sex sessions, kink or new-age type thinking and assume, “it’s not for me.” But tantric sex is actually a lot different than you think. Practicing tantric sex doesn’t have to mean all day sex session (who has time for that, really?), you can easily incorporate tantric practices into your bedroom. You’ll see a huge improvement in your sex life and your relationship. Here’s how to do it:

1. Tantric sex is a form of meditation – I know what you’re probably thinking, “wait, there’s that new age stuff I was worried about!” but hear me out. This isn’t the kind of mediation you’re thinking of, after all, this involves getting intimate with your partner. Plus, the fact that it is a form of meditation means that it reduced stress and increases your focus. Both of those things lead to better, more pleasurable sex.

2. The brain is your biggest and most important sex organ – If you’re not convinced that your head need to be in the right place to have good sex, consider the following. Many sexual dysfunctions in both men and women can be attributed to psychological issues. I’m not talking about major psychological problems, I’m saying that your brain can easily block you from having an orgasm, getting an erection, lasting longer and enjoying sex to the fullest overall. Therefore, the first thing you need to take care of when it comes to sex is your brain (and your partner’s, of course).

3. Let go of expectations – Most sex these days is completely focused on unrealistic expectations. We’re so caught up in these expectations that we forget to actually enjoy what we’re doing. Some common expectations involve how long it should last, the best positions, the best techniques, how it should feel, and that you and your partner will have an orgasm. We are overly focused on the “goals” of sex and aren’t paying enough attention to the journey. Try forgetting about all of those expectations and notice how much more pleasurable sex becomes.

4. Get to know your own body – Another thing we often focus on is our partner’s body and how she is feeling. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to make sure you consider your partner’s experience and want to please her, but you don’t want to focus on this to the point where you forget about enjoying your own bodily sensations. Most men touch themselves with one main goal in mind, to have an orgasm and little else. Having that orgasm is just fine, but next time you masturbate, take time to really get to know your body and what you like. Being in tune will not only help you enjoy sex more, but it will also make you a better lover.

5. Slow WAY down – Did you know that thrusting away fast and hard can often lessen the sensations that you and your partner feel? In tantric sex it’s all about going slow. A tantric expert once told me to average 3 thrusts/strokes for every 30 you would normally do. It might be impossible, hard or just downright boring, but slowing way down will actually make you feel and enjoy the sensations more.

6. Entice all 5 senses – Don’t just pay attention to the sense of touch, but also take into account ways to excite your sense of smell, hearing, taste, and sight. Tantric sex is a holistic experience.

7. Keep your eyes open – Part of tantric sex is gazing into your partner’s eyes. This might feel uncomfortable at first and you might even experience some embarrassed laughter. That’s ok! Sex should be fun and not take that seriously. But do keep your eyes open the whole time. After a while it will stop feeling uncomfortable and you will start feeling even more connected to your partner.

8. Focus on what is happening – Instead of getting caught up in thoughts about how long you will last, if your partner will notice that you’ve gained weight, or if you’re big enough for her, just focus on exactly what it happening in the moment. Focus on your feelings and the sensations in your body.

9. Breathe – If you have heard anything about tantric sex before, this is probably one that you are familiar with. Many people hold their breath during sex and especially as they’re approaching orgasm. But you actually want to do the complete opposite. Take deep breaths from your belly. This will help blood flow throughout your body and into your genitals, making the sensations and orgasm more intense.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

Click Here For More Advanced Sex Secrets…

“I want no ordinary lover. I want sleepless nights, I want passion, I want someone who’s able to make my whole body shiver from a distance and also pull me close to make sense of all my bones.”

Animalistic sex sessions belong waaay up on every guy’s gotta-have-it list. But slow, soulful encounters shouldn’t get second billing just because they don’t leave cracks in the bedroom walls. This kind of sex is deeper than connecting physically. It’s about losing yourself in the moment and bonding emotionally as well. So do yourselves a favor and, some nights, put the following soulful sex advice into action.

Prolong preplay

This kind of carnal connection isn’t about insta-orgasm. It’s about savoring every touch and sensation, which magnifies the physical and emotional experience. It also results in a bigger payoff when your partner hits the big O. The sexual tension and anticipation leads to a more intense climax for women but also for men. To keep yourselves from sprinting to the finish line, lie in bed just kissing and caressing. This mutual stimulation puts you in a meditative state, allowing you to zero in on each sensation. Treat her to a tantalizing experience by touching her from head to toe. Becoming familiar with the details of her anatomy lets you mesh on a higher sensual level. So let your hands glide down her spine. Run your fingers along the crease where her thigh meets her groin. Then let her navigate your randy regions too. Uncovering pleasure points specific to your bodies is like a secret the two of you share. It’s another exclusive facet of your relationship.

Breathe in sync

It may sound like a lot of hot air, but breathing in unison can make you both feel totally connected. When you are focused on getting into the same rhythm, you enter a near trancelike state. It takes you into the “zone”, where you’re highly aware of your partner, and your external environment seems to fade to black. To synchronize your breathing, get into a body-to-body position, such as spoon or coital alignment. Or sit nose to nose with your legs wrapped around each other and your hands on each other’s chests so you can feel your heartbeats. Then inhale and exhale, slowly and deliberately, paying special attention to your woman’s pace as you caress and kiss. Breathing in tandem helps your excitement levels rise at the same rate too. It makes you feel physically melted.

Shut out sight and sound

One of the best ways to indulge in a supersensory erotic encounter – and savor every delicious second – is to prevent yourself from seeing and hearing distracting sensations. Cutting off sight and sound intensifies sex in two ways. Eliminating all potential disturbances keeps you centered on the moment and each other. Also, deleting one sense allows the others to become more acute, so you can really tune in to the pleasure you’re giving each other. You create an all-encompassing sexual exchange. To get into carnal concentration mode, ditch the mood music and romantic lighting. You need total silence and darkness. This would be a perfect time to bring out those blindfolds. As you caress your woman, really home in on how she feels and tastes. Try not to make a peep… except for the moans and sighs that mindlessly escape your lips. Get a feel for the texture of her skin, listen to her pounding heart as her arousal escalates, and nuzzle her all over so you can inhale her essence. At the same time, allow yourself to become lost in everything she’s doing to you. Just relax and revel in the exquisite pleasure she’s giving you.

Lock eyes

While blocking out distractions lets you focus inward and zoom in on your sensations, gazing at your partner forces you to concentrate on each other. Many women feel isolated during sex because you both tend to become so caught up in your own physical pleasure, you lose sight of the other person. But making eye contact is a way to communicate. It bridges the gap and lets you really be aware of your woman’s presence. This doesn’t mean that you should get into a staring contest with your partner. It’s more like you’re looking inside of her rather than just at her. Study her facial expressions and try to imagine what she’s thinking and feeling, especially when she nears orgasm. There’s something so soul-baring about seeing your partner at that instant, when she’s open and vulnerable. Locking each other’s gaze at this most personal moment is kind of like saying to each other “I trust you”. You need to feel truly bonded with someone to share that kind of acceptance.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. Click here for more tips on how to make sex truly intense.

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You may have heard people talk about full body orgasms before or this may be the first time you have ever heard of the concept. Either way, many people who don’t know about the subject have the same reaction: “sounds amazing! But how could it be real?!” It may sound unbelievable, but it’s very real. There are people all over the world who are enjoying these intense full body orgasms and YOU can too! Here are 12 important steps that you can take toward achieving a full body orgasm.

1. Get the facts – First you need to know a little bit about what a full body orgasm is, before you start trying to have one. This kind of orgasm is different than your typical orgasm. The one that you’re probably used to is relatively short and powerful all at once. But a full body orgasm can be much more intense, build up and last over a long period of time. For some it will last several minutes and for others it could last for several hours!

2. Talk first – In order to try full body orgasms you and your partner both have to be in agreement about it. Have a talk with each other about it and also discuss what you like in the bedroom (soft, sensual, rough, fast, slow), get specific (kiss me there, stroke that part, do it like this), and give details. This might not sound very exciting, but it will teach you A LOT about what your partner enjoys and it’s actually a huge turn on to talk about these things out loud with your partner.

3. Start the foreplay before you touch – As I mentioned before, talking can be an awesome form of foreplay. Don’t be shy or embarrassed to talk about sex with your partner and ask them to do things that you like. This increases communication and pleasure for both of you. Try setting the tone for the full body orgasm before you’ve even started to touch each other. Talk dirty to your partner over the phone or over dinner. Send a suggestive text message at some point during the day. Foreplay can begin hours before you actually start touching.

4. Master the art of kissing – A lot of couples who have been together for a long time don’t kiss as much as they used to. Kissing is such a wonderful and powerful way to give pleasure and it also increases intimacy. Don’t just kiss on the mouth, but kiss your partner all over her body. Find out what she likes best by asking her!

5. Use the power of your mind – Usually when we are having sex, all of our concentration is focused on our genitals. If you want to have a full body orgasm, you need to focus on moving that sexual energy all throughout your body. Imagine it moving from your gentials up through your torso, your chest and into your arms and head, and down into your legs and feet.

6. Pay attention to your breathing – Most people either start breathing really fast and heavy when they are coming to an orgasm or they hold their breath all together. This is a big mistake. How you breath directly affects how intense your orgasm is. So, when you notice your breathing becoming too fast or if you notice you’re holding your breath, slow way down and begin to take very slow and deep breathes.

7. Let the build up happen – Let the pleasure slowly build up and don’t rush things, instead of focusing on going right for the genital orgasm. Feel the sensations all over your body and try to prolong the sexual experience.

8. Focus on different areas – Spend time giving pleasure to different parts of the body and make sure your partner is totally focused on the sensations she is receiving in that part of her body. Her focus shouldn’t just be on her genitals.

9. Make sure it is a give and take – A full body orgasm isn’t about one person giving 100% and the other receiving 100%, it should be an equal give and take. That is an important part of the process.

10. Focus on your senses – The sense of touch is the one that is the most related to sex and orgasms for most people, but in order to have a full body orgasm, you need to be able to focus on ALL of the senses: taste, smell, hearing, sight and touch. Those other senses will heighten your pleasure and allow you to reach new levels of orgasm with your partner.

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To learn a lot more about full body orgasms and how to achieve them, check out our full step by step instructional guide here.

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When I talk to the readers of my website and other materials, they all have one resounding message in common: they want to having more sex. Some of them are in great relationships, but just wouldn’t mind having sex more often, and others are in relationships where they’re totally dissatisfied with how much sex they’re having. Then there is everything in between. If you find that you fall somewhere on that scale of dissatisfaction, I’ve got good news for you. I have a week long plan of how to have and give pleasure for 7 whole days. If you’re successful in pulling of this 7 day challenge, you’re sure to be having more sex with your partner, once she sees how amazing it can be with her.

Day 1

In order to be totally successful in this challenge, you need to be focusing on the emotional, as well as the physical connection you have with your partner. So, everyday you should focus one action on improving your emotional connection with your partner and one action on connecting on a sexual level.

Sexual – Give your partner a full-body massage, complete with massage oil, dimmed lighting, and soft music. Let it end where it ends. She might want to give you a massage in return, she might want to have sex. Or she might just say “thank you.” Don’t have any expectations and don’t ask for anything in return. If something happens, great! If it doesn’t, just enjoy giving pleasure to your partner and leave it at that.

Emotional – Sit and talk for at least 30 minutes, sharing stories and information about your day and how you’re doing. Don’t look at your cell phones, computers, TV or any other distraction during this time.

Day 2

Sexual – Today is a day to try mutual masturbation. This can be defined in a few different ways. First, you can each use your hands to masturbate the other person (you can finger her and gently massage her clit with your hands and she will jerk you off). You can do this simultaneous or you can take turns (I suggest taking turns so that each person can focus completely on either giving or receiving without any distractions). The other way to mutually masturbate is to touch yourselves while you watch each other. This can be really sexy and a huge turn on for some couples.

Emotional – Ask your partner to invite you to share one of her favorite activities with you. It should be something that you don’t usually do together, but that it important to her.

Day 3

Sexual – Ask your partner to be the boss in the bedroom tonight. She gets to decide what you do and how you do it. Pay attention! This is a great opportunity to learn more about what she likes and how she likes to be touched.

Emotional – Take your partner to do one of your favorite activities so that you can experience something you love with her.

Day 4

Sexual – Have sex somewhere in the house that is NOT your bed. It can be on the dresser in your bedroom or on the floor… or you can get wild and do it in another room all together!

Emotional – Commit to eating every meal together today. Have breakfast together in the morning (no screens, no newspapers), try to have lunch together if it’s possible and then again at night for dinner.

Day 5

Sexual – Try out some dirty talk. You can either try talking dirty to each other while you’re doing foreplay or having sex, or you can try sharing some personal fantasies that really get you turned on. This will help increase communication and comfort around sex, which is really important to a healthy relationship!

Emotional – Go out on a date. This time she picks the place and makes the plan.

Day 6

Sexual – Take a shower together. The act of washing each other and being wet and naked is VERY erotic for most people. Have fun, but do it without any expectations of where it will lead. No pressure.

Emotional – This time it’s your turn to pick the date night and plan it out.

Day 7

Sexual – This is the final day, you’ve made it! Today it’s all about oral sex. Get your partner to be specific about what she likes (and doesn’t like!). Oral sex is the ultimate gift you can gift in the bedroom.

Emotional – Spend an hour cuddling together. You can do this on the couch or in bed, but it should be strictly cuddling, no sex. Intimacy is about a lot more than sex!

Kisses,
Fidan Paula

P.S. To discover more advanced tips and techniques on female orgasms CLICK HERE NOW!

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You may have heard about tantra or tantric sex, maybe at your local sex shop or on the internet — it’s a pretty trendy concept nowadays. But what is tantra exactly? And more importantly, how can you add its principles to your sex life?

The origins of tantra are hard to pin down, since it’s been around for thousands of years, but we know the ancient practice appears in Hinduism and Buddhism (just maybe not exactly as pop culture would have you believe). At its core, tantra is all about awareness, mindfulness, and connection. The general definition of tantra is to weave, to unify, and to mesh.

So yes, that means tantric sex tips are heavily based in relationship 101 tools, such as communicating, to achieve unification with your partner. And the great part about tantra is that it isn’t stiff — it’s all about unifying with your partner so you can both enjoy yourselves. But that doesn’t mean it’s not intimidating if you’ve never tried incorporating its principles into your sex life before.

If you’re looking for where to start, here are some tantric sex tips that you can try whether you’re a tantra first-timer or not, and they will definitely come in handy this holiday season, when all you want is connect with your loved one on all possible levels.

Mix it up

Add new elements to your tantric practice by trying something different, whether that’s pausing during sex to just kiss and explore each others’ bodies, or trying out a new position. I believe any position can be a tantric position. Get creative and mindfully add a new twist for a different tantric experience.

Prep your mind.

Getting ready for tantric sex requires not only physical, but mental preparation. Since tantra is a spiritual practice, I recommend you start first with yoga and meditation. By getting in touch with your energy and learning how to control your breathing, you’ll build the foundations for engaging in tantric sex later on.

Slow things down.

Tantra is all about the journey, not the destination. Have patience with yourself and with your partner, and really take the time to explore each other and what feels good. Try touching each other, and understanding that everything is more about pleasure first, and then the orgasm comes after. Don’t rush through foreplay or even through acts such as removing each other’s clothes. Instead, zone in and focus on every moment, how it makes you feel and how it connects you with your partner.

Discover the energy orgasm.

Several tantra experts tout the importance of investigating breath and energy orgasms, which are derived from the practice of not restricting sexual energy to the act of sex alone. Learn more about what an orgasm is, and how to have orgasms that are non-genitally focused. You can start doing just that by diving into the history of orgasm research and little-known ways to climax at new heights from a tantric perspective.

Enjoy cunnilingus.

Women are capable of achieving over 11 different types of orgasms. What’s one of those orgasms? You guessed it: clitoral. To give your partner a clitoral orgasm when having tantric sex, I suggest trying cunnilingus for direct stimulation. So, what’s the secret to making your cunnilingus intentionally tantric? Both parties should be present. The whole goal of tantra is to get present in your body so that you connect with yourself and your partner. During cunnilingus, ask your partner to focus on her breath, while you look up and make eye contact.

Write a list of what turns you on.

Tantra is friendly to first-timers, but it still requires you to do a little bit of homework (don’t worry, it’s fun). Since communication is the key to forming the connection tantric sex is all about, it’s important that you understand what turns you on before you communicate your sexual wants and needs. So write a list of what turns you on and urge your partner to do the same. After each of you has finished their list, exchange them and talk them out. Not only will this activity turn into a steamy brainstorm session — it’s pretty much dirty talk — but it’s a wonderful opportunity to learn more about yourself and your lover. Plus, any kink mentioned on the list, from role-playing to BDSM, can be tantric when done intentionally.

Hot kisses,

Fidan Paula

P.S. For more tips on how to enrich your lovemaking this holiday, check out my program on the matter, Energy Orgasms.

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